Hidden Secrets - A Beau Brooks Fanfic

Chapter Seven

The dreams about Beau had become stronger just as I had predicted. Last night I wasn't in the dream, but looking onto it as if I was behind a glass wall. It was a fight between Ian and Beau and things got out of hand. I screamed at them to stop but.....but they couldn't hear me and Beau, he......he didn't survive.

However what awoke me this evening was not my dreams. Instead it was extreme amounts of shouting coming from downstairs. All the lights were on in the living room indicating than the argument had been going on for a while now.

"YOUR SUCH A FUCKING SLUT SARAH! YOUR AS BAD AS BLOODY DAUGHTER!"

"WHAT MY DAUGHTER DOES IS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!"

" YES IT FUCKING IS! SHE'S A DISGRACE, AND SO ARE YOU! I ONLY MARRIED YOU BECAUSE I NEEDED THE MONEY!"

I reach the edge of the living room just in time to see my mothers hand swing round and slap Ian across his cheek. His nostrils flare in response. She begins to back away as the anger builds up inside him. He storms towards her and pushes her to the ground before repeatedly kicking her in the stomach. My breath catches in my throat and tears prick my eyes. I hadn't always disliked my mother, and now, when she being beaten by the same god forsaken man who would beat me, I suddenly felt an emotion of anger and passion for her. Only when I see her body go limp do I run in.

"IAN! STOP, STOP!" I scream, pushing him out the way and kneeling beside her body, cradling her head in my lap. I bring me ear close to her mouth, praying and begging for the sound of her breathing, but all I can hear is my own and the upbeat gasp of Ian. I whip my head around and choke out the two most unbearable words I will probably ever have to say.

"She's dead.."

Ian narrows his eyes at me and he scratches the back of his head. Now its my turn to rage.

"CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE YOU IDIOT! SHE'S NOT BREATHING!" I scream at him pushing his legs at the same time. He quickly fumbles around in his pocket for his phone then walks out the room. I close my eyes, trying to think back to the all the medical programmes I had watched, all the lives I had seen get held onto by the fingertips of young doctors and nurses.

I move round the to side of her body and put one of my hands on top of the other. I had never done CPR before, but I had to try. Anything to save her.

I start to pump up and down on her chest, doing my best to copy what I had seen on TV.

"The ambulance is going to be here in under 15 minutes" a small voice speaks from behind me.

I look around to see Ian, white as a sheet, hands shoved deep in the torn pockets of his jeans. I had never seen this Ian before. The sad, quiet, innocent almost apologetic Ian.

"You speak a word of this to anyone" he threatens, but he didn't need to continue. I knew what he would do and he knew that with a threat like that, I wouldn't even dare to breath a word.

After pumping mums chest for a while, I go on to giving her mouth to mouth. It felt weird, putting my mouth to hers. For starters she was a girl, and secondly, she was a my mum. I don't think I have had contact with her as close as that for about 14 years. It was discomforting and almost made me yearn for the days when it was just her, my real dad and I. Where I was loved in the bosom of my parents, and when the sky had darkened and all the evil of the world creeped out onto the streets, I would be sat at home with my mum and my dad and I could fall asleep instantly while they read me a storybook. No nightmares, no petty arguments, just me and the two people I had loved most in this world.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I wake up in a chair next to Mum who was currently a deep coma in the hospital bed. Her brown locks sprawled out on her pillow like a halo, a slight smile on her lips, her skin- that normally looked so worn and dry like she washed with sandpaper instead of soap- was now a milky colour and looked so soft and smooth.

I pick up her hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know whether you can hear me, mum, but if you can then please listen" I say softly. The times when Ian and mum weren't together were very rare and now, I wanted to take this opportunity to say everything I had been bottling up inside me over the years.

"When I saw...when I saw you fall to the ground and your body go limp, I almost died inside myself. Recently I have been thinking a lot about the old days, with you and Dad, and it made me so grateful to have you. Most of the time your a drunk, despicable mess and you treat me like shit" I break to laugh "but you're still my mother, and I love you. And I must confess, I can be a bloody bitch to you to sometimes, but never, ever EVER would I give away all those happy memories with you and dad, not even for the world. When I put my ear to your mouth, and heard that deafening silence that met my ear, I felt like my whole world had crumbled to pieces right before my eyes, and I was holding the rubble in my trembling hands; and when I looked back at Ian, I knew. I knew that without you, I would never be able to have those pieces put back together and everything would have been thrown away in the trash. Because without you, I wouldn't be here right now...Ian, he would have won and we would both be up there somewhere with Nonna and Nonno. But you are here, you are alive- just- and if you ever leave me again....." I choke out the last few words and tears as I wipe my nose along my sleeve.

The constant beep of her life support fills the emptiness of the room, the wires tangling round the bottom of her bed. I watch the line bounce up and down on the screen, mapping out carefully each and every beat of her heart.

"How is she doing?"

I don't look up at him, just mumble in response.

"What happens if she never wakes up, what will happen to you-"

"- shut up Ian, dont you think you've said enough already!" I snap back at him. I wait for him to say something back but he obeys me and keeps his mouth shut. I didn't want to speak to him right now, not unless he could come up with a way to wake her. That's all that mattered right now. I could take a beating from Ian, I could take abuse from the kids at school, I could even take being sexually assulted by him , but not this. She cant go. She cant leave me.

*"Dahlia! What's wrong!" my mother coo's stroking my hair, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Mummy!" I sniff "I thought you had left me, I thought you had gone!" I grab her leg, bringing it close to my face. She picks me up, holding me tight to her chest, placing kisses on my forehead.

"I will never leave you, Dahlia" she says softly

"Promise?" I ask, wrapping my baby finger around hers

"Pinky promise" she smiles*