There is Everything for You Here

Chapter 15

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I could tell Isaac felt bad. When I ignored him for three days straight, I started to catch him looking at me, always with an expression on his face like he wanted to say something. I didn't know if I wanted him to even say anything. Maybe I did, even though I was choosing the silence.

There was still this pull, this pull where I wanted to say or do something or just talk to him and I missed our nightly reading sessions, but oh god he was such an ass and I was not about to speak to him first – childish, I know.  Maybe he was starting to rub off on me

"Just talk to him," said Jameela. The sun was out, and we were painting our toes in the lush backyard. Klara was delighted when we went outside to discover that the sunflowers had started to open, bringing her face close to one and inhaling deeply.

The breeze carried the fat petals the cherry blossom trees had to offer across the yard, blowing through the yard like it was snowing. This late in the season, the petals were almost all gone. She pulled some out of my hair as I painted her toes.

Despite the fact it was almost June, she insisted on alternating red and green – "The Christmas spirit is always in season," she claimed. I liked the way Klara held herself, so sure of what she liked and not being afraid to say it. I wished I was more like that.

"No, I mean if we want to talk then he'll say something, and we'll talk. It's not a hard thing to do. All he has to do is tell me how he feels, just tell me the truth." I focused on getting the polish even on Klara's nail. I always had relied on my mom to paint my nails, so I had never really gotten good at my own. Or painting others for that matter.

"Oh really, telling the truth is suddenly so easy? Where exactly does your family think you are?" Jameela asked. I stuck my tongue out at her, even if she did have a point.

I faked my way through avoiding a few too many family dinners lately, redirecting everything to the amount of schoolwork I was doing, explaining away my absences with made up quizzes and tests I had to study for.

"Stella, we know you miss your reading buddy, don't deny it. Maybe just talk to him. It's a tough conversation to have, and to be honest I think that you might be better at communicating than he is, so why don't you start the conversation off, and he can follow?" Klara suggested. "I think that would probably be your best bet here. Or you could avoid him forever and pretend he doesn't exist."

"Ugh, but that would involve having to talk to him. Face to face." I didn't quite like the idea of that.

"Yeah, and?"

"I don't know, it's just kind of scary."

"Yeah, but it's just something you have to do." I stayed silent, knowing she was right, but I didn't want to let her know that.

"Hey, stop thinking so hard – you're going to mess up my nail polish," Klara whined.

"Well, that is the most important thing here." Jameela snickered, flipping a page of her magazine. "We really need a hammock in this backyard or something," she said as an afterthought. "But really, talk to him soon or we're going to have to lock you two in a closet or something to work it out."

"Great idea. Yeah, you guys can work out your seeeexual tension," Klara drawled, wiggling her eyebrows.

"No, it's fine, fine okay I'll just talk to him today. No closets here."

"How about the garage?"

"No."

"Bedroom?"

"Yes."