The Zen'in Clan

Chapter Twenty: The Ring

Hiiii! Hope all is well. Happy reading!😊
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been about twenty-four hours since Toji appeared at my door. With his confession and his love for me, is a lot to take in. Then I started thinking about the tiny part of love I still had for him. It's not strong enough for me to take him back. I'm just surprised it's still there. I called him to come over and see his kids. Right now, Megumi was helping them color while Hoshiyomi was out on a mission. "He's coming over soon." I told Megumi. "I don't care. He's not here for me." "I'm going to put you in therapy too." "Don't need it. I just hate knowing he'll be around." I tussled just hair. "Come on, cheer up." "I'm not mad. Do I hate him? Yes. Do I want him dead? Of course. But if he disappears and hurt you, Naoki or Naori, I will kill him." "He can't hurt me again. But he knows he's a dead man if he hurt them." "Good. So we're on the same page." "That he's a dead man either way?" "Yup. I also ordered food." "What did you buy?" "Sushi." "Wait you actually like sushi? Itadori and Kugisaki complained that you didn't." There was a knock on the door. Megumi got up to go answer it. "I do but they always argue about what's the best sushi." He opened the door an immediately slammed it. "Did you just slam the door on the delivery guy?" I asked, getting up. "Nope." He went to his siblings. "Then-" I cut myself off when I saw Toji after opening the door. "Yeah I figured it was you. Come on in." I stepped back and let him in. "Daddy!" Naoki said. He got up and started running. Toji bent down and scooped him up. "There's my little man. Have you been good for mama?" Toji asked. "Ya!" He agreed. Naori was in Megumi's arms. There was another knock on the door. I answered it. "Megumi your sushi's here." I called. He came up to us. Naori reached for me. "Hi." I greeted as I took her. "Hi mama." She replied. I kissed all over her face, causing her into a fit of laughter. Megumi left. Naori looked at Toji and held me tighter. "It's okay sweetie he won't hurt you." I cooed. "Kay mama." She loosened her grip on me. She kept staring at Toji. "It's okay if you want to go to him." I encouraged. She shook her head no. "I tried." I told Toji. "I knew this would happen. I'm prepared for it." The front door opened and Shinosuke walked in. "Oh. You're here." He spat. "Daddy!" Naori started squirming in my arms. "Hey! How's my favorite goddaughter?" He scooped her out of my arms. "She's your only goddaughter." I joked. "That's what makes her more special." Shinosuke winked. "Let's go find your big brother." "Gumi!" She shouted. She pointed towards the dining room. Naoki started squirming and Toji placed him down. He went after Shinosuke. "So Shinosuke is her father." "According to her, yes. And when she's older she'll understand he's just her godfather. She'll remember you whether you stay involved or not because of her twelve eyes." Toji was choking back tears. "I wish I was there during her birth. I wish I met her the moment she arrived." "Well it is what it is. There's no time traveling." "Shinosuke is in love with you." "I know that. And I love him too. But we both know we're better off as best friends. He loves his fiancée more. Did you come here to start a fight?" I questioned. "No. I wasn't sure if you knew." "And if I didn't?" I challenged. "I would tell you to marry him after letting you know how he feels." "He sure is husband material unlike you. But we communicated already and decided remaining friends is the best option. He knows how much I need him and I don't want to sabotage that." Toji looked strained. Like he's holding back. "I want to hold you so bad right now. Kiss all over your beautiful face and tell you how much I love you." "You don't get to do that anymore. But you can spend some nights here. To help Naori be familiar with you. Whether she calls you daddy or not, is up to her." "That's a start." Toji sat down on the couch. I sat on the table across from him. "I miss looking at your face." He said aloud. I rolled my eyes. "Did you mean it when you said you don't love me anymore?" "Yes. Until Megumi asked if I still loved you. I told him yes. But it's a small part of me. Just like a small part of me still loves Shinosuke as a lover. I'll always love him as a best friend. And the majority of my love goes towards Naoki, Naori, Megumi, Hoshiyomi and Maki." "If-when things go well in the future, do you see yourself giving me another chance?" "I don't see a future with you. You were doing so well physically for six months and then you left. You have to be doing well physically and mentally. I don't mind communicating with you on it. Just know we can talk it out." "And I'll be there for you. Even if it's just a bad day. Or you're exhausted from work." "My bad days never last long. The moment I walk through the door and see their tiny faces, happiness wash over me. It's the best feeling in the world." "I want to experience that." "Well then Toji, you'll have to work your ass off first."  "I will gladly do that. And I will win your trust and love back." "Yeah don't do that. Just focus on your kids. I also can't guarantee if Megumi will ever come around, considering you left twice." I added while putting my foot between his legs. He started rubbing my leg. "Why are you so confident in getting me back?" "Because I love you." He replied while kissing my leg. I felt his tongue. He looked up at me, waiting for a reaction. 'Be strong. Don't give in. He doesn't deserve it. You know what he's doing.' I tried to convince myself. "You'll always be the one I want." He continued in between kisses on my leg. "You're the reason I want to live. You're my oxygen and I was suffocating without you, baby girl." He lowly added. I closed my eyes. I felt as he held the back of my neck, tracing my bottom lip with his thumb. "You'll always be my wife." He whispered before pressing his lips against mine. I was enjoying it. God I miss his kisses. I broke away and shoved him back onto the couch. "Don't mess with my head." I snarled. "I'm not. I mean every word I say. And I'll put it into actions." "Seducing me isn't going to make me break." "Y/N..." he breathed. "How long are you going to keep your guard up?" He continued. "Around you? Until one of us stops breathing." He smirked. "I missed you so much. Everything about you." Toji got down on one knee. "The hell are you doing?" I asked. He opened up a box revealing a ring. He took my wedding finger. "This is a promise ring." He announced as he slipped it on my finger. I started to take it off. "Don't. The day you take it off, is the day I lost you forever. The day I take it off you, is the day I'm replacing it with an engagement ring." He explained, while slipping the ring back on. He kissed my hand and kissed the ring. "Y-you're serious?" "I'm not playing with you. I never was. All of my decisions are serious whether it was right or wrong. My last decision was wrong but this decision is right. I feel it in my body and mind." He wrapped his arms around me and placed his head against my stomach. He looked up at me. "I love you so much." He told me. He lifted my shirt and kissed my scars. "I'm so sorry for leaving you. I'll never leave you again." "If you do, I'm taking your head." I warned. "Understood." Toji agreed. "I want you so bad." Toji moaned. He stood up, towering over me. "I-I'm going to put them down for a nap. Can you go get Naoki?" I asked. "Naori?" I called. "Yes mama?" "It's nap time." I picked her up. Toji had Naoki and followed me upstairs. I headed into their room. I placed Naori in bed. "They sleep in the same bed. She cannot sleep without him." Toji nodded and placed Naoki next to his sister. I turned the tv on for them. I kissed both of their foreheads. "You're such a perfect mother." Toji said behind me. My body was pressed against his. "I know. They're my reason to keep going." Naori was out like a light. Naoki kissed her cheek and placed the blanket over her more. I smiled. "Come on, so he can go to sleep." I headed out and Toji followed. He closed the door behind him. "That was the cutest thing ever." He whispered. "If you were around, you'd know that's his routine. And each night, we take turns reading them to sleep." I replied as I headed into my room. "When she cries from a nightmare he's already there comforting her. Still as a mom, I do rush in. Actually we all do. If they're both having nightmares, then they sleep with me or sleep with Megumi." He nodded. "Good to know." Toji sat down on my bed. He was watching me. "I can't believe you're in front of me. And it's not a hallucination." "You've had hallucinations of me?" "Yes. Dreams of you as well. Dreams of when we were together. Dreams of us getting married and having our first child. Growing old together. The hallucinations were you telling me everything was going to be okay. You were holding me. Stroking my hair. You never let me go." "Is that why you were in front of me like that?" "Yes. And it was real this time." I looked at the ring on my finger.  I groaned. "I'm so conflicted. One hand, I wish you never came back or I had the willpower to kick you out right now but like...you are here and I-I want to take you back. But you'll never understand what we endured during your absence. I can't just sweep it under the rug so suddenly. I feel like I should be out to kill you. I don't even have a reason to since I stopped hating you five months ago. If you can make it past six months as an active father, earning my trust and patch things over with Megumi, we can start over. And Megumi is a tough nut to crack. He's also very overprotective of me." "Those are the chances I'm willing to take if it means I'll be with my family." I exhaled deeply. "You're a real handful Fushiguro. Oh. And you're reading these. Every single one. You don't have a choice." I grabbed ten notebooks and dropped them in his