𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨 • 𝗔. 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗦

𝑇𝐸𝑁

[j u l i e]

The truth is that I'm sick, not a flu type of sick not a cough, this feeling makes me feel like it will never be able to go away and that nothing in this world will ever be able to fix it. Here's a visaul, think of it like every day you break a bone and each day it becomes worse and worse but there is no one willing to help you fix it. That's what it feels like. Because every bruise or scratch that may appear on my body will go un-noticed. But every scar, every bruise and every scartch that appears on my face is seen by everyone. And that's what baffles be. Is that people will only let themselves see what they want to. But every time someone looks out of place in society all eyes are on them, I don't care about the attention I don't want to be the centre of attention I just want someone to ask if I'm okay. Even the smallest of questions like that will put a smile to my paling skin.

Ask it sometimes, because even those 4 words can impact someones life so greatly that it heals those scars, and those bruises and the scratches. I make it sound so good and so inviting but even I haven't exprienced a heaven like that. Don't get me wrong I am truly grateful for all that I have but no one wishes for less only more and thats all I ask for, or maybe question?

Is there more?

Because right now siting on the sidline bench listening to Coach tell us how shit we are I am certain that their isn't anything more than sweaty boys covered in an overwhelming amount of hockey pads with a lingering stench attatched to them.

I love Alexis and I love Connie, but I know them and niether of them would never be able to relate. Because I've talked and seen their lives and honestly they are both in stable positions. Now looking at it I don't know what stable means. But I'm certain a stable life is anything but my own.

I know we are told not to use the word hate but this is the only feeling I feel towards my parents. My Mum makes me feel like shit. I don't need that little voice in my head to tell me I'm not good enough anymore because Carol Gaffney is here to do it for me. And my dad, there is nothing really wrong with him but he just stands there letting my Mum treat me like this, and he listens and he agrees even though everytime she leaves the room he tells me different.

I usaully feel numb, but nothing will compare to how I feel now. "We're in trouble Ken. What can you do for us?"

"Lets see. uh, a triple aerial with a double hamill camel, that should split the d, then a pirouetting half-toe-touch for the goal." Ken explains. "Show it to me, son." Coach pats his back encouragingly. "Come on, Kenny get us back in the game." Connie shouts happily as Ken slides over the boards. As he turned into the air, he almost looked ethereal. That was until Standerson and Stahl pushed the poor boy down into the ice.

"Was that it?" Coach asks as he brings Ken back into the safety of the sidelines. Ken nods in response as he clutches onto his stomach tightly.

"They've got to think of some way to get back into this game. Iceland with the puck. Here's Olaf Sanderson right down the middle. Sanderson over to Stahl he scores!" The siren wails, and the team goes silent as if we already excepted the defeat brought to us. "Where's our concentration? You guys are runnin' around like a bunch of chickens with your heads cut off!"

"We're doin' our best." Jesse comments. His face twists as coach closes his range to the boy. "Well, your best isn't good enough anymore. Blow this game and we are one loss away from elimination."

I purse by lips between my teeth as I vaguely listen to the man speak. His voice hightening as if our silence bites back more than our actaul words. "You guys might want to go home early, but I sure as heck don't."

"He's really making me want to though." Alexis runs her fingers along her oiling hair as the sweat imprints her jeresey. "Tell me about." I mutter back. "My, that was insipiring." Averman shakes his head slowly, clicking his tongue against his teeth he turns to face me nudging me softly with a light smile. "He'll put you on soon, I promise." Alexis states before hugging my shoulders - returning to her position up front. "Will you please tell him that."

"And the result....." Luis passes the invisible mic aka his hand in a fist towards me. "The exact same as last period."

"At this point we are just asking them to injure us, atleast we'll be out of this shit hole of a game." Agreeing we all just turn our heads, watching intensely as team U.S.A. gets flown across the rink.

"You're off Goldberg!" The goalie cheers to himself. "Go Julie." Luis and Alexis whisper as I secure my pads onto my knees. "Hey, good luck, goalie. You're gonna need it." He pats my shoulder, or tries to.  "Thanks, Goldberg."

"Sending in a woman to do a mans job." Please, I could break your bones before you could even spur the word hockey. I wanted to say, but of course I chose the more.... sensible choice. "Don't break a nail."

"I'm sorry, boys, but can you help me with my pads, please?"  The two Iceland players look eye to each other before ducking their heads down to my legs. My arm goes in to tap each of their shoulders and let me tell you they are too fragile, because not even a second later they were on their asses groaning in pain as I am the one who had caused it.

"Intent to injure! You're out of the game!"

"See you around, fellas."

"Thanks for the breather." Nodding away I waddle away to the locker rooms. My face sweating and my eyes grown heavier.

"Mans job my ass."

A/N:
Short chapter but whateva, first time doing a POV other then Alexis and Adam first time kinda nervous ;-;

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