His Sweetness Turned into Coldness (Kim Myungsoo)

6. Why Him and Not Me?

I open my eyes. It was blurry, seeing that it was bright and sunny already. Someone's head blocked the light and looked down at me. My vision became a little more clearer. It was SungKyu's mom. She looked very worried. Her eyes were red and watery. Her tears dropped on my face. She sat down at the side of the bed. She grabbed my hands and said: "Yoo.....In, are you okay?" Her voice was trembling and she kept sniffing. I answered her: "Oh....I am..... Where's Sungkyu?" She turned away and looked at his dad. She turned back and nod a 'no' to me.

My eyes begin to water up. The tear was at the very verge of my eye already. I sucked it up but it was hopeless. I begin to cry. A loud and painful cry. She hugged me tightly. Her hand brushing my hair softly and lightly. I cried and cried until I gave up and decide to go and look at SungKyu.

They wheeled me to a room where Sungkyu was. There he was. Covered up and his eyes closed. I got up from the wheelchair. I moved the cover down a little to where his shoulders were only. I begin to cry. I murmured his name. Saying painful things to myself. Putting my hands on his hair and back to his face. I just wished that if he only opened his eyes then this wouldn't be happening right now.

I cried. Touching his face over and over again. I saw the ring. The ring he proposed to me. I looked at it. I wondered to myself "Sungkyu, what are you doing right now? What do you think Woohyun will think? Woohyun and you. Infinite V. Infinite V won't be debuting if you don't comeback. Please..." My voice trembled and faded away. WooHyun came running through the door. He looked at me. His eyes too were red and watery. His mouth shaking. He couldn't say a word. He then begins talking: "Sungkyu hyung, why are you here? You're supposed to be in the recording room right now! Not here in the hospital lying down with your eyes closed! Wake up please! Wake up! Please! Please......." I hugged Woohyun. Hugging him tightly. He felt the same way I felt.

I got discharged from the hospital. They said Sungkyu will be in the hospital for not a long time because we'll be doing his funeral. I looked back, back at the hospital and thinking of SungGyu. His mom told me to call her mother. She said it was fine. She'll accept me as his wife even if he's dead. She likes and loves me a lot. I met his family a couple times already. She said she doesn't want me living by myself anymore but to live with them. I moved out of my apartment and lived with Sunggyu's family.

After a few days from me moving into his house, we did his funeral. Lots of people came. Family, friends, and fans from all over the world came. The fans thanked me for taking a really good care of him. They knew he was dating but they didn't care cause he was old enough to date and do what he wants. They cared more about when is Woohyun dating. Many people gave me gifts. The gifts to me weren't gifts but pains. All the gifts mostly were Sunggyu.

After everyone left, I was alone. Alone and quiet. Holding many gifts in my hands. Driving home with his parent was fine. I told Mother that I'll be sleeping and that I won't be taking a shower since I'm too tired. There I lay on the bed. Looking at my phone with Sunggyu and me as my wallpaper. His smile, the best thing of him. I deleted his phone number but left his text messages. The last message was the message of him telling me a goodnight when we were at the trip. I viewed through our messages. When I got to the very top of our first text messages, I said to myself. "Why him and not me?"