lap. "What's this?" "A daily journal of my journey to get where I am today. From the same day I've read your letter until two months ago. This is the closest you'll understand the pain we all went through. It's mostly my emotions but I did add Megumi's and Shinosuke's. Come find me when you're done." I walked out and headed downstairs. "Took you long enough." Shinosuke pointed out. "Well after putting them in bed, we talked for a bit. And now, he's forced to read my journals." Shinosuke whistled. "He's going to be an emotional wreck." "Serves him right." Megumi chimed in. "Of course you two would know. Both of y'all started snooping." "But we knew how you were feeling once you stopped telling us. We're proud of your progression." "I also told him if he can become an active father longer than a year, earn my trust and patch things up with Megumi, we could start over." "Tch. I don't want to deal with him." "You might change your mind in the future. Even if it's not next year, he'll keep trying. I told him if he leaves again, I'll have his head." "As you should." They both agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Megumi stepped out with Hoshiyomi when he got back. Guess they're finally doing normal teenage things. Shinosuke went to take his fiancée out on a date. I was basically home with they kids while Toji was still upstairs reading. I was watching Non Non Biyori with them in the living room. "Nyanpasu!" Naori hollered. I smiled and kissed her cheek. She crawled into my lap. I wrapped my arm around her and Naoki. Naoki preferred How To Keep A Mummy but he doesn't mind if Naori wants to watch her show. Naori started singing along with Renge the character. "Wow that's some dark lyrics." I loudly said to myself. "Alright after this, it's time for a bath and bed." "Kay!" They agreed. The anime ended shortly after. "Come on it's bath time." I placed Naori on her feet and headed upstairs. I went in their room and placed their night clothes on the bed. I grabbed everything they needed and headed into the bathroom. I started their bath. I put bubbles in. "Alright take off your clothes." I instructed. I made sure the water wasn't too hot. I placed Naoki in and they Naori. They immediately start splashing each other. I laughed. I started washing their hair. They played with their toys. I hummed as I cleaned them. When I was done, I rinsed them off and took them out the tub one by one. I carried them both to the room and dried them off. I rubbed lotion on them and helped them get dressed. "You two stay on bed." I ordered. "Kay mama!" I headed back into the bathroom, drained the water and cleaned the tub. I finished up and headed back into their room. I grabbed the Sea Animals books. I sat on the rocking chair and they climbed in my lap. I started reading to them as I started rocking slowly. Not even halfway through the book, Naoki was out first. I heard the door open as I kept reading. Naori pointed. "Catfish." I told her. "Catfish." She repeated. "Good job." Naori started rubbing her eyes. I kept reading. When I finished reading, she too fell asleep. I scooped them up and placed them in bed. I tucked them in and kissed their cheeks. "Sweet dreams my babies. Mama loves you." I lowly said as I tucked them in. I looked towards the door to see Toji standing there. His eyes were dark red. I turned their lamp off and gently closed the door behind me. I walked into my room and Toji followed. "You are a wonderful mother Y/N." "I know." Toji closed the gap between us and engulfed me in his arms. I stood there completely still. "I-I've read every single page. Apologies can't even begin to patch up the pain a-and the trauma I caused. But baby, I am here. I'm glad you have a really strong support system. I wouldn't live if I found out you were no longer on this earth. You are a strong person who went through so much because of me. I should have been there for you. Especially through your pregnancy. You've come a long way and I'm so fuckin proud of you for it. I wish I could take away all the pain each one of you endured and carry that weight on my shoulders. I can see why you fell for Shinosuke. He's incredible and he kept his word. I'll do everything in my power to make things right. And it'll take the rest of my life to do it. I'm willing to fight for each and every one of you." Toji started kissing my face. "Please let me be your security and your safety blanket, if you'll have me." He trailed kisses to my neck and to my shoulders then arms. He wrapped his arms around me me and placed his chin on top of my head. I heard him sniff repeatedly. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I truly am. I wish I never put you all through so much."  "No amount of apologies can make up for what you did. And you're here for the kids. You need to focus on them, not me." "You're the mother of my children and my wife. I'm going to look after you too."  "Pick any guest room you like." I offered him. He took the hint and left out.