The Zen'in Clan

Chapter Nineteen: Return

Hiiiiii! I hope nobody hates Toji now. I'll understand if you're mad at him. Happy reading!😊
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Today, Megumi, Gojo and I came back from signing the adoption papers. Gojo went back to the school while Megumi and I came home. I was super excited. It was a fantastic day. I ordered lunch for all of us. Shinosuke was over. "So how're things with you and your fiancé?" I asked. "We're good. Her family's still stressing her out." He responded. Three months ago, he proposed to his girlfriend. They've been together for almost two years now. "Why doesn't she cut them off?" I asked. "She loves them to death, but they're so toxic." "You can either set them straight, or she set them straight. But it's best she does it. And she'll deal with it. Soon." I encouraged. "I hope you're right. I don't want to lose her." "You won't lose her." There was a knock on the door. "Guess that's the food. Kids, food's here!" I yelled. "I always wanted to do that." I said to Shinosuke as I got up. I opened the door, and there he was. Toji Fushiguro standing in my doorway. I immediately punched him. "You have some fucking nerve!" I shouted. "Y/N did you just hit the delivery guy?" Shinosuke asked as I heard he got closer. Toji was holding his nose. "You!" He angrily said. He threw a punch at Toji. I held Shinosuke back. "What do you want, deadbeat?" I spat. "I need to speak with you." He replied, still holding his nose. I hope I broke it. Blood was dripping. "How did you even find me? I moved." "I'll always find my wife." "Wife? I'm not your wife." I barked. "Can we talk? Please?" I sighed. "I'm itching to say no but let's hear your excuse." I stepped back, dragging Shinosuke with me. I heard footsteps coming down. "What's all that noise?" Megumi asked. He looked at Toji. "You deadbeat bastard!" He said while rushing towards him. He punched him and then shoved him against the wall. "Hey!" I screamed. I rushed over and held Megumi back. "What is he doing here mom?" Megumi yelled. "I know you're pissed but lower your tone." I demanded. I heard more footsteps. "What the hell? He's here?!" Hoshiyomi asked. "Daddy!" Naoki screamed. I closed my eyes. "Megumi, take your siblings out of this room and entertain them with the divine dogs." I instructed. "Hoshiyomi, you go help." There was another knock on the door. Shinosuke answered the door. "Food's here." He announced. "Please serve the food. I'll be there in a minute." I said. "Call me if you need anything." Shinosuke reminded me. I nodded as he walked off. "So he called you mom." Toji announced. "Yeah I adopted him." I replied. "Good. I'm guessing the little girl is your daughter. She's beautiful. Looks entirely like you." I folded my arms. "She's yours." I said with venom. "I-we have a daughter?" He asked completely shocked. "Biologically speaking, yes. But you weren't there so she's mine. Now what do you want, deadbeat?" "You deserve an apology and an explanation." "So start talking." "Y/N..." he grabbed my hand. I snatched it back. "You don't get to touch me anymore." Toji closed his eyes. "I deserve that. I apologize for completely abandoning you, Megumi, Naoki and our daughter. I was a coward. My guilt got the best of me. I was afraid of taking it out on either of you. You didn't do anything wrong so I hope you never blamed yourself. I wasn't strong enough mentally as I thought I was. So I thought leaving would be the best option. Not a day goes by where I'm not thinking about you. I'm hoping we can start over but I know that's a long shot. I understand if you hate me and want to kill me right now. I deserve it all. I wished we never met so you could have met someone better than me and married. I don't deserve you at all but I'm glad you are a mother to all of them." He explained. "Naori is two years old. That's how long you've been gone. She doesn't know you at all. I'm surprised Naoki still remembers you. I don't hate you. Not anymore. I've grown past that. I just don't care for your existence. My seventeen year old son hates you. My nephew, hates you. My best friend, hates you. My niece, hates you. I spiraled downhill and went off the deep end. I almost put Naoki up for adoption but thankfully Shinosuke talked me out of it. I almost aborted Naori but I didn't have it in my heart to do so. She didn't ask to be created. And no matter what, I made sure I didn't take it out on my kids. Looking back now, I feel guilty for even thinking about putting my son up for adoption or aborting Naori. I've come a long way with the help of Shinosuke, Megumi and Hoshiyomi. Without them, I don't even know how I would survive. I was so disgusted by you. You've missed out on them walking. Again. You missed out on their first birthday again. You missed Naori's first words. You missed out on Naori discovering Megumi's Devine dogs. Yeah, she was born with the twelve eyes like me. Once again, you missed out on the milestones. You're a good for nothing deadbeat dad. You missed out on Megumi's celebration into becoming a third year grade one sorcerer. Every single day, Naoki was asking for you. Looking for you. "Where's daddy?" He'd ask me consistently. It finally died out but he still asks occasionally. That boy misses you like crazy. