love runs out

48

pov Martijn

I wake up, Cleo is laying next to me, she's asleep. She fell asleep while watching the movie. I get up and I look over to Vie who's still asleep. I get back in bed again and try to make Cleo awake. I come closer to her warm body, instead of feeling her warm body, I only feel coldness. I throw the sheets away and look at her. She's pale as fuck. I lay my ear down on her chest, her heart is not clopping. No no no no. She can't be dead. Everything looked fine right? How is that even possible. I'm totally panic I start calling my mom.

"Mom," i say in big panic when she pick up the phone.

"What's the matter sweetheart?" She asks.

"Cleo-o she died," I start crying and stumbling my words.

"I'll be there, we call am ambalance," she says and hang up.

I put my phone down and start crying more in respons. She died in front of me? H9w did I not know she's was gonna die. Fuck, how stupid can I be to let her go? I grab her hand and start crying uncontrollably. "Cleo," I whisper. "Why did you leave me? Why didn't you say anything? I could've helped you," I whisper in shock. I'm still in shock. Maybe she's just sleeping very deep and I shake her little bit.

"Cleo, wake up. Cleo, don't fuck with me. Cleo, for god sakes," I cry and my head is laying down on her stomach. I hear a baby crying and I wipe my tears away, but every minute they're coming more. Vie is awake and she needs food of course. With a lot of pain in my heart I get up from the bed and walk to her, grab her out of her bed and comfort her little. "Daddy loves you," I whisper to Vie who's just looking surprised.

~

"Martijn," my mom says and tries to comfort me. "Now you should fight for Vie," my mom says and stroke over my cheek. "So cleo saving isn't worthy anymore?" I ask her. "They said she's dead for more than 12 hours," my mom whispers. "So now it's true, I lost cleo... I-I can't have her back to me?" I ask her. My mom shakes her head sadly. I start crying again and I feel a hand over my shoulder.

"She was the one for me, mom. She was the person that understood me, she was there for every moment, she waited for me to tell my story. She's the love of my life," I say with a broken voice. "I get it. It's okay," she whispers and I cry even more. This pain is so heavy. How I'm supposed to life further without cleo next to me. "But Don't go back how you were.. how longer process her death, there will be more happy memories from her in your heart. But you're priority to live is there," she says and looks at Vie. "As long her dad is taking good care of her, something cleo really wishes it will be fine. Of course they may be difficulties but always remember martijn. We are where for you and Vie on any moment," my mom says and wipe my tears away. "It's okay to cry. You lost the person you loved the most. It will take some time to heal," She says and pulls me in a hug.

"Wish I could be with her forever," I whisper.

"You two would have been a perfect match," she says and I feel tears rolling down over my cheeks again. I can't stop crying.

~

i lay here, in bed, in the house I grew up in. I wanted to sleep somewhere else than at home where Cleo died. Today I told some people, like my soms of friends and Watse about Cleo's death. Something more terrifying is: I have to make an announcement on Instagram saying my beloved partner died after giving birth. That's just something I don't want to think about. Doctors knew happend, it was a pregnancy poising, something that could be taken care of, only I didn't know and the doctors nor gynecologist did know this. It could be prevented and she could be still alive. That's the most painful thing to know. I try to sleep. For the ones who ask, Vie is also here. How would my life go now I'm a single dad?

"Martijn,"

I close my ears. Just sleep.

"Martijn. Listen to me," she whispers.

"Shut up," I mutter. "I try to sleep," I whisper. Fighting to my tears.

"I want to make an excuse. I feel bad for leaving you alone with our daughter. I knew you would like me to raise Vie together but I can't. My body gave up and you should do anything to make her happy. I know she's gonna be a daddy's girl,"

"Stop Cleo," my voice is totally broken.

"She would scream daddy happy as she could. She would become a little dj girl like her dad. Going to see the whole world and maybe even loving music as much as you do. I know you can do this Martijn,"

"I can't without you," I whisper.

"You can trust me. I'll keep a eye on both of you, so nothing bad will happen, together with Rachel,"

"Stop!" I scream and sit on my bed.

I breathe very heavy and my mom is walking into my room. "Why you're screaming like that?" She asks me and I just cry. Nothing will heal right now. "I miss Cleo so much," I cry heartbroken. "Let it out," she whispers and is going through my hair. "I miss her so much mom," my voice is broken. I look up and I see tears in my mother's eyes too. "You liked her?" I ask her. "Of course i did. She brought yourself back. The martijn that I missed so much she brought him back to us," she whispers. I can't stop crying and hold my mom close to me.