Alone {Jenlisa}

Not good

Jennie Pov

They were standing in front of us THE BIG BANG this is crazy, well we are from the same company so of course but I'd never expect a callab.

"Hi I'm rose" She said shaking T.O.P hand and then going down the line.

Lisa and Jisoo then followed.

I just stood there still in shock, not really showing it in my face but in my body I couldn't move. I'm honestly a big fan.

"Jennie" Jisoo said calling me over to greet them.

My legs finally started moving

"Jennie right?" Gdragon said. YAASSS HE KNOWS MY NAME!!!!!

"Yeah the one and only, g dragon right" I said being sarcastic. Of course it's gdragon, he giggled.

"Yeah the one and only." He copies then I started greeting the others.

"So Big Bang you guys could sit in the back as they finish their rehearsal.
And blackpink you guys need to go fill out for this."
Manager said.

I know he only said that cus Big Bang is here but I still did it.

By the end of the rehearsal all my water bottles were finished but for some reason I wasn't sweating as much.

On the other hand Lisa looked like she was gonna pass out.
I was walking towards her until g dragon stopped me .

(I'm just gonna say gd from now cus it's extra long to write his full stage name)

"You did great, I couldn't take me eyes off of you." He said catching me off guard.

"Thanks" I blushed.
"No I could always do better." I said
"But that was perfect to me" He said.
"Your too kind" I looked around the room and Lisa was gone.

"Hey um I was wondering if you wanted to go eat thins Saturday I know that that's you guys
Only day off but I really want to spend more time with you and get to know you more."
He said.

I was too busy looking around the room for Lisa that I just responded "yeah sure why not, um I'll be back." He said about I walk out the studio.

"Ok I'll ask your manager for you numb-" I couldn't hear another word cus I closed the door.

Where is she.
I went to the bathroom and I heard sobbing in the third stall, I looked down and saw Lisa's shoes.

"Lisa is that you in here, please open the door I'm really worried." I said she stopped sobbing and I could hear her taking out tissue.

She opened the stall and walked right passed me washing her hands.

"Lisa what's wrong." I said
"Nothing" She said not even looking up the mirror to see my reaction.
I grabbed her arm and she snatched it out of my hand.

"I said nothing please leave me alone your too clingy gosh stop worrying about me!!" She yelled leaving me in shock.

I love Lisa so much and I was just worried I felt a tear coming down my face, and she just walked out the restroom and slammed the door.

I don't know what I did wrong.
I- I'm so confused.

My heart was beating fast yet no emotion was on my face just one tear down my face.
I slowly walked out the bathroom kinda in shock and over thinking about everything.

As everyone was dismissed from rehearsal we all got in the car, Lisa took an Uber which made me even more upset not at her but as me.

What did I do wrong, obviously I did something wrong but I don't know.

"Jennie, are you ok" Jisoo said catching me off guard.

"Yeah just a thought." I said.

"If you need to talk to me about anything I'm always here." She said.

"Yeah I know." I said looking back at the window.

You are so selfish how could you do that to Lisa
What the , why am I thinking this what is happening.

You are a horrible person
You mess up blackpink
Everyone already hates you
And then you hurt Lisa

What ??? I huh

We got home and all I could think about was a relapse.

I can't go back to that, I hated that I'm losing the one person I truly really care about a lot and I don't know why, I hate myself right now and I want to forget about it. Jisoo took my damn pills now this depression shii is hitting way harder right now all I want to do is cry.

I walked in the dorm just to see Lisa on the couch. She looked at me for a second then looked back at her phone.

I went straight to my room and locked the door, I went to the room and found my razor locked the bathroom and just started cutting I couldn't stop, it wasn't just Lisa ignoring me it was everything coming back to be, all the scandals and the hate and me regretting everything.

By no time there were 15 scars on my arm bleeding out, my eyes widen at what I just did to my self. I regretted everything I hurried and cleaned it up and wrapped my arm with the arm bandages.

I changed my shirt to a long sleeve hoodie and sweats and went in the living room where the rest of them were, as if nothing happened.

Rose looked at me with sad eyes,
"Jennie were you crying your eyes are red." Rose said which cause all of them to look at me even Lisa.

"No u-um my contacts got stuck so my eyes got a little red that's all." I said
"Ok" she believed it.

Of course she believes it, she doesn't really care duh, you must be dumber than I thought.

I looked and shut my eyes trying to ignore the thought but it kept coming harder and harder with more and more hurtful comments. I stood up and walked back to the room and just went to sleep.

I know it was still daytime so I just took a quick nap until it was dinner.