Sentiment of a Witness

𝙻𝚞𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜

Jupiter shrugged again before looking over at me with his mischievous smile and shimmer in his eyes, "you're in Nevermoor now, Jackie – anything is possible."

I returned Jupiter's grin before looking back out over the ocean. The sun was getting dangerously low to the horizon, meaning that we should start heading back in order to keep the peace with Fen, who had given Jupiter strict instructions to not be out after sundown.

Jupiter seemed to read my mind as he stood up and offered me his hand, which I took reluctantly as I stood up.

"Right, let's head home – you don't want to see Fen when she's mad."

Oh no, I certainly didn't – and still don't. If I was asked to name my biggest fear, I'd say Fen with no hesitation. Or spiders. Spiders are also quite terrifying.

The night air was cool and refreshing as we walked through the cobble-stoned streets of Nevermoor. This city would never grow old nor boring to me. There was always something going on, always something new to do or see, always new people to meet, and always new places to see – much like the Hotel Deucalion.

We made it back to the hotel just before the sun fully set and were greeted with a surprised yet amused looking Magnificat. Or maybe it was annoyance – it's hard to tell when her face is covered in fur, and her eyes always reads the same 'leave me alone' expression.

We ate dinner in silence. Well, we sat and ate in silence while Frank rambled on about tomorrow night's party. It would be my first of many parties at the Hotel Deucalion, and I was unsure how I felt about it. Growing up in a secluded forest definitely had its downsides – no social interactions being the biggest. As I may have previously mentioned, I did not have friends my age, or any friends for that matter – I only knew the people inside my household, and at the time, that was enough.

After dinner, I went up to my room to get ready for bed and read a bit before heading off to sleep. I was brushing my teeth when I felt a sharp pain in my head. It felt like someone was stabbing a spear through my right temple and out of my left. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I found that vision had been filled with a cold grey haze, almost like smoke. Yet there was no scent of smoke nor any burning orange blaze of a fire. It seemed to be more of a brewing storm cloud than smoke as it lit up with flashes of blood red and deep purple with the occasional sad blue.

I looked back to the mirror and dropped my toothbrush. There were hundreds of bright lights surrounding me. Green leaves flew slowly around me, and I could see little red cuts on my feet. There were words in a tiny print covering my hands, many of which were crossed out and a pink-tinged handprint fading on my left cheek. But the thing that startled me the most was the beginning of a line of stitching on my heart.

It scared me.

Seeing myself through the Gossamer was something I hadn't done much and still don't do that often, for this exact reason. It was confronting and confusing. It was like having someone tell you how you feel and what you've been through without knowing why or how. Everything I have ever tried to forget is there on the Gossamer. There to remind me and show others like me just what I've been through to become the person I am today.

There's a lot I'm not proud of, ashamed of even, but I suppose I have some good memories, even if they tend to fade quicker than the bad ones.

Written: 3 September, 2021

Published: 3 September, 2021

I swear this chapter wasn't supposed to get so sad. It was supposed to be a happy chapter... I don't know what happened ;-;. 

But I hope you enjoyed it anyway! I don't actually know symptoms of being a Witness or how Witnesses experience their knack because, well, we haven't exactly been told - I'm just going off the books and adding in my own thoughts and ideas (books are supposed to be open for interpretation!). I imagine it to be a bit like Lam and her knack as an Oracle with headaches and maybe some days where you can't see through the Gossamer? I don't know, but I hope it is making sense! Thanks for reading! :D