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Chapter 36 - Pretend

You weren't able to fall asleep, you just tossed and turned next to Josh. You eventually heard the chirping of birds, meaning it was finally time to end end your pointless battle with insomnia. You rolled out of bed, trying to remain as quiet as possible, but Josh woke up anyway. "Mmm" he grunted "Baby, where are you going?" he asked. You began to strip down, preparing to change your outfit "I was gonna go get some coffee." you said, slipping into your jeans. Josh smiled as his eyes shot up and down over your body "Mmkay. I love you." he said reaching his puckered lips out to you. You leaned down to kiss him "I'll be right back." You walked down to the lobby and grabbed a cup of their mediocre hotel coffee. It even smelled mediocre. You dumped two creams and two sugars into it, hoping that would save it, but it didn't. You placed a lid tight on the cup and made your way to the area of the lobby where the couches were. You pulled your phone out and stared at your contacts for a moment. With your breath wavering and your hands shaking, you clicked on Jake's name. The phone rang for what felt like forever when finally you heard his low voice, hushed on the other end. "Hello?" he said. He was clearly trying to be quiet, which stung. "I think we need to talk." You said, hoping to meet up with him. "So talk" he said, his voice completely devoid of compassion. You could feel a lump beginning to form in your throat as you tried to think of what to say. You didn't really have a plan when you called him, but you knew you needed to. Or maybe you just wanted to. "I really think we need to get together and talk about everything, please." You pleaded with him. "You made your decision, and I made mine. What's there to talk about?" You began to feel sick to your stomach. "What? What decision did you make, Jake?" You asked him, tears beginning to well in your eyes. "Look, I have to go" he said before hanging up on you. You felt like you couldn't be mad, he was right, you did make your decision. You just left him there, how could you really blame him?
You pulled yourself together just enough to grab another coffee for Josh and head back to your room. You carefully balanced both cups in one hand as you unlocked the door with the other. Josh was sitting on the edge of the bed, playing his acoustic. He looked up at you excitedly and with wide eyes "I'm working on your song" he said. You smiled at him as you handed him his coffee, which he eagerly grabbed from you. "Thank you baby." He said "Are you doing okay?" Shit, it looks like you didn't pull yourself together enough to fool him. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just tired, I didn't sleep all that well last night." Josh's phone began buzzing on the side table. You peered over at it but you were unable to make out the name of the caller. "Hello?" Josh answered. He stood up and held a finger up towards you, asking you to give him a minute. He stepped outside onto the back balcony and continued his conversation. You couldn't pin point what his facial expressions meant. He didn't look sad, he didn't look angry, he didn't look concerned, but he also didn't look happy. 'Maybe it's someone from the label' you thought, taking another drink of your coffee. Josh came back inside and took a deep breath "That was Jake.." he said. You nodded, nervous "What did he say?" you asked. Josh scratched the back of his head and sat down next to you. He gently placed a hand on your knee and stared sympathetically into your eyes, not saying anything. "Josh, what did he say?" You asked again, nervous by his reaction. "He doesn't want to see you anymore. He asked me not to bring you to practices or recordings anymore.." Josh said, biting the inside of his bottom lip, and no longer making eye contact with you. It felt like someone had just shoved a dagger into your chest. Everything was becoming more real and more concrete. You never could have prepared yourself to hear something like that. Josh sat in silence next to you, probably unsure of what he could possibly say at a time like this. "If that's what he really wants, than that's what we should do." You couldn't believe those words just came out of your mouth. Josh nodded in agreement as he set his coffee down and turned to you. "What do YOU want?" He asked sincerely. "You" you said without skipping a beat. You weren't lying. You wanted someone who wanted you back. You wanted someone you could trust. You wanted all of the things that Josh had to offer. It was time to let go of Jake and you knew that.

A few days had passed by and you and Josh were doing really well. A lot of music, a lot sex, and a lot of love. Today was a lonely one though, Josh was out at band practice with the boys. You stayed behind, respecting Jake's wishes, although you couldn't help but wonder if Josh's ex girlfriend was there. You made yourself a cocktail, determined to drink away your pain. You had never felt so alone. There was a knock at the door and you hesitantly stood up, not having any idea who it would be. You slowly opened the door to find Ronnie. You hadn't seen their sister Ronnie in a couple years and were surprised she was in town. Nobody had told you that. "Hi, oh my god how are you?!" She pulled you into a hug. "Sorry, I was just looking for Josh" she was scrambling through some papers she had pulled of her pocket "is this not his room?" she asked, looking around "Sam said this was his room." You didn't know what to say. Did the boys not tell her anything yet? She would probably be confused as to why you were in Josh's room if she didn't know what happened, and you didn't want to start drama. You just avoided the question altogether. "They're all at band practice" you said. "Oh, okay, well I'll just wait with you." She said cheerfully, winking at you and stepping into the hotel room. She waltzed over to the mini fridge and pulled out a couple beers. "That was a long ass flight and I need to let loose. You want one?" She asked handing you a beer. You gladly accepted, tapping your bottle against hers. "Glad you got here safe." You said. Ronnie sunk herself into an arm chair letting out a heavy and exhausted sigh "I'm excited for the party tonight. I can't wait to meet Josh's new girlfriend!" She said. Your heart felt like it was trying to jump out through your mouth and you audibly gulped. Then like a guardian angel sent from heaven to save the day, Josh swung open the door. "RONNIE!" He yelled, tackling her with a hug. She giggled and hugged him back. "Where's Jake? Is this his room or yours?" Ronnie asked. You had never seen Josh so quick to answer before "Oh yeah, this is his room, he's coming. I just stopped by to grab my guitar." He picked up his acoustic. "I'll see you at the party in a couple hours. I'm gonna go shower." Ronnie nodded and smiled at Josh as he walked right past you, leaving you and Ronnie alone in his room. 'What the fuck was that?' you thought. Moments later Jake walked in holding a beer "Hey! So glad you made it!" Jake exclaimed, pulling his sister into a hug. Jake then turned to you and wrapped his arms around you for a brief but tight hug. Ronnie probably read the look on your face because she narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side "Are you okay?" She asked you. "Yeah, I'm just really confused." You said, looking directly at Jake. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Jake asked, grabbing your wrist. "Yes please" you said, following him outside to the balcony. As soon as he shut the door you freaked out, you couldn't help it. "Jake, what the f-" Jake stopped you. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We didn't have time. Can you please play it cool for one more night. My girlfriend has already agreed to do this. Please just play along." You scoffed "oh, your girlfriend??". Jake groaned "Pleaseeee" he begged you. "Why can't you tell your sister the truth? What's the big deal?" You pushed. Jake shook his head "It's complicated. I'm sure Josh will tell you about it later, but for now please pretend to be my girlfriend for the night. Please." You looked into his eyes "My pleasure" you said, determined to make this harder for him than it would be for you. Why not? What could possibly go wrong?