Alone {Jenlisa}

Betterthan life

Jennie's Pov

After rehearsal I went into my room and laid on the bed.

A moment of silence just me in the room while the wind blew through my window.

"I'm so tired." I said to myself.

Ever since debut I feel like time is going very fast but the bad things are lasting longer.

Things just stayed the same.

I think I should cancel the date with gdragon, well at least I thought was a date, but not a real one just a friendly one... right?

Anyways I'm canceling it so it doesn't matter.

I got on my phone and text the most sincere apology and decline the date we once set up, he tried to convince me to still go, but I just had to say no and put him in the friend zone.

For about 20 min I was just laying on my bed peacefully awake starting at the ceiling doing absolutely nothing.

This feeling is the best not thinking of anything not thinking about life just living.

I looked a my wrist as the cuts I made a couple of days ago start to heal.

I sighed at the thought and started to remember everything that happened that day and everything that led up to this very moment.

"I promise myself to never do this again, Jennie you do not deserve this you are amazing and beautiful and you are worth the world." I said to myself as a confirmation.

That actually lifted my mood for today, I just hope I keep my promise to myself, I'm afraid that when I'm at the lowest stage I might just cut deeper and ruin everything.

I'm actually hungry. Haven't ate anything today, maybe when I feel down or feel like doing what I promised myself not to do I'll go to Lisa and hopefully Lisa will go to me about the not eating thing.

I don't know why she would hurt herself in that ways, she is sooo pretty her body is literally perfect I don't know why, but I don't have a say sooo because I did bad too.

I just hope she will get better.

I got my phone to check on Instagram for s bit
And as expected a lot of notifications, I sighed but actual went on my story and played a little with the filters before posting one saying * cutie pie*

I smiled as I got 100 likes on my story in less then 30 sec.

I put my phone down and went in the living room, it was empty and unusually quiet.

I guess everyone is tired from rehearsals they all locked themselves in the room.

I chuckled as I was going to the refrigerator to get some thing to snack on.

I was recently watching this Kdrama and I paused because I had extra work to do but since I'm free right now I'll just watch that.

I went back into the room and got in my laptop and was chilling the rest of the day.

Honestly I'd rather do this everyday than life itself. It honestly is too much to handle.

Sorry this was soo basic I'm running out of ideas and that is very rare for me lol, but I'll ask a cousin or soo or if you guys would like to give me ideas I'm listening