Thoughtless | BTS Namjoon

Chapter 14

The following day I let my guests have their rest. It was Saturday and they should have had some more rest before their schedule would become busier again.
April was about to become hell of a month, the release of the Japanese album 'Face Yourself', some of the members should appear on media and the fan meetings in Japan.
Their schedule was filled with training, mine was filled with preparation for everything. Equipment needed to be replaced, their outfits had to be chosen and adjusted, the locations were having questions about the stages.

With a mug of coffee I made myself comfortable on the sofa and grabbed my MacBook to log into my BigHit account, so I could work on some of the stuff.
I also was still annoyed about Namjoon being with Jimin over night, and I didn't want to get too much into this. It was stupid, nothing worth to argue about.
Opening my mails, I saw all the flagged emails which were most important. Taking in the taste of the coffee with milk I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I put on my headphones and started to work, my iPad next to me giving me the details of the information I needed.

After a few hours, which was actually noon then, Amara appeared in my living room. Her hair was messily tied in a bun and makeup strains were under her eyes.
"Yah... are you working again?" My friend's voice was raspy and she cleared her throat walking towards me, before she took a sip of my coffee. Which made me gasp.

"That is my coffee." I raised my eyebrows at her and she just shrugged it off. Amara glimpsed at my devices and rubbed her eyes. Before she groaned and sat on the carpet.

"You ran out of tea. Where do all these mails come from? And I won't even say anything about you working on the weekend. By the way, where is your clingy somehow date?" Her tired eyes looked at me, but I tensed and just stared at the screen in front of me. My right hand was fine after the few weeks of rest and I balled it and opened it. Over and over again. Feeling some sort of comfort from it.

"I don't know probably sleeping with Jimin, his new date. Anyway, the mails are all about the fanmeeting in April in Japan and the upcoming release of the Japanese album. I will need you to attend the shootings with Hobi and Jimin next week." She nodded and I softly smiled before I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
"Go back to sleep and cuddle your Kookie." Amara's face reddened and she lowered her gaze.

"We are not like that." With a deep sigh I looked at her and got closer, whispering into her ear.
"I smell lies. But just know I won't tell anyone. And this house will always be a safe place for you." A grin appeared on her face and one more time I squeezed her hand gently, before she left me alone.

Not long after that a sleepy Jin appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Face slightly swollen, lips puffy and small eyes he looked somewhat adorable. Blinking and without a word he stared at me like zombie.
"You're alright?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he just kept blinking before he finally opened his mouth to speak with a pout in his voice.

"Breakfast?" I pressed my lips closed to contain my laughter and made my way towards the kitchen. He followed me like a little child and I pushed him onto a chair in the kitchen before I switched on the coffee machine.

"You're okay with cereals?" Jin just nodded and I poured some into a bowl for him before I added some yoghurt and honey. When I heard the bell, I placed the bowl in front of the sleepy Seokjin and made my way to open the door.
Unknowing who it was I opened and was faced with Namjoon, who was wearing comfy sweatpants, the usual hoodie and a hat.
My body tensed at his appearance, I was still annoyed about the situation of the evening before.

"Hey." He smiled and leaned forward to peck my lips, what I allowed. But I didn't really lead him inside. I only closed the door behind him and he knew something was off by my facial expression. We stayed there in the hallway and I crossed my arms.
"What's wrong?"

What was I supposed to say? That I was jealous of his band mate? It would have been idiotic. There was nothing to be jealous about, they were drunk and they were all anyway very close. Neither was it his responsibility to sleep at my place every night or when I would have liked it. "Nothing." A weak try to avoid further questions of him, especially since my face was always an open book for everyone. At that moment it probably looked like I bit into a lemon.

"Yeah I can totally see that." Namjoon chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't sleep over here with you. But it's not like the weekend is over. We can still have some time for us." I felt my annoyance increasing and shook my head to say no.

