Bad Habits (Shameless)

Samara

                        CHAPTER 1

My mother always told me, to be indipendent and to not let anyone walk all over me..
Yes, I might be a little girl, but I know what I've been going through, all my life was a completely mess, and it still is..
My father overdosed, he really liked smoking, and not just that, drinking, gambling, but there was something that he couldn't live without..
Drugs, they were his priorities, more than me, my mother and my brothers, more than he himself..
And that took him to his death..
I certainly didn't have the perfect father, he didn't care about his own family, he only cared about his business, my mom wasn't better than him, she was always out, with her friends, at the Alibi, drinking and flirting with the waiters and why not, even with the waitresses..
She didn't care about the fact she was married, at all, my father was never at home, so she always had a valid excuse, what about my brothers, oh yes..
Logan, the biggest, is sixteen, so I let you imagine, he's never at home, like all of my family, he's always with his bitch, Kate..
He passes all his time there, in her house, doing the same shit that every boyfriend and girlfriend do, he neither come home for dinner, so..
And, then, there is Oliver, my little brother, he's only three, and I always take care of him, instead of my mother, one day I saw him with a Knife in his hands, because my mom, received a call from her friends, whose invited her for a drinking night at the Alibi, and she hadn't even noticed that Oliver had taken the knife and was playing with it..
Mom goals, yes but in the trash..

Every day is the same, waking up, doing breakfast, feeding Oliver and waiting for my mom to come home, from one of her drinking nights at the alibi, and Logan, I don't even wait for him , I know that he just come home for money..

I get dressed, and I do the laundry, like every damn day, with Oliver is impossible having clean clothes.., then I clean home and I make lunch for everyone..

"Samara" - Oliver called me from the living room, he surely needed something..
I ran to him, with eyes still watering from cutting onions and I saw his t-shirt dirty with blood, and a knife in his right hand

Always the same story, it's time to put this knives really further from him..
I went back to the kitchen, I took a little bit of paper to clean the shirt from the blood an then I ran to the bathroom to take the first aid kit..

Then I went to him, and I started disinfecting the cut in his right hand, when he suddenly called me again..

"Samara" - he murmured, looking down to his shirt, and try to clean it by himself, while I was laughing inside
Then he looked over at me

"Samara, why are you crying?" - he asked, seeing my eyes still tearing from before

"Oh, don't worry kid, I just cut the onions" - I smiled, taking off his shirt and putting it in the dirty laundry, when he came to me..

"Where is mommy? She'd supposed to be here.. " - he asked with teary eyes, as I looked the clock, it was 4 p.m,she was supposed to be here by 2..
She was late, and the only thing that I could have done, was looking for her, and I also know where..

I ran to Oliver's room, then I took one of his shirts and I put it on him and I ran out of home..
I walked past all the neighborhood, the streets were filled with boys, probably the same age as my brother Logan, with bags filled with weapons, and drugs..
I quicken my pace when I found myself in front of them, and they noticed it..

"Don't worry girl, we won't hurt you, you're too little for us" - they chuckled, high five between them, as I continued walking through the neighborhood, pulling closer Oliver to my chest..

Later like 10 minutes I was there, at the Alibi, I knew the way because sometimes, very often, I went there for studying, my house was a brothel compared to there, and most of my friend were there..