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Chapter 33 - Choose

"Now can I get us some much needed refreshments?" Jake suggested, walking over to the fridge. "You need a refill anyways. Sorry about that" you said gesturing to the broken glass. Jake narrowed his eyes at you, remembering what had just happened "Oh, but you were so worth it." Jake made two cocktails and handed one to you. Jake opened the sliding glass door to the back yard "you want a fire?" he asked you, sweetly. You nodded "That would be perfect right now." You sat in a lawn chair and crossed your legs, getting comfortable and pulling a red flannel blanket over your lap. You watched as Jake began to build a fire. "So you really don't want to swap anymore?" You asked, feeling the need to get everything set in stone. Jake set another log on the fire and in a very matter of fact tone he said "No. I just want you." You felt relieved by that answer, but also scared. You loved Jake, but you had feelings for Josh that you absolutely could not deny. You caught yourself zoning out, just staring at the fire. Jake walked up to you, and knelt down in front of you, grabbing your thighs "Hey... what do you want to do baby?" You gave Jake a sympathetic look as tears pooled in your eyes "I don't know.." you said. Jake hung his head in defeat "What do you mean you don't know?" he whispered. You looked back to the fire "I'm sorry Jake, I just really don't know." Jake quickly stood up and walked over to the fire, poking it with a stick "Am I not enough?". Your heart sank, the last thing you wanted was to make Jake feel like he wasn't enough. Before you could respond the glass door opened and a very clearly drunk Josh stumbled out. "Josh? What are you doing here?" Jake asked his brother with a look of pure confusion plastered on his face. "Are you okay??" You asked Josh as you watched him trip three times on his way over to you. Josh pointed to Jake and said "I'm sorry dude" before falling to his knees in front of you. "I love you." He said, reaching for your hands. You pulled back slightly and looked at Jake, raising your eyebrows and shrugging. Jake stepped over to Josh "What the fuck are you doing?". Josh put his finger up to Jake, gesturing for him to stop talking, but never breaking eye contact with you. "I know you love me too." Josh began "I can't hide it anymore. I need you. You should be mine, and I know you feel it." Tears fell from Josh's eyes. "Please" he begged you. You had never seen Josh like this and you just wanted to wrap your arms around him and tell him you felt the same. You did feel the same, and in this moment you knew it more than ever before. You placed your hand on Josh's cheek "Josh I-". Jake pulled Josh back by the collar of his shirt, and Josh fell onto his butt. "I said what the FUCK are you doing?" Josh just sank his head into his hands and began sobbing. Like full on sobbing. Your heart was breaking in two. Jake looked at you in disbelief "It looks like you have a decision to make, don't you?" You stood up from your seat "I can't do this" you said as you quickly made your way inside, heading upstairs and into the spare bedroom. You needed a minute to refocus, to think about what you really wanted. You collapsed onto the bed and started crying into the pillow. You felt so torn. How could you be so in love with two different men? You cried it out for about ten minutes before getting out of bed and grabbing a bottle of tequila from the fridge, chugging it until you almost puked. You let the alcohol sink into your tummy, warming you up. Finally you knew what you needed to do. You slowly opened the bedroom door, and leaned your ear towards the downstairs, but you couldn't hear anything. No noises at all. You carefully turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs to see Jake calmly sipping a cocktail at the island. It was definitely a vodka cran.... With lime. You immediately felt sick to your stomach. "Where's Josh?" You asked, concerned. "He left." Jake said stoically. "What?! You let him drive like that?!" You freaked out on Jake, you couldn't stop yourself. Jake didn't react to your aggression at all. He just calmly took another sip. "Jake, you let him drive!?" You repeated yourself. Jake looked over at you "I'm not his mother." You scoffed at his arrogance "What the fuck, Jake?" He didn't react to that either. He just kept sipping. "So, who do you choose?" Jake asked you. You could tell this cool demeanor was just an act. "Jake, I need to talk to Josh. We need to make sure he's okay." You pulled out your phone and stepped out back, calling Josh. Thankfully he answered, still slurring his words "Hello?". You could hear that he was driving. "Josh! What the fuck are you doing driving??" Josh was silent. "Josh please, I need you to be safe." Josh laughed "What do you care?." You started crying again, wishing you could just pull Josh from that car and hold him in your arms. You had to keep him safe.

"Josh I love you.... I choose you."

You heard the crackle of a leaf beneath a foot, and turned to see Jake staring at you, face contorted in sorrow.