stuck || skins uk

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟑

The vodka hasn't hit me yet, I grab the bottle and chug some more, again and again, The blood was very light now and was barely bleeding that made me crave the stinging feeling more, I deserved it, I was a mistake my parents never loved me, Tony never cared about me he never answers my calls anymore

I don't even know where he went he wouldn't tell me, I bet he told Effy, I move my shaking hands towards the knife and hold it up to my eyes to scan it, I twirl it around and look down at my arm, I bring my knees up to my face and start sobbing into my knees, "If he doesn't answer I'll do it, If he doesn't answer I'll cut again" I chant while grabbing my phone

I dial in Tony's number and it starts to ring, I let it ring until it went to voicemail, I hang up and multiple tears come down my eyes, next thing I know fresh cuts were bleeding from my arm, I put my tank top on it and aggressively rub it away, The blood was spilling out, I was slightly moving the cuts up and down with the tank top not on purpose

It was the same amount of bleeding than it was before, I stand up and angrily kick the door, I unlock my door and open it slamming me behind, sprinting down the stairs, I run into the kitchen and open the medical cupboard, I grab the bandaids and grab about 10 of them, I throw the bandaids on the table and rip them open applying them one by one

Most of the blood has leaked through the bandaids already, I run upstairs once I hear someone approaching the front door, probably Effy, I rush into my room forgetting to lock it, I hide the tank top behind my wardrobe and start to snake my arm panicking, I hear the front door knock

I look out my window and see Freddie, "Fuck" I whisper yell, I put my jacket on and try to unlock it, I accidentally lock it, I unlock it again and open my door, I wipe the old tears from my eyes as I began waking downstairs, Probably here to see if Effys back.

I open the door and there he was, "Hey, Wondering if Effys back right?" I say, "Actually, No I wanted to see you, I uh, think I like you." He mumbled, My lips curled in a smirk, "Right then" I say while looking at his left eye, then his lips, then his right eye

I smile, I knew what I did Mum taught me it, little did I know the two of them did, I knew JJ supposedly loved me, I knew Cook only wanted to bang me which he successfully did, Cook doesn't want me, JJ knows he can't have me, Freddie is only saying that because Effy wasn't there

"Hey what happened to your hand there's blood dripping down from it" He pointed out the blood coming from my sleeves, "Oh papercut." I stated

"So" He turned to me, "Talk to me tomorrow" I say and step inside, He salutes at me and turns around and walks away, I shut the door and take off my jacket I rush into the kitchen and wipe the blood off my wrists, I run the tap and rinse my arm under, It stung a lot

I was dizzy from the vodka, I felt like my soul was meters behind me, My head span around, I lean my head back as I watered the cuts, I turn off the tap and dry my wrist with a tea towel

I take a deep breath and it wasn't bleeding anymore, I go upstairs and go in my room and take my clothes off I change into a black tracksuit, I go into my bed and go to sleep

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