Since the wedding, a week passes, then a month, then three. Anna and Jayden have moved back into their apartment, which was a good thing; those empty rooms were practically begging them to. The house was very quiet now without them gone but at least things were starting to become fairly normal these days.
So I got on with my studies. It's been a while since I've spent any of my energy on it. The semester didn't begin until yesterday, though. In case you were wondering, I'm an online law student at Lilly Mae University. My preferred career choice? Not quite. But I'm a girl who takes time to figure out what's meant for her. And it's what my parents wanted. I know, a degree in law wasn't going to be like a walk in the park; neither is it exciting.
I was always a high academic achiever in high school. Back then, I wanted a fun career, to open my own shop or cafe. 'It's a waste of your knowledge,' my father would always say. I wondered if he was right. But it doesn't matter, as I sit there, pen in hand, writing away.
Six hours go by. I wonder how Anna was. In her last visit, Anna's stomach was perfectly rounded. Like a balloon ready to pop. Every second seemed to tick by so fast. I wanted to harness it, I wanted to hold on to the time forever. One day passing would mean one day closer to Anna leaving.
When you have something unwanted waiting to happen in the future, you want it to stop time altogether. It was because it was our only hope, if we could slow everything down. Less pain.
The last time I felt like this was before my interview at Lilly Mae. Something didn't feel right. It wasn't a dread, more like an uncomfortableness. Everytime I remembered that thought, my mind wanted to throw it out. Get rid of it.
So I ran to the flower fields. It was Autumn; but the blooms were still as beautiful as ever. I trailed through the field, wanting to get lost in amongst the petals. I grew a desire to want to stay in the warm golden sun forever. The breeze surrounds you like the fabric of a flowing dress. And it's almost like the flowers themselves understand, like they can sense what you feel. But then I heard my name being called from the balcony above and the moments of magic were over.
When we got there I fidgeted. I babbled. I rambled. I kept licking my lips. I couldn't retain eye contact and looked all around the room as I was speaking...yet despite all that it seemed that they accepted me. Perhaps they felt sorry for me, or noticed what a respective title my dad has and had no choice. Anyway, I got in. The acceptance letter, which turned out to be an acceptance email (it's not like the movies) was a relief with fear intertwined with the other. I know I was supposed to jump up and down and celebrate with my parents, then they'd tell me how proud they were and we'd all go out for dinner, but I just sat there and nothing much happened. Okay, mum and dad did say a 'well done' and 'great job' (they're not that careless) but no dinner or jumping up and down.
From: Faculty@lmuniversity.com.au
To: Miss Tara Elise <tara.elise@gmail.com>
Subject: Lilly Mae University application
Sent: Jan 8, 10.03 am
Dear Miss Elise,
I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has admitted you to Lilly Mae University. Please accept my personal congratulations for your outstanding achievements.
In recent years, nearly twenty thousand students have applied for the four thousand places available in this university. Faced with many more talented and highly qualified candidates than it has room to admit, the Admissions Committee has taken great care to choose individuals who present extraordinary academic, extracurricular and personal strengths.
By early February, you will receive an invitation to visit the campus from Friday, March 1st, to Sunday, 3rd. We think the experience will be interesting and useful in making your final career choice. Of course, we would also be happy to have you visit at some other time and we hope you will make a special effort to do so if you will be unable to join us in March.
Especially if you cannot come to Lilly Mae University during the next several months, please do not hesitate to contact us if we can be of help in any way. You will find our application booklet and our website (http://www.lillymaeuni.admissions.edu/) are good sources of information about college life and we will be sending you a course catalog in Autumn to help familiarize you with our academic opportunities.
You have until Jan 28 to respond to our offer. However, we are enclosing with this letter a reply card for your use in case you are able to inform us of your decision before the May 1 reply date. A complete admission packet will be mailed to you in early February.
We very much hope that you will decide to attend, and we look forward to having you join us in April.
Yours sincerely,
Matthew k. Parsons
Dean of Admissions and legal studies
Anna was proud. 'You'll go further than I ever will," she laughed. She never knew how wrong she had been. So very, very wrong.
I attended the campus early that Autumn, but it's not like it mattered when you were part of the online program. It was a big, big place though. It's a newly built campus, equipped with shiny glass doors and windows and a library the size of the staple centre. It has a modern sort of look to it, like someone had stacked a bunch of rectangular prisms on top of each other and called it an artwork. Camilla was there with me, although she wasn't for most of the time; she's studying graphic design. It sounded interesting, and like it would most definitely suit her.
Everything seemed so hyped. Like it was a better version of the reality at this place. The professors were more enthusiastic, the people were willing to socialise and even the cars in the parking lot seemed a little bit shinier.
Something about coming home after that day was more relieving than any other. I wanted to wash off all of the brand-newness off me. I'm more of a vintage sort of girl. Older things have more character, in my opinion.
∞
