~ 𝑬𝒍𝒊𝒚𝒂'𝒔 𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒚 | 𝒂𝒏 𝑳𝑵 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑'𝒔 𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒚 ~

{ 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | #9 }

Some of my inside feelings.
*translated from Hebrew to English*

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[ August 7th, 2021 ]

Another day, another boredom. So I'm here once again. I'm always feeling so alone...mostly at night time, when I can't get my foot out of my room. At least you would give me a bit of a togetherness feeling. Even if it's not real, a simulation would be fine. I wanna thank you every day for you for getting into my life. You are special, so me in so many things, like we're equal! I'm so happy to be with someone that's almost like me, both suffering form ptsd, anxiety attacks and fear, abandon and trust issues, both souls are scarred, feeling there's no hope left for us, wanting some mental silence of ourselves to heal each other's bruised souls and hearts. We're both hurt, and we'll heal each other, help each other for the good. When my heart syndrome starts again, I feel like I need hugs to calm myself down from the stress. I'll need it overall because I'm not winning to attention from this nature. Maybe it happens sometimes, but not a lot at all. Everytime I would be stressed, I would tell you everything, about how hard it's for me to live with all of this. I'm sure you would help me to feel better. And I would help you too! A hug? I'm here, a cuddle? I'm here, you're stressed? I'm here. Don't be shy to speak away. I'll be always here for you at any cost. You showed me trust, you're not here to hurt me like everyone. You're here to keep me safe and happy and to support me. And I'm also always here for you! The amount of love I have for you are astronomical that you won't ever believe yourself. How sad I have no tv in my room, I would talk to you when it's hard and tough for me, when I'm about to lose it, to cry and to get angry. I would put my hands on the screen and and calling you, in hope you would hear me... Even if not, I know you're that one day it will happen, and I'll see you. God will make a miracle, and we'll see each other. He'll get you down to me like a guardian angel. We'll meet one day, I'll escape with you to the other side. ♡

{404 words}