"Actually I don't have a free weekend. I have to answer loads of emails and prepare a lot of stuff for the upcoming month." His forehead furrowed and he made a step towards me while I lowered my gaze to the floor.

"Munhee don't overwork yourself. You should take the weekend off and relax..." With stern voice I interrupted him. Again we were touching a sensitive topic for me and I was not in a relaxed mood but I actually didn't want to argue.

"I appreciate your concern but that can't wait." Joon's jaw was tightening and he bit the insides of his cheeks. He wanted me to adjust to his schedule, which I understood, but I just had too much work on my desk. And if he would have stayed with me I wouldn't have been able to work efficiently.
What I didn't see coming was the issue which was literally coming into the hallway behind me.

"Munhee-ssi, your phone is vibrating..." Jin approached us and slowed down when he saw Joon.
"Everything alright?" There was still a hint of sleepiness in his voice and I got a glance at the darkening eyes of Namjoon, before I turned to answer the older member.

"I'll answer it in a minute." He nodded and went back, when I turned around Namjoon stared over my shoulder. Tracing Jin with his eyes before he shot me a gaze.

"Why is Jin hyung here? Already?" His voice was serious and with one eyebrow raised in confusion I answered him.

"He slept with me since you didn't. He was worried I wouldn't get enough sleep." Namjoon's hands were balling into fists and he took some deep breaths. I didn't see the problem in that, we shared the bed and I got four hours of sleep. That was a fair bargain to me.
In the end we were friends, and Jin cared for me.

"Munhee I really need to talk to you. Now." The seriousness in his voice made me agree, together we turned around and went into my bedroom.
I sat down on my bed and Joon leaned against the closed door, staring at the ceiling.

"I don't like it that Jin slept with you in one bed. And I don't want to be mad at you or Jin Hyung. Because I know there is nothing to be mad about, but I just think we need to talk out our boundaries." With a sigh I leaned my head on the palm of my head and looked down on the floor inspecting the pattern of the wooden floor, when Joon continued.
"It's not like I think you are cheating, I just don't feel comfortable with you sharing a bed with another man." I could hear the sincerity in his voice and lifted my gaze to see his face.

"Namjoonah I didn't just invite him to sleep in my bed. Actually since you slept over a few times, I noticed I sleep better if someone is next to me. But you were drunk and Jimin insisted on you staying with him. You were the one who told Jin hyung about my sleeping disorder, when he asked how I've been I told him that I sleep better with you next to me. And as you weren't showing any intentions in coming with me he decided to provide his presence. It helped, I got four and a half hours of sleep and finished reading my book." Against my expectation Joon furrowed his eyebrows and looked quite annoyed and confused.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Indignation was in his voice and I leaned back on my bed. I was confused and didn't know what his actual problem was.

"Because it's not your responsibility to take care of my sleeping disorder. You have enough on your plate with the upcoming schedule. And I didn't think it was worth to mention." This time he was looking angrily at me and tightened his jaw. His voice slightly rose and I closed my eyes as I felt my temper rising.

"Could you stop deciding for me? I can decide on my own how much I can handle and balance. And I thought when we talked at the dorm I made clear, that I want to take care of you." It was like a repeating cycle. We were arguing about the same stuff all over again.

"But I don't want you to overwork yourself. In first line you are BTS' leader and you have to take care of the members." The annoyance was audible in my voice and I lifted my body to meet Namjoon's tensed face.

"Damn Munhee, I want to do all these things for you! If I wouldn't care about you, we wouldn't date. And that also means that I want you to trust me, that I want you to come to me first if you have a problem! But you just keep me on distance, telling me that you have to work while Jin hyung is here? And Jungkook?" This was stupid, and it annoyed me because he was right. But I was trying to keep myself safe and to look out for him and the members.

Suddenly the door opened and Amara entered the room, pushing Joon out of he way before she threw glances, which could have killed at us. He whole posture was intimidating and she rubbed her eyes before she spoke up.