Things Only Go Downhill

Chapter 21

TW: Themes of suicide and self-harm

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"Life went on... But it was never the same again"
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The first thing Maze did when getting back from Cyrus's was stomp toward his drawers and dig out a change of clothes. He couldn't help feeling a little bit frustrated. He wasn't entirely sure why the idea of bottoming for Cyrus made him so annoyed or angry. It made no sense in his mind and he was quickly becoming tired of not knowing things.

He struggled to pull out a pair of his sweats, repeatedly hitting his hand on the top of the drawer before letting out a loud sigh in defeat and relaxing his body. He laid his head against the mattress above his drawers and took slow and deep breaths, quickly becoming stressed out. What didn't help was the pesky blonde watching his every move.

"You seem upset" Silas deadpanned. Maze clenched his fists and reluctantly turned to look at Silas.

"I'm fine" Maze deadpanned right back.

"Just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean you can't talk to me about your emotions... If I remember correctly you tend to have a lot of them" Silas muttered the last part making Maze roll his eyes.

"You don't want to hear it" Maze warned him. Silas shrugged and went back to flipping through his magazine filled with celebrity gossip and toxic beauty standards he'd obsess over for a while before Maze sighed in defeat. "Hypothetically" he began. Silas turned to face him again. "Say I started seeing someone"

"I'd offer them my condolences" Silas chuckled. "I'm bipolar and even I can't deal with how all over the place you are" Maze decided to ignore him despite knowing exactly why he was the way he was. He had to be able to multitask back home. If he hadn't been able to the house surely would have fallen apart... The problem was that there wasn't much of that to do at Westwood and his mind was growing bored.

"Anyways" Maze huffed. "Say I wanted to sleep with them but they only agreed to it if I bottomed"

"I'd say go for it" Silas shrugged before pausing. "You do know you're a verse... Right?"

"I'm not" Maze scoffed, throwing his head back against his bed.

"I totally thought you went to gay clubs to get railed" Silas suddenly sat up as he had become intrigued. "Jesus, you've been with a lot of guys. How have you never even tried it?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Maze blurted out. "I'm not a bottom, I-" he paused. His sentences suddenly came out in small spurts of energy. No clear connection to the former and almost as all over the place as Maze's thoughts. "I go to clubs with Dorian- Why the hell would you think that-? Do I look like some twink to you? Like someone's bitch?" Maze rambled. Silas seemed to take offense to that last part and quickly chuckled his pillow at Maze.

"Fuck off. You don't have to be a twink to be a bottom and being a bottom doesn't make you someone's bitch, jackass" Silas scoffed. "And if anything, you were my bitch" Maze paused and let out a long sigh.

"You know what my dad told me when I first came out? The fucker told me that he was fine with it as long as I didn't become some guy's bitch" Maze muttered after a long pause of silence.