The Zen'in Clan

Chapter Eleven: Bonds

Hiiii! Sorry I forgot to update. Hope you're having a good day. This is a warning that this chapter contains gruesome content. Feel free to skip. Happy reading!😊
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Move, and I'll gut you like a fish." I threatened. "It's impressive on how fast you can move." Fushiguro said. "Toji? Dammit." I let go of his throat as he took the knife out of my hand. He turned around. "Gut me like a fish?" He repeated while laughing. "What the hell are you doing up and why are you in the dark like an intruder?" I asked. "I couldn't sleep and the moon is so beautiful out tonight." He explained. I rolled my eyes. "What's on your mind that's keeping you from sleeping?" He shrugged. The moonlight kissed his face as he leaned against the sink. "A lot." He said. "Still? You know you've been having a lot on your mind lately." Fushiguro looked down as he played with his ring. He was silent for a while I watched him. "I never expected my life to go this bad. My wife is dead and I can't even see my son. I was never there for him. If he knows I'm alive I'm sure he'll hate me. Satoru will be after me because I'm not dead. That and I did try to kill him. I just thought I'd be an active father. I know I get to start over with Naoki but it's not fair to Megumi. It can't be helped that she died but with the lost of his mom I should've been watching over him. If it weren't for the fucked up clan, his life would've been normal. And if he ever have kids in the future the last thing I needed, were my own grandkids rejected if they were born without cursed energy. I always used to make her tea or coffee every morning depending on her mood. I always wanted to kiss her lips and tell her to have a good day at work, while I'd stay home with Megumi. We'd share the memories together of his first words and first steps. That was the whole reason I left, dropped my name and took on hers. To have that life. And to give my kids everything to have a normal life. Have the options to go to a normal school or go to Jujutsu High. She was so beautiful. Her smile was brighter than the sun and the moon. But she was also kind of like me. She had cursed energy and she had an irresistible edge to her. And that drew me in. I got this scar on my mouth because of her. When she let her guard down around me, she was like a whole new person. I guess what I've been chasing was a dream. I was a dumbass to think changing my name would make my life easier." Toji spoke slowly and softly. He kept twirling his ring. "I wanted us to grow old together. It was clearly far fetched. I miss her a lot. More importantly, I'm slowly starting to fall for someone. It doesn't feel right. I don't deserve to find love again. I do want to get married again yes but that was in theory. Now that this person has changed my life, I feel guilty for starting over. I don't deserve to be happy. I'm afraid I'll forget her. I know I never will but anything is possible. And I'll be giving up her name to take on another. She'll always live within my son. She'll always be with me.  I just think if she fell in love with someone other than me, her life wouldn't have ended up like this. Her son wouldn't be robbed of both parents and have been sold." He continued. I stood there stunned. Fushiguro finally spoke of his wife to me. Not only that, he explained his fears and his deepest thoughts. His cheeks were glistening and I couldn't tell if he was crying or if the moon shimmered over him again. My body moved forward before I could think. I brought his face into my hands. His cheeks were wet. I wipe his tears with my thumbs. "Fushiguro, you cannot keep punishing yourself for everything that went wrong. Majority of it were out of your hands. You can't help being born into that clan. I can tell how much you wish you were there for Megumi. Everything you've been doing with Naoki is what you would've done with him. And your wife would've been proud. I'm not a parent and perfect parents doesn't exist but I can see your progression as a person and a father. She'd probably beat your ass for taping him against the wall. And dangling him instead of properly holding him. And letting him play with your cursed worm. Trying to teach him bad words. But she'd definitely teach you. If Megumi is like his mom, I'm sure he'll forgive you. Maybe not right away but he'll come around. And you do deserve happiness. Sure you've done questionable things but if your heart desires someone else besides your wife, that's fine too. You won't forget her. She would want you to be happy. Just like if the roles were reversed, you would want her to be happy if she fell in love with another man after your passing. Stop being so hard on yourself. You've come a long way. From being the most mysterious untrustworthy guy at my coffee shop who always watch his back, to being an active father who is changing for the better. And if you haven't told the person you've fallen for your feelings then you