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Chapter 15: Ruined

Slight smut / continuing where we left off

Josh gently laid you down on the bed. He planted a kiss on your forehead, then your nose, and then your chin. He moved down your body slowly, kissing your chest, your stomach and then your thighs. Watching him with his head in between your legs was one of the most beautiful things you'd ever witnessed. He wrapped his arms underneath your legs and pulled you closer to him, looking up at you he said "Are you ready?" You were more than ready. You needed him. You bit your lip and nodded, grabbing his hair with both hands. He licked a stripe up your heat, and stopped at your clit, softy flicking it with his tongue. Then he reached around you and grabbed a pillow, gently scooting it underneath your back side. You pushed yourself into his face and he let out a moan of approval. He began sucking on your clit as he slid two fingers into you. He was so gentle, just enough stimulation to make you squirm, but not enough to make you cum. You needed more. "Please Josh, please" you begged. He knew what he was doing to you. Upon hearing your desperation, he went even softer. Barely touching his tongue to you at all, but still slowly pumping his fingers in and out of you. You began moving your hips up and down on his tongue, and he let you, squeezing your thighs. Josh was letting out breathy sighs and moans as you rubbed yourself against his face. You could feel it, you were getting close so you picked up your pace. Once Josh could tell just how close you were, he abruptly pulled back and clumsily climbed on top of you. He was clearly excited. He leaned down to kiss you and you could taste yourself on him. It was so hot how wet his mouth still was from what he had just done to you. He pushed into you as deep as he could go and let out an elongated "ahhh, fuck" as he tilted his head back. He started thrusting, fast but deep. You felt yourself tighten around him, still close from before. He brought a hand up and put it gently around your throat before squeezing "cum for me" he instructed as he began fucking you even harder, sweat dripping from his curls. Your vision started getting hazy, and your breathing was uneven. You grabbed his hips as you came "Ahh, oh my god Jake!". Josh pulled out of you immediately and leaned back "Jake huh?" Fuck. You were so caught up in that feeling of pure ecstasy, and Jakes sex was so addicting and entrancing that you must have been subconsciously thinking of him. "I'm so sorry Josh... I really don't know why I did that." Josh stood up and slowly started getting dressed, as you laid there naked still, feeling vulnerable and like a complete ass. Josh walked over to his patio door and lit a cigarette. "Maybe because you love him." He pointed out. You felt your throat tighten and your stomach sink as you realized what a huge mistake you had made. You wanted to throw up. You got up and dressed yourself as quickly as you could. "Josh, I don't know what to do. This was a mistake." You said as you grabbed a cigarette from his pack. "You're telling me." Josh replied in a hushed tone. That hurt more than it should have. You and Josh finished your smokes in silence, both just staring at the night sky. You made your way to the door, preparing yourself to go lay back down next to the man you just betrayed, but Josh stopped you "Can I please just have one last hug?". He sounded genuinely crushed. You gave him a compassionate look as you walked over and wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could. He buried his face into your neck and breathed you in. "I know you love Jake, and I do too... but I'm really gonna miss you" his voice was so sincere. You softy kissed his cheek "I'll miss you too, Josh" you whispered.

You slowly opened the door to Jakes room and were immediately met with the sound of his snoring. You stared at him for a moment, peacefully sleeping, and beautifully illuminated by moonlight. You gently laid down next to him, careful not to wake him. How were you going to tell him what you had done? You rolled over, deciding you couldn't face him tonight, and did your best to fall asleep. You knew you were going to need it, tomorrow was going to be hell.

When you woke up Jake was gone, and you figured he was downstairs with the boys, so you hopped in the shower. While you were rinsing off you tried to come up with a script in your head, but what could you possibly say. "Coffee!" Jakes voice echoed through the bathroom. You opened the shower curtain and saw him setting your coffee on the counter. Of course he's being extra sweet today. You finished rinsing off, got out and dried yourself off. You pulled a t-shirt dress over your head, grabbed your coffee and bravely walked out into the bedroom. Jake was sitting on the bed, playing his acoustic. "Jake, I need to talk to you." Your voice was already trembling. He had a puzzled look on his face as he gently set his guitar back on its stand "okay?". You walked over and sat on the bed across from him. "I don't know where to start." You knew you were making this harder on both of you by not just spitting it out. "Try the beginning" Jake said, half joking. You took a deep breath in and let it out in a long sigh. Here goes. "I went to Josh's room last night." Jake didn't move a muscle at that, no reaction whatsoever. You continued "I don't know why I did it and I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I'm sorry Jake..." you felt your cheeks get hot, you were embarrassed. "You fucked my brother again?" He asked in a dry tone. "No.. well yes but only for a second. We stopped." You realized it sounded like you were defending your actions and you immediately tried to back track "Jake it was a huge mistake and I don't know how to fix it. Please tell me how I can fix this" you pleaded. Jake stood up and walked over to the door "You can't" he said before walking out.

You cried for hours straight. You just lost the love of your life for what? Because you wanted to fuck somebody you couldn't have. A light knock on your door startled you out of your half asleep state. "Come in." The door opened halfway and Sam popped his head in "Can we talk?" He asked. "Of course, yeah." You gestured for him to come in. "Mind if I smoke?" You asked him. You had a feeling you were going to need it. Sam shook his head and followed you to the patio. Once you lit your smoke and settled into a chair Sam began, "Look, I don't know the ins and outs of your guys' relationship... all 3 of you... but something has to change. I respected you, we all did, but you ruined Jake." Respected, past tense, ouch. You looked down at your feet taking another drag of your cigarette. "He's really fucking upset." Sam was beginning to sound angry. "Where is he?" You asked. Sam thought a moment before responding "With Hannah". You felt your chest tighten and you could barely breathe. He was with his ex?