bnha oneshots x male reader !

[hawks] fly with no wings -

- ANGST like, extreme angst please do not read this if you struggle with suicidal thoughts or drug abuse.-
[suicide , intrusive thoughts , drugs]

i'm warning you, literally.
.
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you had always looked up to the nation's number 2 pro hero.

winged hero hawks.—a man who was just too fast for anyone to keep up with and as the name suggests, winged.

the moment you graduated UA you knew you wanted to work under him. from what started as being a sidekick moved to being friends with benefit to finally lovers.

your early days as lovers were sweet, he was caring and romantic and life couldn't get any better.

but of course, it was short lived. dating the number 2 hero wouldn't be easy for you. it started with the harmless distasteful comments from the fans to getting straight up death threats.

hawks had always made it his first priority to make sure you felt safe but he's also japan's beloved hero / model. that meant less time for you and more time for work.

even as a couple, you rarely get to sleep in the same bed at night. he'd be patrolling for days on end and on days where he was home, he'd be too tired for you.

you knew what you were getting yourself into, dating him but you were never built for it. after all, you're just a low rank quirk possessor.

"keigo? are you sleeping here tonight?"—"i'm busy this week baby, i've got press conferences and dinners to attend to. i'm sorry." his eyes were sympathetic but those don't work on you anymore.

he plants a quick kiss on your forehead before tying a new wing on the chain you had around your neck. "just whisper to it whenever you miss me, hm?" he slides it down your shirt, kissing you.

you nod weakly as you hear him leave your shared apartment which you knew he wouldn't be back in at least a week.

you haven't been telling him about the constant harassment you've been receiving from his fans lately, some would tell you to kill yourself, some might remind you that you're just a nobody and that you don't deserve to be with hawks.

you've been fed the same things over and over again that you started believing them. you were sick of the comments but you were even sicker of the lack of attention you were receiving from your partner.

you walk over to your bedroom and sat in bed, your phone constantly dinging at you showing new notifications of random people harassing you on all your social media accounts.

you had initially deactivated your accounts but hawks insisted that you kept them up for 'good social presence' you knew better than to mess with his social status so you agreed against your will.

you felt insane. you weren't your own person anymore. it was like you were being punished for loving.

"you don't deserve him"
"do us a favor and die"
"you're ruining hawks' image"
"you're not good for him"

the messages drove you to your limit and you decided that you've had enough. your hands quick to search for the box you had hidden under the bed.

you had kept your stash in there. coming from a family of addicts and junkies, you didn't fall off too far from the tree. you've grown past convincing yourself that you're better than them.

on days where you were alone with your thoughts and the harassment, you'd turn to drugs. hard drugs.

hawks always thought you were clean since the last time he caught you tripping but he's easy to fool when he's so fucking busy all the fucking time.

you grab the small bag of white snowlike powder and pour some on your spoon, heating it up with your lighter and injecting it through your arm with a dirty syringe.

you suck your teeth as you feel the substance course through your veins, giving you a false sense of euphoria. you don't care that it isn't real, it made you 'happy'.

you groan feeling a sharp pain in your arm as blood trickled down your nose.

how could a drug abuser date a hero? you laugh in defeat at how pathetic you felt. how pathetic all of this felt to you.

"why am i not enough?" you desperately tried to speak to the feather hawks had left behind for you.

"why, my keigo?" "speak to me, please.." your voice faint as tears spilled out your eyes. you just needed him there. why won't he speak to you?

"i should.. i should do it" a laugh escaping your lips as you choke on your tears.

"i should show you that i... i can.. i can fly with no wings" your laughter grew as you pulled the feather away from you, tossing it on the bed before stumbling out to the balcony.

hawks loved the view from the balcony, he said he'd fly you around the world one day but maybe, maybe he never meant those words.

why would he? "winged hero hawks, i'll show you! how to fly tonight..look closely," you slur to the feather, laying flat on your bed. "i'll show you tonight" you fall to your knees as you feel the cold air against your skin.

your phone rang loudly as hawks tried to call you over and over again. he knew this was getting bad.

the tears and the thoughts wouldn't stop.

"jump off, jump off, jump off."

" do it y/n. jump."

you scream at nothing as you begged the voices to stop. you were curled into a ball, close to the edge of the balcony, crying. just this once you wished you had keigo here with you.

"keigo watch me" your voice small as you stood up straight, as close as you could possibly to the edge. "watch me"

the door to your apartment flew open as your boyfriend calls out to you.

"Y/N STOP. STOP, PLEASE. IT'S ME. PLEASE?"

winged hero hawks wasn't fast enough for this one.

you plummet down the stories of apartments, watching your life flash before your eyes.

this was it.

hawks frantically ran to the balcony where you had jumped off "y/n? y/n please.. p-please baby"
he was too late.

he spread his wings to fly down and catch you before a loud thud rang through his ears.

his eyes shot open as he fell to his knees where you had originally took your own life from.

"y-y/n..?"

too late.
y/n didn't think he'd need wings to fly.