Not out (On Hold)

Which sucks, by the way

Hope POV
I am currently waiting for Josie to come to my room. She said she needed to talk to me but when I asked if it was good or bad she didn't answer so I'm gonna go on a limb and say it's bad. I'm pacing around the room thinking of any and every thing I could've done wrong. *knock knock*

Hope: "Come in"

Josie: "Hi"

Hope: "Hi"

Her eyes are bloodshot red and have bags under them. She's either super tired or been crying. Or both

Hope: "Are you ok?"

Josie: "No"

Hope: "What happened?"

I take a step closer to her but she backs away like she's afraid of something. Is it me? I look at her with a confused face and she takes a deep breath

Hope: "Did I do something to make you afraid of me?"

Josie: "No, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just...I can't do this"

Hope: "What can't you do?"

Josie: "Us, Hope. I can't do us"

Hope: "What do you mean?"

Josie: "We can't be together"

My entire face drops and I back away from her

Josie: "It's not you, it's me"

Hope: " Don't give me that bullshit Josie. When did you decide this? Because two days ago you were talking about how you wanted to be with me"

Josie: "I still do. More than anything but I can't do that to you. I can't hurt you like this. All I'm doing is leading you on"

Hope: "That's not your decision to make. I make my own decisions, and I decide that I want to be with you"

Josie: "Your right. I can't make your decisions for you, but I can make my own. I choose no"

Hope: "No, hell no. I don't accept that. Step out of your codependency cycle and be selfish for once. For once, do what you want and stop worrying about how others will feel. How the hell would I get hurt by being with you anyways?"

Josie: "Because I can't be what you need me to be. I can't do what you want me to do so your just end up leaving me"

Hope: "I'm choosing to be with you Josette, why would I leave you and how are you so certain that I will?"

Josie: "Because it's happened before. And in the end I ended up hurt"

Hope: "I'm not your ex, I'm nothing like her. I know how it feels to be left and despite what you think, I would never do that to someone else"

Josie: "I'd rather not risk it. Please respect my choice"

Hope: "Fine. Do what the hell you want"

Josie: "Please don't be mad at me. Can we just be friends?"

I let out a dry chuckle

Hope: "You...want to be friends? Are you fucking kidding?"

I get so pissed that I turn around and throw a lamp at the wall then punch a whole into it. Josie grabs my arm and asks me to calm down but I take her and off of me

Hope: "Don't. Don't touch me and don't tell me to calm down. Actually don't do anything. Just leave and have a nice got damn life"

I open the door for her. She tries to say something after she walks out but I shut the door in her face. I walk to the bathroom to clean the blood off of my hand and wrap it. I think it might be broken and I should go to the nurse but I don't feel like feeling with people right now. Maybe tomorrow. But right now all I want to do is cry and sleep. Despite everything, I'm not mad her. I don't blame her for anything, it's her choice and I respect that. I lay down and just break into tears. After a while I fall asleep