Hidden Secrets - A Beau Brooks Fanfic

Chapter Thirty-Three

The heart warming glow of home peaks through the gap in the curtains and out onto the dewy lawn. The distinct shadows of Jai and Luke flicker across the windows in jagged moves. I wouldn't be surprised if they were pissed off with me. I had promised to call them regularly, and my mum every day. Neither promises were kept.

My eyes gently roll back into my skull and my eyelids shut. I can't sleep here. They'd wake up in the morning and insist on me coming in. I prize my weary eyes open and stare blankly at the steering wheel.

"Beau?"

A curtain of light spreads out onto the grass and mums silhouette appears in the doorway. I couldn't do this, not now anyway. My hand quickly turns the keys in the ignition and I release the handbrake to accelerate.

"No- Beau don't-Stop!"

She runs out in front of the car and I have to slam the brakes on rapidly to avoid hitting her, her hands slapping down hard on the bonnet. My heart feels like its beating a thousand times a second, like it could break out my chest at any moment. Mum runs round to my door and yanks it open, practically suffocated me with her arms. I hug her back tightly, my tears staining the soft grey material on her top.

"Beau.........please come inside....." she whispers and reluctantly, I nod.

—————————————————————————-

It feels weird to be back home. It wasn't the biggest house in melbourne, and certainly not the fanciest, but it was home. My home. Lala greets me with warm kisses which makes my heartbreak. Stupid slut, making me teary eyed. I almost have an emotional breakdown when I see Luke and Jai, struggling to finish hugging either of them. Mum hands me a cup of tea and I shakily take it from her, slouching back into one of the armchairs with Lala curled up on my lap.

"What happened Beau?" Mum starts but her tears cut her off. Jai takes her hand and speaks for her.

"You haven't contacted any of us in weeks, we thought something bad had happened to you"

I stare down on my mug, looking at an unclear reflection I barely recognized anymore. What was I supposed to say? Sorry mum, I was busy looking after a recovering rape victim. Oh, sorry mum, I was having sex with a girl I decided to run away with. Sorry that I couldn't call any of you, I actually got arrested and then broke out of jail.....

"Well say something then!" Luke shouts at me. "What about the girl, Dahlia?"

"I let her go....." I mumble playing around with my fingers. When I look up mum has stopped crying and all three are looking at me, mum with a confused expression and the boys looking pissed. R e a l l y pissed.

"I let her go." I say again

"You let her go......" ".......what do you mean you let her......" "which means you ran away for......" "......nothing you do is ever about the people you are supposed to care for!" "........you are so selfish!"

Jai and Luke both get up and start yelling at me and slowly I sink further down into the chair. Call me a coward if you like. Then mum gets up and shouts over the top of them.

"QUIET! BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! HE DOESN'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW, NONE OF US DO"

The boys both join me, sinking back down into their chairs. Mum starts to pace around the room pinching the bridge of her nose. I could tell she had been doing a lot of that lately. A runway of carpet was slightly more warm out than the rest, and she had a small bruise just underneath her thumb and index finger.

"What happened Beau....?"

I take a deep breath and decide to start from the beginning; the very beginning. How one day I met this girl. She was in a situation no one could ever deserve to be put through, and I wanted to help her. At first I guess it was about me wanting to feel good about myself, but the more she pushed me away, the closer I wanted, no, needed to get her. I guess I was crazy for her and so, we ran. We ran half away across the country, encountered countless problems, wars were fought, tears were shed, but I couldn't stop caring for her. Yet I was afraid that I would never be able to give her what she needed most. A safe haven.

"And so I left her on the side of the road, without an explanation, and I know! I should feel crap about it! But I didn't want to live with the fact that I could have been the one hurting her!"

A long silence takes control of the room and mum stares at me.

"Beau.....despite what happened......it seems like you loved her a lot......and a love like that is rare.....I think maybe you have a task you need to fulfill"

I manage a smile and get up out my chair to take hold of one of her hands.

"I'll visit as soon as I can....." I whisper and pull her small body into my chest.

At the doorstep I bend down for her to kiss the top of my head and I give my brothers a farewell hand shake. Mum was right. Maybe I couldn't give her what she needed, but what I could give her was far better than a life with Ian.

"I'll keep loving and supporting you Beau, whatever you choose to do" mum says as I get into the car and start the ignition back up. The three of them stand on the edge of the pavement and wave me down the road and I continue to wave back until I could no longer see them. Ian had better start preparing himself for a fucking knuckle sarnie.

It has been a month. Holy crap. And I am so sorry. I know know *puts hands up* I'm probably the worst Wattpad updater in the WORLD. I will try to write a backlog of chapters so I always have one to update:) Keep voting, reading, commenting; I love you all more than Beau loves Dahlia:)xxxxxxxxxxxx