love runs out

37

pov Cleo

"What then? Hmm?" I ask him. He told already a lot but I feel like there's more. I feel so bad for him, he was in love at such a young age and kept it a secret for 6 years and never tried any move on her. Now on the moment he had a change with her she dies in front of him.

"There were ambulances. I was getting out by social workers and I can't remember a lot after that. I was placed in one of two ambulances, they made sure if I was still breathing and how my heart beat was. I was still breathing, but my heart beat was very low. They rushed to the 24 ER and I got resuscitate by doctors to keep up with my heart beat. It didn't work in the beginning and I was getting lower. They finally hit it and I was back on track. I immediately got under surgery for my leg, my head and my stomach. There's one complications so I ended up getting in coma for a few days. My paneers lost me almost, so did my sister. They lost me because of my reckless behavior. While I was under surgery and doctors were fighting for my life."

"Rachel was fighting for her own, on the street. They keep doing resuscitates on her. They kept doing those until they're arrived at the hospital. She dies there because of her wounds and I wasn't there for her," he cried and it made my heart sad.

"After 15 days I was awake, my parents cried, they're mad at me,  but they cried anyways. My sister cried to. I kept asking my mom about Rachel, if she's okay. If she's still alive and every time they respond so quietly on. They basically ignored my question which made me mad. I wanted to see her, talk to her and be with her. Finally we could be free, we could be in love without being titled as friends. We could be soulmates and then my sister decided to speak the truth and said she died. I didn't want to believe her. I thought she's lying. She wasn't dead she was still alive. She was alive. We would travel the whole world, like she always dreamed of, I told her she would living in that dream if she was going with me. My mom said they already has the funeral of her, so I barely had a change to say a normal goodbye to her," he cries and snobs his way through the story. It touched him.

"Her parents were blaming me. They wanted that I would be guilty of the death of their daughter so I will ended up in jail. My parents tried everything for me so I could escape that sentence. Her parents were mad, I understood that. They didn't know I was upset and sad too. I never wanted her to die. The police kept asking me what happens that night, what did you do before that night. So our kind of conversation in the car came out, so our sexual feelings towards each other came out. Her as well my parents were in shook. I had to come in the trial and speak about everything happened. Once again, how she touched me, how she give me blow job, in front of her and your own parents. It's embarrassing. The guilt came on the opposite driver who drove way too fast and I had to pay money towards her parents. It was quite my fault. So I did and they never spoke to me again. All I ever asked for was forgiveness but they never forgiven me. My parents, they're mad. They d thought it was stupid to drive but they understood the underlying thought of it. My mom said: 'maybe I was too hard on you for about loving someone. You can't control it and I'm sorry for not let you love someone you loved. If I knew earlier, maybe I would trust you and give it try. I never wanted to make you more confused'. In the end the forgive me for what I did, because they know it was not intention to kill her, I wanted her safe at home," he cries continuous and I hug him longer and kiss him. To comfort him more and making him comfortable.

"How after?"

"Than I met Emma. Half year later after Rachel passed away, I just got rid of all the trail stuff and it just ended all. She's there for me, like Rachel. I start falling in love with her and I was obsessed with her. I never want to let her go. I had sex for the first time with her. After a month being my bestfriend that I desperately needed. She started to act different and strange. I was too blind too see it and she's seeing other men, hook up with them, having fun with them instead of me. I was too naive and still confused about Rschel's death that I believe her and she continued. I found it through Louis who sends me pictures of her kissing with another dude. It made me sick to my stomach, she came at mine houses that evening and I yelled at her. Asking her why she did that to me. Her face was cold and careless. She didn't care about my feelings, my thoughts whatever was doing with me. She literally said: well you got money, I can buy nice things for that and the sex is not that great so I looked to other boys for better sex. They give me better sex than you do'. I was totally heartbroken and set her out my house. She could leave and than I decided to be like. Careless for anyone else, be cold and rough so nobody is gonna hurt you again. I start changing my appearance, hooked up with a lot of woman, after every show, I brought a lady to my home and we hooked up. I started drink much much more, to drink the pain away, I kept thinking about Rachel. Emma was out of my life but Rachel. I couldn't get her out of my mind. She was there and she will stay there. Eventually slowly started doing drugs and having pills, I quickly quiet and actually had more sex, drink more and did more shows. Sometimes touched woman inappropriately or when I was mad I had sex, all through because of drinking. It was a circle where I couldn't come out until I met you," he says and looks at me.

Three years long he struggles to live, with drinking and having sex like every day, with different woman. "You sure you didn't make any girl pregnant?" I ask him. "I'm sure, I always used a condom. Otherwise they had the morning after pill," he says confident. "You know, that sometimes you forget it. So there's a possibility that somewhere out there, a woman is who's pregnant of you or has already a baby, you're the dad," I say and bite on my lips. That will be so weird. "In those three years, I never had a girl, dming me, email me, write me or knock n my door and said. I'm pregnant and it's yours. Never had and never will," he says and his hands lays on cheeks. They're soft and it feels so good. "From all the girls, I prefer making you pregnant than any other girl," he says and I chuckle. "But not now," I whisper and he pushes on the bed. "I decide," he says and I feel his lips on mine.