need to. Be proud of the person you've become Toji Zen'in Fushiguro." A smile spread across his face. He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. He wrapped me in his arms. "Thank you for listening." "Thank you for opening up to me about her." He rested his chin on my head. "So why are you up?" Toji asked me. "O-Oh I just had another bad dream." I lied. "The same one?" "Mhm." "You've been having that dream a lot lately. What's triggering your memories of being kidnapped?" I shrugged. "Don't know." I haven't had those dreams for the past month or so. I don't know why but I always end up in the most random dreams and Toji's involved. Always. Maybe I'm around him too much. And tonight was no better. That definitely has to because I'm still not sexually active. "Let's go check on Naoki." Toji took my hand and lead me upstairs before I could react. I followed him upstairs. He lead me into his room. Naoki was still asleep. I smiled and climbed in bed. Toji got on the other side. He picked up Naoki and placed him on his chest. "And you wonder why he can't sleep unless he's on your chest." I pointed out. He chuckled. "Guilty." Naoki stirred in his sleep. "Y/N I'm glad you're my partner. I wouldn't want anyone else to help me with him." "Ehh I'm more like a nanny than a partner. This is more like an eighty out of twenty. I'm doing the twenty percent." "Right..." he awkwardly agreed. He smiled slightly. The scar gives his face an edge, which is kind of sexy. Why am I thinking like this? That's creepy. I shook the thought out of my head. Toji watched me. "Those scars..." I looked down. "Oh..." I said. "What exactly happened?" "When I was chained down they slashed me each time I refused to kill Hoshiyomi. The elders were trying to take my organs. They tried to take my eyes too." I explained as Toji's eyes were fixated on my S shaped scar. "Salt were poured into my wounds after they carved me. I was carved alphabetically. That was on top of the slashes for whenever I refused. But this S isn't from that." I lowered my pants a bit more while holding my shirt. "Takahashi." Toji read and I nodded. "It's to remember who I am and honor them. After it was carved with cursed energy, they burned it on me." I turned around and took my shirt off. "A snake?" "To remind anyone that I'm a traitor." I responded while putting my shirt back on. I turned around. Naoki was back on the bed. Toji was sitting up. His entire face had multiple expressions. Sadness. Anger. Pain. Hatred. "The doctors stitched me up but they said it was never going to heal." "Can you heal yourself?" "Through my kisses. The elders knew exactly what they were doing. Every clan member watched. I was the prime example of what would happen if you disobey. The scars that didn't mean anything were inflicted on me where I can heal." "Are there more?" I nodded. "Can I see them?" I was taken aback. "Y-You don't have to." I took a deep breath and removed my night clothes. Fushiguro gasped as he thoroughly inspected each scar. His eyes trailed from the scars on my chest to the scars on my inner thighs. "Can I?" I nodded as I felt him gently touch them. "And these scars have meanings too?" I nodded. His facial expression changed. It was blank. He threw himself at me and I was in his arms. He didn't say anything as he kept me in his arms. I hugged him back. He was breathing rapidly. His grip tightened around me. I felt as he rubbed my back. I started to feel awkward at I was exposed underneath him. This felt like a dream. Me? In my underwear in front of Toji? Yeah this isn't real. Toji pulled away and looked at me. He was completely worried. I slapped myself in the face hard. "What'd you do that for?" He asked. "I wanted to see if I was asleep. And I'm not. Oh god!" I threw the blanket around me. "Turn around so I can dress!" "Fine." He turned around and I quickly got dressed. "I'm done." I announced. He turned around to face me. He still looked at me worried. "I'm fine. I've gotten over it. And they're dead so I get the last laugh." I said joyfully. I smiled wide after saying that. "You are incredible. I can't imagine what pain you went through and yet you find ways to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal." "In a world full of curses, you have to be crazy or you're paralyzed with fear. Anyway. The girl you've fallen for, does she know?" "No." "Will you ever tell her?" "No." "Yeah I figured you would say that. You're not good with opening up." "How can you read me so well?" "Like I said Fushiguro, intuitive." He smiled. "I'm pretty sure she has feelings for you too. How much does she know about you?" "Everything except my feelings for her." "Oh it seems like you have been opening up to other people. That's...good." "She's special so only she knows." "And me. So that's two of us." Yeah...two." I covered Naoki. "Well let me know when you two start dating and I'll be happy to watch Naoki." "That'll be-never mind." He cut himself off. I turned the tv on. We watched a movie together.