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to look him in the eyes when he asks for you? I couldn't lie to his face. So Megumi said we'll explained later when he's older and he distracted his mind by summoning his dogs. For months, I blamed myself for not looking for the signs of you being unhappy. Shinosuke had to drill it in my head nonstop, telling me it wasn't my fault. I was hurt and numb for a year." I said as I started tearing up. I started crying. I felt as Toji wrapped his arms around me. "I truly am sorry for putting you through all of that. You didn't deserve any of that. I failed as a husband and as a father yet again. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my family. If I knew leaving would've done more harm than good, I wouldn't have left." I shoved him off me. "You think a few apologies and explanations can just resolve everything? Like it's water under the bridge? It'll take a lot more than that. But don't bother trying because I don't need anything from you." I spat. Toji got on his knees and hugged my waist. "Baby, can we please start over? I cannot live without you. You're my world. I want to treasure you. I haven't had proper sleep in two years, knowing that you weren't beside me. I miss everything about you. Your beautiful face. Your smile. Your words. Your kisses. The way you walk. The way you talk. Walking away from you was the biggest mistake of my life. It shattered me. I'm not asking to be your husband. I don't deserve to be your husband. Can we be friends?" Toji begged. He was sobbing. Something he hasn't done since he first opened up to me about Megumi's birth mother. This was a different side of Toji. He was on his knees begging for me. "I don't want you in my life. At all." "Please Y/N! I want to make it up to you. All of you. I'll do whatever it takes." "You had it all Toji. You threw it all away like we were nothing." "That's not true. You all mean everything to me. I never stopped loving either of you. I didn't want to burden you with my personal problems." "You should've communicated with me and we could've gone through it together." "I-I know that now. I regret leaving. I regret not speaking with you on this. I'm an idiot. I'm worthless and I'm a deadbeat, I know that. I want to treat you like how you deserve to be treated. So please, don't go." He was beyond desperately begging now. "How do I know you won't run away again?" He looked up at me. His bloody nose dried up and his eyes were dark red from tears. "I know telling you I won't leave you is useless to say. I know you don't believe nor trust me and I respect that. But in my heart I know I will never leave you again. I'm willing to prove it to you." I sighed. "You're going to have work around the clock to earn my trust. I'm never getting back with you but I'm willing to co-parent with you. And if you leave again, I'll kill you." I warned. He stood up and hugged be tightly. "Thank you! You won't regret it Y/N." I kissed my forehead. I wiped off his kiss. "This doesn't mean we're getting back together. I have zero ounce of love for you. But in Naoki's eyes, you came back and I do not want to see him asking about you again." I reminded him. He closed his eyes and nodded. "Go upstairs and wash the blood off your face. And clean the blood off my floor." I followed him upstairs and I went straight to my room. I changed and put my bloody clothes in the washer. I headed into the dining room. "So?" Shinosuke asked. "We're not getting back together. But I'm willing to co parent with him. I told him if he leaves again, he's dying by my hands. Now Megumi, you are seventeen. It's your decision whether or not you want him in your life." I announced. "No. You're the only parent I need." I nodded. "I knew you would say something like that. And that's okay. Get your brother for me?" I asked as I picked up Naori. Megumi nodded and picked up Naoki. We headed into the living room. Toji was cleaning up the blood. He found my scarf and it was tied around his head. "Daddy!" Naoki was squrming in Megumi's arms. Toji stood up. He stepped closer to Megumi, who then backed up. "It's alright." I lowly said to Megumi. He was tense." I wrapped my arm around Megumi. He eased his posture. Megumi handed Naoki over. "Hey there son." He kissed Naoki's head, causing him to giggle. "I miss you!" Naoki said. "Come on, Naoki you have to finish your food." Megumi announced as he snatched Naoki back. "Okay!" He walked off. "He hates me. He really hates me." Toji stated, once Megumi was out of ear shot. "Can you blame him? You left again." "He wants me dead." I nodded in agreement. Naori was looking at Toji. "Hi Princess." Toji greeted. He reached out for her. She jerked and cling to me tighter. "She doesn't know you. She doesn't like strangers touching her." I informed him. Tears rolled down Toji's face. He was in shambles. "This is daddy." I lowly said to Naori." She looked up at me. I pointed at Toji. She looked at him. "Gumi!" She called. "Megumi. Can you get your sister?" I called. He came in and grabbed her. He never looked at Toji's direction. "Let's go finish lunch." He kissed her forehead and walked away. "I-I fucked up so bad. My own daughter doesn't know me at all. I didn't even know you were pregnant." "I was ovulating and I didn't know it. I didn't take anything until past three days after you left because I was so emotionally unstable." "I want to...I need to...I