Alone {Jenlisa}

The date night

Jennie pOv

This was very random and unnecessary, I don't want Lisa to know the truth, the reason why I skip therapy is because I'm scared. I'm scared that if I say something like "I want to die right now" they will put me in a mental hospital and trust me I say that a lot but only when I just feel like the world is ending or something.

But I've been having the urge to cut lately and I don't have any razors since they took out everything.

I don't have my depression pills sooo my panicked attacks that happen in the room would probably kill me one day.

I'm just tired, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, I feel like I'm being an attention seeker and that's why I don't want no one to worry about me, but even I worry about me, I feel like I'm slowly suffocating myself by excepting to just suffer.

I don't want Lisa to get involved because I love her, and I know in relationships that's what you want, for them to help you through everything but this.... only I could help myself.

I'm glad Lisa is eating again, well at least wanting to eat. I know this conversation is going to be all about me once again the depressed, ugly, insecure, attention seeker but I'm just gonna try to avoid it as much as possible and just have a date night with my girlfriend lisa.

After having a silent car ride we finally reach our destination, it was restaurant that we always went to during our trainee day, this place held so much memories.

Lisa kept glaring at me and just watching my every movement. It is 8:pm now and we are just here.

"How Many people?" The man at the desk said staring at Lisa as if he was looking at the most delicious food in the world.

" 2! only two." I said. A little jealous.

"Ok follow me." He walked us to the back of the restaurant and put two menus in from of us.

I looked at it still not making eye contact with Lisa.

It was awkward just being here, silent as if what just happened didn't happen.

"Jennie" Lisa said

I put the menu down just to see Lisa gazing at me with no emotion, well at least I couldn't point it out.

"Mmm?" I responded.
"What kdramas do you watch anyways, you said you wanted to watch some with me?" She said, I instantly smiled.

"Oh have you watched true beauty, or Alice in borderline those are nice I could binge any day. Oh and "not me" well that's not really a kdrama but it's still worth watching." I said happily.

"Mmm" She said nodding her head.

"When are you going to do a vlog on your YouTube channel, you told all of us you were creating one." Lisa said.

Honestly I don't know about that I already get sooo much hate on my Instagram and just hate on vlive
And I just don't feel like adding on.

" I'll do it eventually, but not any time soon." I said shaking the thought off.

"Why not I think You'd be a great YouTuber." Lisa said

I laughed
" yeah but not everyone would think so." I said with no thought.

"Who cares what everyone thinks." Lisa said.

" I do, and I care a little too much that every time I see a Hate comment I feel like I feel like-" I stopped my self before I said anything dumb.

Lisa softly touched my hand for comfort

"Jennie, you feel like what? Please tell me." She said.

I was holding in tears I hate talking about my feelings it gets me too emotional.

"I feel like.... disappearing." I said before letting out a long breath.

Before Lisa could say anything, the Man who told us to sit here came with a pin and paper.

"Ok may I take you girls order." He said winking at Lisa, anger was slowly boiling with this guys.

"Um right yeah we totally forgot about that", Lisa looked in the menu and just quickly ordered pasta for two. Then he left.

It was silent once again but this time a comfortable silence a part of me is glad I told lisa that, I'm glad I got it off my chest, and I'm happy it was her.

"You won't disappear tho." She said more as a serious question but you could hear the sadness in that question.

And the truth is I don't know, people always say once you become an idol you should expect the hate and stuff but that still doesn't make it right to do it. Especially to this extent.

It's like everything I do, they hate me and I have to act like it doesn't when really I want to cry at the moment.

"I can't make any promises." I whispered.

"What do you mean" Lisa said in a worried tone.

I just sighed.

I looked down at my fingers.

"Jennie, promise me if you feel sad or even think about hurting yourself you will come to me, Jennie promise me me that." Lisa said now serious and anxiously.

"I promise." I said

Hopefully I could keep that.

Soon enough our pasta came and we ate it talking about random things I laughed a little and so did Lisa, as much as I wouldn't want to admit it, tonight was exactly what I needed. With Lisa I am happy and I feel comfortable.

When we were finished the man came back with the receipt.

"So ladies how was your food?" He said.

"It was great that you." I said.

"What about you pretty girl?" He said looking at Lisa.

Lisa rolled her eyes.
"It was amazing now could you leave." She said.

I chuckled, that was rude but funny I'd definitely do the same.

He then touched her back and hair, softly.

"Oh so your a little feisty huh, those are the girls I like." He said.

Lisa then grabbed her water and poured the rest of it in his hair.

I stood there in shock mouth and eyes open and a grinned placed on my face.

Lisa looked at me signaling me to leave immediately.

I grabbed my phone and walk behind Lisa.

"Ayyy you girls get back here, you didn't even pay the bill." That's when Lisa remembered and she grabbed my hand as we ran out restaurant being chased out.

We basically passed the car runnng down the street but we had to get away.

When we looked back at no one behind us we slowed down.

I started laughing so hard that I almost couldn't breath.
Lisa was catching her breath chuckling too.

"That was the most funniest- thing-hahahahah, that happened all night." I said still laughing.

"You should've seen his face." Jennie laughed Lisa just stared at me smiling. I smiled too seeing her smile.

"Let's just walk around for now before we have to head back to the car." Lisa said.

It was now 11pm and we are just walking around the city looking at the moon shine it's brightest in us.

This is definitely a night I would remember.

I feel like I just escaped reality and made a romance series😂 I totally forgot they were idols in this chapter but I like this one. It's definitely the longest chapter I've written in the story so far. Hope y'all enjoyed it!!!