routine

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every morning
i wake up
i hit snooze
too many times
but once i have just five minutes
until i actually have to move
for the day
i set a timer
and lay
on my back
hands clasped
over my chest
perfectly still
barely breathing
i'm imagining
what it's like
to be dead
i don't want to die
i don't actively seek death
but sometimes those five minutes
are the only moments
in which i feel okay

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