There is Everything for You Here

Chapter 2

Well, it was not okay. Not even a little bit. A week later, Marco was escorting me to some wellness center in the middle of nowhere. When he said wellness center, I thought he was joking. Wasn't he supposed to be a doctor? A wellness center barely sounded like medicine. Couldn't he have just gotten me some pills or something? 

I stared hard at the pamphlet in my hands, which had already started to pucker from my sweaty palms. Hemlock Wellness Center: The Best in Wellness. Even the name was stupid. Who named their building after a tree? The pamphlet promised a rejuvenating 12-week stay – complete with group therapy and exposure to the wilderness. Blah blah blah. 

Although it had taken some convincing on Marco's part, the program didn't look too bad. Plus, it was smack dab middle of nowhere, so at least I wasn't going to run into anyone I knew. I mentioned this to Marco, but he just unhelpfully reminded me that taking care of my mental health wasn't something I needed to be embarrassed about. Somewhere in my heart, I knew he was right, but I couldn't help feeling this way. At least he had pinkie sworn to me not to tell the rest of my family.

My excuse was simple: I had decided to take summer classes at school, so I would be staying a couple months longer on campus. My father was thrilled I was taking my studies so seriously that he didn't even ask any questions. My mother was harder to convince. In her defense, I had once claimed summer courses were for super nerds who didn't have a life. My bad. But, after my thorough insistence I was trying to take a serious interest in my studies, she got off my back.

"Stella, what do you think?" Marco interrupted my thoughts as my eyes glazed over the sea of greenery whizzing past my window.

"Huh?" I said, snapping back into reality. "What were you saying?" Marco furrowed his thick eyebrows at my inattentiveness.

"I said, I think you're really going to like this place. A buddy of mine went here for one of their fall programs, and he really liked it. A lot of people find it helpful to be here. Plus, look at the scenery – it's so beautiful here." 

The trees started to thin out as we approached the center, and I felt my stomach start to tighten. I knew I had the full two-hour drive to mentally prepare for my arrival, but I was nervous nonetheless. 

I tried to focus on my socks. I had kicked my shoes off at the start of the drive, leaving my red gnome socks on display. Picking at a loose thread, I tried to think about anything but what was coming next. It wouldn't budge, even when I wrapped it around my finger tightly, pulling it as hard as I could. Eventually I gave up and decided to pick at my nails instead.

At least it wasn't an ugly building. It wasn't even as center-y looking as I thought it would be. Instead, there was a huge log house, practically a mansion, with tall pine trees all around. I was impressed at how much privacy there was up here. 

Marco pulled into the long gravel driveway, expertly parking the car right out front. We sat in silence, taking in the surroundings.

"It's going to be okay," he assured me for what felt like the 1000th time. I was so sick of him saying that. I stared straight ahead at the house. My stomach dipped again, like I was about to soar downwards on a rollercoaster.

"Are you sure I even need to be here?" I asked him, my throat feeling tight. He rubbed his eyes, inhaling deeply, and turned to look at me. He was probably getting tired of my I need help/I am fine back and forth ping pong. I was even starting to get tired of it. But I couldn't help it, I was just feeling so confused.

"Look Stella, whether you want to admit it or not, you need some help. Now, you can choose to ignore the help being offered, but it would not do you any good. Trust me, this is the best thing for you." He smiled gently at me, maybe to make his argument convincing. Turning away from his watchful eye, I crossed my arms and brought my knees close to my chest, staring hard out the window.