You Can't Save Everyone

Chapter 12 - Grief is a powerful thing

READER WARNING - NEEDLES, HOSPITAL SCENES, SMUT - BDSM, KNIFE PLAY

A/N- I didn't hold back y'all, ENJOY ;)

Y/N POV

My brain woke up before my body could catch up so I was stuck in a sort of limbo. I heard the beeps of machines, the sounds of a pump working and the low hum of the air conditioning. People were muttering urgently around me and I strained my hearing to listen.

"I'm telling you all, that's what the test results clearly indicate." Bruce said frustrated.

"It's not possible Bruce. People can just be re-engineered like that." Nat exclaimed.

"It shouldn't be possible for Cap or Barnes to be here too after living technically over a century but here they are! The results may be shocking but they aren't wrong. How else do you explain her still being alive?!" Tony countered, siding with Bruce.

"Do you think she knows?" Wanda asked and I felt a lot of eyes fall on me.

"Only she can tell us that." Steve replied.

"Why isn't she awake yet? I thought you said her scans are clean." Bucky said urgently.

"They are. There's no medical reason for her not to be awake yet." Bruce replied.

"Maybe she doesn't want to wake up. She knows what's waiting for her when she does... or rather who's not waiting for her. A lot of Vets from the VA stuggled to wake up from comas when they were troubled psychologically" Sam said sadly.

Hearing those words was like being stabbed with a red hot poker. A small part of me had hoped I'd hallucinated the events at the Rome base or that Bruce would have found a way to save Kayleigh and Leanne. From the tone of Sam's statement, I could tell neither was the case.

Someone got closer to me, lowering into a chair so they didn't tower over me.

"Can you give me a minute with her please?" Bucky said much louder than before telling me he was the person now sat beside me.

"Sure." Steve said and multiple sets of footsteps left the room.

Bucky's warm hand rested on my right one led at my side. He interlocked our fingers and let out a deep sigh.

"Bruce can't be sure if you can hear me y/n... but if you can... I wish things were different. I know the last thing you probably want to do is wake up in a world without your family ... but I promise you... you're not alone. I'm here when you're ready to wake up. There's so much to tell you... and Jess is going to need you just like you need her."

My attention spiked at the mention of Jess's name. She was alive.

I channelled all my effort into forcing my eyes open. They opened only partially to begin with but with the little strength I had I pushed them open wider. Bucky had his forehead resting on our joined hands and he looked broken. My heart ached seeing him so vulnerable but right now, my only concern was for Jess.

"Is she ok?" I said, my voice hoarse and croaky.

Bucky's head shot up and he looked at me with an expression of mixed shock and clear relief.

"You're awake..." Bucky said softly as if he couldn't believe it.

"I'm fine Bucky." I said dismissing is concern. The fact that my entire body felt weak and I had an excruciating headache didn't matter to me. I just needed to know that I didn't lose everyone. "Is Jess ok?" I repeated.

"She will be." Bucky said with a small smile and he pointed to my left.

I slowly turned my head trying to avoid the room spinning and saw her led in the bed next to mine. Her leg was in a complicated splint and she had several machines connected to her, the most concerning being a ventilator that was breathing for her.