Inverted Bliss (The other side of love) HIATUS

17th Chapter part 2: I love you

17th Chapter part 2 : I love you

Zia's POV

After Louie drove me home I immediately run towards my room. I'm not sure if Daryl's at home or not but I don't want to risk the chance of him seeing me at this state. I know I looked like a mess and I don't want any interrogation from him right now.

I was about to open the door to my room when someone grabbed my arm and spun me around. I was stunned to see Hans' face a few inches from me.

" W-what are y-you doing? " I asked while trying to removed my arm from his grip.

He tightened his hold on my arm and stared at me in gritted teeth.

" Why are you so stupid?! " he almost growled in my face.

I was taken aback by the irk that I'm seeing on his face. I wasn't aware if I did something to piss him this way.

He let go of my arm and brushed his hand across his face harshly. He looked so tensed.

He stared at me again as if I'm a specimen he's trying to figure out.

" You are working for his wife? "

I felt as if a cold water was splashed unto me. He doesn't need to elaborate his question because I knew right there and then what he's talking about.

" You really love him that much, huh? " he asked again. There was an edge on his voice as if it was very hard for him to ask that question.

I took a deep breath before I answered, " I don't want to talk about this. "

I don't know how he learned everything about me and Arjel. And right now I don't really care at all. I'm too hurt to even figure that out. I just want to hit the bed and pour my heart out until my eyes run out of tears.

" He was the reason why you rejected me before, right? " bitterness laced his voice.

He was referring to his attempt to court me before which I requested him to stop. I just don't want to give him false hopes because I can't reciprocate his feelings. It would be unfair to him if I'm in love with someone else yet I'm letting him continue to pursue me.

" Hans, please. " I said almost pleading.

He expelled a heavy breath as if he's having a hard time, " Zia, don't do this to yourself. He's just a f*ckin' asshole who will drop you once he's done with you. "

His words stung but there's nothing I can do. I can't just lift this feelings out of my system and move on. Love is not that simple. It was too complicated that despite the pain you will still choose to stay. Why? Just because you're inlove and no other words would be enough to explain the reason why.

When he realized that there was nothing he can do to change my mind nor to let me speak he turned his back and left without another word.

I entered my room and slumped on my bed feeling so helpless.

Why is it a single picture can shatter a million dreams and crushed a thousand memories?

I dropped myself on the bed and cry silently. I've been crying for hours now. Before I left Love's unit I was already pouring my heart out but still my eyes were able to produce tears that I no longer know where it's coming from.

I don't know how long I cried but when finally my eyes got tired I still felt miserable. I thought crying can lighten up your feelings but why I still feel the same?

I was staring blankly at the ceiling when I heard my phone rang. I absentmindedly reached for my phone inside my clutch bag beside me.

I was about to answer the call but I stopped when I saw the name that flashed on the screen. I stared at it until it stops but a few seconds later it rang again.

It's him.

I wanted to slap myself for still getting excited with the thought of hearing his voice again. But can I really talk to him without breaking down?

On the second ring I decided to answer it.

" H-hello? " I answered in a shaky and husky voice.

" Hey .. "

Gosh! Just a simple word and I felt my pain ebbing away.

" Are you alright? " he asked when he heard no response from me.

I cleared my throat but I couldn't open my mouth to speak. I don't know what to say. Should I confront him? What if he realized that he's really not inlove with me and in fact he's still drawn to his wife? Where would that leave me?

" Sweetheart .. "

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from trembling. Tears started to form from my eyes again.

" L-let's talk s-some other time. "

I waited for his response but I heard none. Silence washed over us that if not for his uneven breathing I would think that he already dropped the call.

" Perhaps you forgot this day. " sadness and disappointment laced his voice.

" W-what -- " my free hand went up to my lips when I remembered.

Sheez! It's our anniversary today!

" Maybe you're upset because I haven't talked to you for a couple of days now but I was just trying to speed up my work here so I could return to you as soon as possible. " I heard him sucked his breath. " I just want to greet you a happy anniversary. I love you so much, Zia. " and with that he ended the call.

I stared at my phone incredulously. What the heck just happened?

I was just looking at my phone stupidly when I realized that I should call him. But I was torn between my guilt because I forgot our anniversary and the pain I felt when I saw their picture together.

But my guilt overrode the other feeling. I felt how sad he was when he greeted me.

I took a deep breath and dialled his number again. Two rings before he picked up the phone.

" I'm sorry. " I said as soon as he answered.

" Zia .. "

I almost gasp when he said my name. It was full of sadness. I want to wipe that off but how can I do that if I'm feeling the same?

" I love you. " I said softly and sincerely.

I really love him that despite what I saw earlier I can't still force myself to be mad at him.

I heard him cursed on the other line before he turned to me again, " Sweetheart, I love you so much. Don't be mad at me please. " there was a frantic pleading from his voice.

" I-I'm not mad. "

I don't have the strength to discuss to him the pictures. As much as possible I don't want to discuss our issue while he is from miles away. We'll deal with that as soon as he get back. Right now I would not wallow in self pity nor the misery of overthinking. I need to be strong for us while he's away.

We just talked and talked and if not for the dinner meeting that he will attend we won't end the conversation. It seems like he wasn't aware that his wife is planning for a big anniversary party for them. And I couldn't say it to him either because I don't want him to engage on a conversation that involves his wife.

I'm still hurting, yes. But I slept that night with a smile on my face because I heard him again say how much he loves me ..

to be continued ..

A/N: more typos and grammatical errors everywhere ..

Ugh .. I wonder why my heart is aching right now .. as in literally .. it hurts!

and why the heck the whole ud is in English?? O__o