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Chapter 18 - Love x2

You stood on the patio to your upstairs room looking over the backyard. The moon illuminating the grass. Watching the boys chug their beers and attempt to do cartwheels was always a good time. You loved seeing them play, so sweet and innocent. Jake nailed a cartwheel and said "See Sammy! That's how you do it." You giggled and took another drag of your cigarette. "Okay well it's not that easy. Can you do a cartwheel??" Sam looked up at you. "I actually can, sorry Sammy." You teased him. "Fine" he mumbled and then attempted another cartwheel, failing miserably. Jake just tossed his head back in laughter. You put your smoke out, taking one last look at the boys before heading downstairs. As you made your way to the staircase you were met with Josh "Oh, sorry excuse me" you said trying to squeeze past him. "Hey, actually... I've been meaning to ask you if we could talk." Josh's face was more serious than you'd ever seen it. "Yeah absolutely, let me go grab Jake and we'll meet you on the back patio, yeah?" You knew that wasn't what he meant but you were done spending any alone time with Josh. "I meant just you and I..." he said, disappointedly. You looked down at the ground, avoiding his gaze "Josh, you know that's not a good idea." Your tone was distant and almost cold. Josh looked down at his feet and nodded in agreement. "You're right, I'm sorry" he said softly as he walked away from you and into his room. You finished making your way downstairs and into the kitchen, opening the always stocked fridge for a beer. You grabbed a corona and headed out back. As soon as you opened the sliding glass door to the yard Jakes face lit up and he yelled "GUYS LOOK, THATS MY WOMAN!" He was clearly drunk, and yelling in his best Oliver Reed voice, but it was flattering none the less that he was so excited to see you. He stumbled over to you and wrapped you in a tight hug, the smell of beer and cigarettes on his breath. Jake in the moonlight, smiling at you and being genuinely happy was such a beautiful sight. "Oh! Baby, you have to watch this!" Jake slurred his words as he ran over to Sam and helped him with a cartwheel. "He needs a little assistance but look at him! He did it" Jake was so excited for this new accomplishment. You giggled and winked "Good job Sammy, I knew you could do it." Sam saluted you. You sat down on the porch swing and watched the boys play around for a little bit longer, but you just couldn't stop thinking about Josh. You felt like you needed to clear the air and set things straight once and for all. You knew you would have to see Josh every single day you were with Jake and you guys couldn't afford to let it be weird. For your sake, for the twins sake, and for the bands sake. You wiggled your finger at Jake motioning for him to come over to you, which he did. "You rang?" Jake smirked at you. "Jake, can we please go talk to Josh? Can we just get this whole thing sorted out?" You gave him a hopeful look. "You guys didn't talk upstairs?" Jake asked you, sounding surprised. "No?" You said, confused. "Josh told me he would talk to you about it. But if you want all three of us to talk we can do that too." Jake gave you a genuine smile. You leaned forward placing your hand gently on Jakes cheek and kissed him as sweetly as you could. You stood up and began making your way back inside, Jake not far behind you. "I'll be back boys!" Jake yelled back to Sam and Danny. Once you got upstairs he knocked on the door to Josh's room. "Yeah, come in!" Josh shouted towards the door. Jake waltzed in and straight over to the mini fridge next to Josh's bed. He opened it and pulled out a bottle of Tequila. "Just help yourself" Josh said, half joking. You were so uncomfortable in this moment, unsure whether to sit or stand, and unsure where you would even sit if you decided to. "So, let's talk shall we." Josh started. You looked over at Jake who was already looking at you "It's okay" he reassured you. You took a deep breath as Josh began. "There is nothing you could ever do that would break us apart. Jake and I are one in the same. A package deal if you will." You peered at Jake who was nodding in agreement. "The way things went down is our bad. And we're really sorry, the last thing we would ever want is for you to be uncomfortable." Josh continued. Well this isn't the way you thought this conversation was going to go. Jake opened his mouth to speak "Baby, I love you. We all do. And we are ready to move on." He took a swig of tequila and passed the bottle to Josh, both of them now staring at you, waiting for your response. You were feeling a little buzzed and couldn't help yourself, the words just flew out "So everything that happened between us meant nothing to you guys?? You're ready to get over it and move on, just like that?" You asked, feeling a little hurt. Josh immediately responded "Jake knows how I feel about you. And I'm well aware that you're off limits. So there's not much I can do here, but what I can tell you is that those nights did not mean nothing to me." Josh looked away from you and down at his feet. Jake shot his brother a sympathetic look. Even in this moment he was concerned for Josh's feelings. Their love was undeniable. "We can be friends still right?" You asked as you walked up to Josh gesturing for a hug. "Of course." He answered as he wrapped his arms around you for a brief but tight hug. "Alright then, problem solved. We can move on now, yeah?" Jake asked. You both nodded your heads up and down with fake smiles plastered to your faces. Josh's cheeks grew red as he turned to Jake "Can I please have a moment with her?". Jake looked at his brother with understanding eyes and nodded, then he kissed your forehead and whispered "I love you" before going back downstairs, leaving you and Josh alone in his room once again. This moment was one you were trying to avoid but you knew it was probably inevitable, and you had to admit you were curious what Josh had to say. He stepped over to the balcony, lighting a cigarette and taking a deep breath, preparing himself. You stood where you were, feeling frozen. "I love you. I will always love you..." he paused for a moment "I just needed to get that out before I never had the chance to again." Your whole body was overcome with goosebumps. You felt sick, sad, and flattered all at the same time. "Josh I-" he cut you off "Please don't say anything. I just needed you to know that." You smiled at Josh and nodded. "I love Jake more than I can even explain. I'm sorry Josh." You said as you exited his bedroom and softly shut the door behind you. You were surprised to see Jake standing right outside the door, so close in fact that you nearly hit him with the door. "Thank you..." he said with tears in his eyes. You knew he was listening to you guys, but you weren't mad. "You're everything to me Jakey." You reassured him. He pulled you into a warm embrace and you felt your entire body relax. Jake was your home. Your peace. Your comfort. You knew at that moment, with the way he was holding you, that the two of you had solidified your love. Nothing would break you apart ever again.