have to make it up to you. All of you." "Honestly I don't even know how you can recover from this. I don't even know if you're even emotionally stable now to not run again and to love them. I don't want to put them in harms way. I can't force Naori on you. If she adjusts to you, she does. And if she doesn't, she doesn't. The only father figure in her life is Shinosuke. And she has two older brothers who loves her to death. Not to mention her uncle Hoshiyomi and aunt Maki. She's good with or without you. Naoki is good as well but since his memory of you hasn't faded away, he'll occasionally ask of you. Maybe if you stayed away for another year or so, he'd forget all about you. Megumi damn sure doesn't need you. Never have and never will. And me, I don't need you. I thought I did, but I progressed. We all have a strong support system and we hold it down for each other. So I hope you find someone else to be your wife." "I don't want to marry anyone else. I want to earn your trust and your love. After my long journey, I'm more than ready to be the best father and husband." "You lack communication skills. You could never feel comfortable enough to come to me unless I basically force it out of you." "I know, I know. But I can communicate now. Especially with you. Listen. When I left, I so badly wanted to turn back. I could barely write that note without crying. When I kissed your forehead goodbye in your sleep, I couldn't deal with the pain in my heart. I didn't want to add more stress to your life. I didn't want you to deal with my problems because I couldn't get over my deceased wife. Or accept the fact that I abandoned my son. You're too good for me and all I knew was that you both deserved someone better. I was always happy with the both of you. But some sleepless nights, I couldn't get past that. My mind and heart was telling me it's wrong to love you and to be loved back by you. But the longer I was gone, the more I realized leaving you was the worst choice. My heart was shattered. The more I wanted to come back to you, the more I knew I hurt you. My old guilt faded away and new guilt arrived. That I shouldn't have left you. You're my one and only. The guilt of leaving you was so excruciating painful that I couldn't do anything physically. I wasn't just numb. It felt like I had daggers in my body and heart. I've never felt like that before. I was angry with myself. I couldn't even accept the fact that I walked away. It wasn't right. I kept losing more sleep. I lost more of my appetite. I lost the will to live. I couldn't see my future without you. I didn't have one. I even showed up to my house, but it was sold to another family. I went to your apartment but the concierge said you no longer lived there. I wanted to find you sooner but it was out of desperation and I wasn't mentally there. I convinced myself that you two were okay and safe. If only I had the strength to not leave you that night." Toji confessed. I stared at him, taking in his words. I let out a huge sigh. I didn't know what else to do. "I-I need to process this." I finally said. "I understand." Toji responded before leaving. He closed the door behind him. "I don't want you to get back with him." I jumped in response. I turned to see Megumi standing there. "H-how much did you hear?" "Everything. I couldn't help myself." "Megumi-" "Don't. He'll leave you again. He left my birth mother and left me when I was a baby. He left you and Naoki once. He will never understand the trauma we had to endure because of his absence." I pulled Megumi close to me. I pressed his head on my chest and hugged him tightly. "This is hurting you, I know." "It's not about me being hurt. It's about you. I hate seeing you in so much pain because of him." He looked up at me. "Do you still love him? Be honest." I nodded. "I do. A tiny part of me still do. I'm sorry." I apologized. "Please don't apologize. You can't help it. Just please be careful. And if you decide to take him back, I'm not against it. I want you happy." "You don't have to be so overprotective over me. If you don't want to see him ever again, I will make it happen. We'll explain to Naoki he went away for a while until he's old enough to understand all of this." "But will that make you happy? Is that what you want?" "I don't know what I want. I do know that I want to eat." "Your pizza's in the microwave." I followed Megumi into the dining room. "So?" Shinosuke asked. "Long story short, he gave me a thorough explanation on why he left. He's willing to communicate with me and be an active father." "And? Do you trust him?" "Of course not. Actions speak louder than words. He's going to have to try extra hard with Naori. She wouldn't let him touch her. All she wanted was her big brother. That really broke him." "It's what he deserves. He's the one who chose to walk away." Shinosuke pointed out. "You do have a point there." Megumi came back and set my plate down. "Thanks." "Naoki and Naori are asleep." Megumi said. I smiled. "You're such an amazing brother. Thank you all honestly for your help. I couldn't do this without you guys. Honestly." "Come on now Y/N. We're family. Of course we'll be there for you." Shinosuke responded. I sat down and started eating.
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Do you guys like that Megumi finally came around and is being a wonderful son?