𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨 • 𝗔. 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗦

𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅

[a l e x i s]

Alexis: 'helping' or 'defending'

I was told by my dad that Mum and him had chose this name for me even before I was born. They loved it, not because of the spelling or the names or the vowels that made it roll at the tip of your tongue but because of the definition, the thing that gave me texture- meaning. Of course names don't define you yourself but it gives you grounding a base. Something to help you build.

And mine was helping or of course defending. It was in my honour. Even if I hated a girl and I saw her in the time of need I'd still help her do anything in my will to protect her to ensure she is safe because that's my meaning. But in someways it isn't the best of definitions. Because it can mean that you help only yourself, you're selfish or every man for himself some people would like to say. Like I said before your name gives you meaning it's just your choice of how you interpret it.

"Ready?" Connie slings her arm over my shoulder as we walk towards the dorms. Julie had decided to steal some food for us from the lunchroom to save us time whenever we decided to sleep in which I'm guessing will be majority of this season. "I'm so tired Alex." Connie leans her head against my shoulder her arm falls around my torso as I prop her up onto my side. Her sneakers drag against the carpet as small lines develop on her shoes, dirt washes the white spots of her heel as I carry her throughout the corridor. Snatching the keys from her pocket I slowly push the door open.

The light dim with the curtains shutting any possible source of light to slip under its crevice. The window sill thick with oak as it contains small pots of plants and frames of abstract art. Connie flings her shoes of the soles of her feet as she lets the mattress catch her body into a cooling cuddle. I tie her hair at the back of her head stopping stray hairs to fall into her eyes. I pull her legs into the bed pulling the blanket over her limb body.

Her chin compresses against her shoulder as she lets out quite snores. Her breaths steady as she drags in small amounts of air, with the time left I decide to clean the dorm in every way possible keeping my mine occupied from the bustle outside. Julie came back after half an hour with bags of treats and food to store in the fridge. We place our wallets into the safe locking it with the code before separating in our own ways down the halls.

"Hey Guy!" I whisper-shout. He whips his head around with his classic charming smile plastered onto his face, "if you want to see Connie she's in the dorm- she's sleeping." I warn before handing him the key. "Thanks." He bids me his goodbyes before running down to his girlfriend.

I tap my fingers against the lamps as I walk by. The numbers on my hand fading as I walk along the obnoxiously long hallway. The lights dull, barely filling the place with any vibrance.

523

The dead skin on my lips flakes, swiping my tongue over my bottom lip bringing some substance to the flesh as I knock onto the door. The rock music transparent through the thin walls. My eardrums sliced as the door widens. A smiling Dean looks down at me as he drags me into the dorm.

"Room...... service?" Fulton ceases his cheers as I walk into the room. "I'm hear to help you clean because I can't stand the mess." I raise my hands theatrically, Fulton shakes his head letting out a small chuckle before standing up and walking over to Dean. "You two have fun I've got this." I say ushering them out.

"Just so you know Charlie and Ad-" before he can finish Deans already shut the door placing the keys onto the Minnie fridge. His footsteps quieten after a few still minutes.

And before a I know it I start cleaning every inch millimetre of this place. That was until-

"- I told you not to bring that stupid thing," his voice croaks. My head cocks to the right. My eyebrows knitted as I'm met with Adams cold blue eyes and Charlie's green ones. "Hey." Charlie replies slowly swiftly waving his right hand. His shoulders tense as he shuffles his feet onto the carpet. "Hi." Adam deadpans, his eyes enough to tell me he was forced to be here then deciding on his own record.

"I'm sorry if this comes of rude but what're you two doing here?" I swing my legs off the window sill adjusting my stance to be facing the two dirty-blondes. "It's not like I want to be here- Charlie forced me. He's the one who offered after hearing you were going to be here." Adams voice stern and curt. His long finger tuck underneath the safety of his jeans, his fingernails pick at the loose thread on his sweater. His cold blue eyes separate from my own avoiding the glances I attempt to share.

"Sorry about him, he's just being an ass today." Charlie excuses. His hair flops the right as he runs his hands through it. His green eyes more apparent underneath the subtle darkness that casts over the dorm in a shadow form. "Why did you offer to do this?" Adam wraps his hand around one of Dean' rock shirts. The print flaky-- Adam slowly traces the picture with the tips of his fingers knotting it around his fist as he folds it onto the pile I've made at the end of the room. "Because, I don't like the mess and they're my friends." My shoulders lift into a slight shrug. I gulp my throat damp. I feel that penatrating feeling of one thousand needles prickling at your skin until it draws the very blood from your veins. Or that feeling you get in your stomach if you go down a steep hill. That's the way I feel when Adam is around. I hate those feelings because they slowly burn you until you become ash. That feeling will devour you in the worst ways possible and in the most tortures ways possible because its enjoyable.

But looking at Adam he finds no joy in tormenting me. It's written all over his face. The way he would twist his eyebrows in disdain eveytime he'd say anything remotley offensive. Or the way his words come out hesitantly like he doesn't want too. But then I see the way the words roll of with ease like he's thought about this conversation before. Like he has imagined how this would play out, like he was planning for this very moment to happen, and maping out each word he is to say.

He knows the things he's saying and they are to hurt me while hurting him in the process, because no matter how much he denies it he fills that feeling to. That feeling of tourment.

"Dean is your friend. Not Fulton. He barely knows you and he'd never hang out with a snob like you."

"Okay." His words hit me like a series of bruises. They may hurt the moment you touch it, but if you leave it alone it won't hurt as much anymore. "Guys can we please just get this done without fighting?" Charlie throws a towel towards Adam, his face hidden in the cotton as I just giggle.

Charlie glances at me with a loose smile stuck on his face. His eyes trace every inch of my body in the most mesmerising ways. "Got something to say Conway?" The green eyed boy just shakes his head-- occuping himself with something else in his view.

"Thought so."