[c o n n i e]
A/N:
There are mentions of assault. If you do not wish to read on I completely understand I wouldn't wish to trigger you guys in anyway, please stay safe out there.i n d i g o
I had only known these two girls for a series of weeks, yet to me it feels as if I've known them for decades. I have chatted to them more in a night then I have anyone in a year.
Us three know each from head to toe, we know how each other's minds works how easily our emotions reciprocate and how easily they can break within moments.
Julie had always been the toughest out of us, she's built a brick wall between herself and her feelings. She'd rather feel numb then feel every pint of pain that had seemed to walk into her life. But we keep telling her that's what makes you human, knowing you can take the pain and make it better. It what helps you to heal. She never listens, yet she tells us she is. I don't mind of course, I just wished she'd take our advice more.
Alexis was in the middle. But she's worse because she doesn't have a switch between happy or sad. She feels as if that if she keeps that smile on her face it one day my become real. And her happiness may become a genuine feeling. Everyday she has this need to prove herself better then what she's cut out for. Pushing herself deeper into the void, she pulls herself down so much to the point we're afraid we can't pull her back up. She's drowning, and she's never going to come up for air. I swear the girl spends most of her time training then she does actually having fun.
I remember one time, we were all sitting on the counter of the arcade. It was an estimate of 2:30 am. Neither of us sleepy or tired. Still wide awake with the wasted energy that seemed to still fill us. I can still feel their cool prickles down my veins and the light peck at my vessels every time I take a slow breath.
There was a bag of popcorn in each of our laps. Filled half way, butter drizzled, and for Julie salt. We weren't talking, we just sat there eating. It didn't matter at that time because the silence spoke louder then the words that mustered into our heads. We had nothing to say and we knew it. We had talked ourselves out, we had covered every subject in our lives and even other peoples. There was nothing to do.
That was until Alexis had spoken up and told her a story that changed my way of thinking. Not in a good way either, made me question my relationship with Guy, made me question if I was really safe in any relationship at all.
"I've never told anyone this story, not even Julie or mum." I could see her chin tremble. Her eyes stayed still as her body quakes. Julie and I sat silent. Tucking my legs further into my chest, my stare tenses.
"When I was thirteen my mum had told me I'd be visiting my dad for a week to celebrate my birthday. She was only there to accompany me. Only there to make sure I had spent a full trip with him. Anyways, when I got there he introduced me to his team. One in particular caught my eye. Olaf Sanderson. He was so nice, he was charming. Everything sweet. But one night when I had finished my dinner at the dining hall in the rink,"
She paused for a moment. Her fists digging deeper into her pockets. The light pigmentation of her cheeks flourishing into darker shades. The neon signs of the arcade had slowly shut down, the snack bar the only source of light to our sight.
"He came up to me. He was so close. To close for comfort. He kept pressing his chest against mine. His hands were— were, pushing against my arms. I could feels his nails in my skin. That's how tight his grip was. He started to take off my shirt and kept pressing kisses into my neck. I remember that clearly. It's like I can still feel it. And I was just pushing and kicking. I even fully punched him in the face and he still didn't stop."
The tears in her eyes were clear. Dropping faster and faster down her cheeks as each word failed to leave the safety of her throat. Julie and I had sat next to her, trying to ease the breaths that faltered. "If you don't want to continue that's fine with us."
"It's fine. I need to share it. To know that you will know what to do if either of you are in this position. My dad had walked out of his office. He saw him. And he pushed him into the wall. He screamed and shouted into his face. Told him to never look or touch me again. Suspended him from the team for a month."
At that time I didn't know why she had shared that story with us. Maybe because it was too overwhelming to be kept alone. Or too mocking to be dealt with on your lonesome. But now. Now I know why.
Living in this world, we're there are so many things happening at once that it feels suffocating that you can barely keep up with your own thoughts. You loose track of things, things that apply to being a female. That includes your safety. I hated seeing my best friend like this, I would hate to see anyone like this. I hated it because I shouldn't need to be worrying if my friends are safe if I am safe, not only because of dangers but from men. All because men can't keep themselves together, or they can't keep their hands to themselves.
We are known as objects, play things. And every time I remember that moment when Alexis told us her story it made my heart wrench into tiny little pieces. It made me scared to be alone with Guy it made me worried because I didn't know if I was safe with him. I told myself I shouldn't be thinking this because she has been my boyfriend for years.
But I shouldn't feel sorry for the way I think, because these events that play in my mind happen, happen to innocent women and teenagers and even girls my age and lower.
It wasn't random for her to mention it, she said it because we are in a team of boys. We should trust them.
But isn't our fault if we don't.
A/N:
This was just a chapter of awareness, I just needed to somehow send a message through my writing and I just thought this would be a good way to do it. To make sure people are safe and stay safe out there.
I'm so sorry to anyone who has ever had to go through that. I'm sorry to anyone who has experienced it in anyway or form. Just know there's people that love you.
I don't feel like crying today so imma stop myself here. But this chapter is something that is important especially for Alexis and her relationship between Olaf Sanderson 🤢
Thank you for all the reads and votes Luv y'all sm :)
i n d i g o
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