love runs out

27

pov Martin

"Martijn, you should finish your songs," watse warns me and I nod. "I know," I mutter. It's a few days later and to be honest I kept thinking about Cleo. I can't stop thinking about her after that night we spend together. Nobody know this from me, I did not tell anybody about Cleo and me. I think they wouldn't even bother though.

"Where is your mind Martijn, is not here," watse says chuckling. "I'm just bit tired," I mutter. "Allright, dude. Calm down," someone randomly says. I roll with my eyes and I catch Menno walking in. "Hey bro," he smiles and I get up. I give him a bro hug and he's standing behind me. "What are you making?" He asks and I play some of my songs. He listens to the text and gives me a gaze.

My baby with the shizz
Right now it's perfect bliss
But what if one day I wake up and I don't feel like this?
If I can't trust you, feel disconnected

I know the lyrics it's something that I'm not used to write. But since Cleo is in my life everything is different. She does everything different than everyone around me. Watse and Eelko say goodbye and we both waving them goodbye too. Menno waits till they're gone. I continue the work on my song. "Bro, you gotta be honest," Menno starts and I push my headphones away. "About what?" I ask him. "This lyrics sounds like that girl you're talking to, Cleo right. What happened between you guys?" He asks me and sits down, I look at him and I bite on my lip.

"Yeah, it's about her," I say and he raises his eyebrow. "And why?" He asks. "I don't know. We kissed," I say and he smiles. "You guys kissed so do you like her?" He asks me. "I freaking don't know. Some moment I wish she never left and other moment I'm totally fine to be alone and not caring about an other person. I feel so confused," I explain my emotions to him. "And now?" He asks.

I get up and fix a coffee for myself. "Do you want coffee too?" I ask him. "No, I will take some water," he says and I nod. "There you go," I simply says. "But answers question. So what's the next step?" He asks me. "Well," I chuckle and shake my head. "What?" He asks and it's resting his arms on the counter so I do too. "We had sex," I say  and he looks very surprised. Even though he knows how I am he didn't expect this. "But you never want sex immediately when you like someone. You never did the same with Rachel nor with Emma," he says. "I didn't got time with Rachel. Emma is different story," I say and he nods quietly.

"Was it what you expect to be" he asks. "I took her virginity so I guess it was good. She liked it and so I did too," I say. "You took her virginity, jeez Christ," Menno mutters. "She's 21?" He asks immediately and raises his eyebrow surprised. "Is there something wrong with that? She's atleast not a hoe or whore who has sex with 8 different boys in one weekend," I back up. "Sorry, you would actually love her or like her?" He asks me. "That's the point. I don't know if I love her. I like her, I'm sure I like her but love her, I just don't know for sure," I try to explain to him.

"So you do like her?" He asks. "Yeah, i do but not sure if I love her. I'm just confused," I say.

"Because of a Rachel and Emma, especially Rachel," he says.

"But I don't need to love someone to be together as Couple. Liking someone or just finding her attractive means something too," he says. "Really?" I ask him. "Yeah of course. Maybe you like her doing normal stuff like cooking or cleaning whatever it could be. Like her to talk with her about serious issues in life or just comfortable to talk to. You like cuddling more, doing things together, like eating and watching series more. Just everything you used to do alone, you like it more when you do together," he mention for me, so maybe I could recognize love.

Jeez love is such a big word. It's almost scary to talk about. "Just talk to her and be honest about your feelings. What you feel for her," he tries to give me some confidence boost. "I wish I could," I mutter. "Why do you not talk to her? If there's something girls like is when you're opening up to her," he says.

"We haven't talk in a week and the last time we saw each other we had sex and the morning after she's gone," I say. "Than you should talk. Haven't you missed her, just her being around, talking to her," he says and shakes his head. "Yeah, fuck. I did miss," I mutter quietly. "App her bro, talk to her. Express your feelings and say what you feel," he says and support me. I grab my phone and he smiles. "What you're gonna say?" He asks and massage my shoulders.

you: can you come at mine's whenever you're done with work?

"Add something. Show feelings," Menno says. "Come'n," he continues. I sighs but add something to it.

you: I missed you

"It should be I miss you. It sounds like it's in the present instead of the past," he says.

I ignore his statement, I know it sounds ridiculous.

She responses.

c: well, that took a lot of time ...

you: I'm sorry but I miss you a lot

c: you do?

you: yeah, I kept thinking about you

c: I have to work till 11 pm, so it will be late sorry

you: you can sleep over, it's fine

c: aww thank you!!! I'll stand for your door around 12 midnight

you: can't wait to see you🤎

c: I do too❤️

I put my phone down and Menno smiles. "Great and I'm proud of you," he smiles. I smile slightly. "But still gotta opening up," he says and I nod.