ONLY MINE (JenniexFemale reader)

Ch.5 Crash and burn

Why am I so afraid of losing you?

When you aren't even mine...

Jennie's POV

    There I lay sobbing my little heart out, sprawled across my bathroom floor.
Jennie: "Goddammit Jennie! Your nothing but A fuck up!!"
I could've been here for 10 minutes or 10 hours, I don't even care anymore. I lost track of time and even cried through my piano lessons. I should be out at dinner with my family right now but instead I've been crawled up in a corner soaking in my own tears for god knows how long. All these years I've worked up to the day where I would finally tell Y/N how I feel about her. I finally mustered up the courage to tell her just to mess it up. When Y/N didn't understand what I was saying that was enough to shoot down all my confidence. At this rate it's gonna take me a while too gather up the courage again. The problem is I don't have another five years to gain my confidence back. I only have a couple more months left till my whole life changes forever. I was scared of what a new life looked like without Y/N in it. And I plan on never figuring out.
Jennie's mom: "Jennie sweetie, you need to get some water in you. Your gonna get a headache."

    This made me cry even more. Me and my mom don't have a very good relationship and she's never usually this nice. This is a sign that I must not really be doing very good if my mom steps in to help. She's never offered to help me with anything.
Jennie: "I fucked up mom and I don't need your help to make me feel better."
   'Jennie what the hell are you doing' I thought. I'm never usually mean to anyone at all let alone my parents. I was just so heartbroken, I wanted other people to at least feel an ounce of my pain.
The thought losing my lover scared me to my core. I don't even want to think about what life would be like without my angel. I'm usually confident but when it comes to Y/N it's a big deal that my mind can't come to terms with. My eyes were on fire but we're cooled down by the tears streaming down my face. My whole life I have been given everything I could've ever wanted. But the one thing I need to even feel complete as a human is Y/N. I felt empty and drained as my body fell completely numb. After all these years of preparing for this day I let my fears get the best of me. This whole time I have been silently fearing losing her. Now it was no secret. The reality hit me and it hit me hard. I have eight more months left to fix this. Even then I'm not guaranteed that Y/N is going to follow me. The thought of not being 100% assured of spending the rest of my life with her makes my brain pound. I've had years and years of time daydreaming about what our life would look like together. Our house, little date nights, places I wanted to take her. And of course our beloved children I hoped we would have the honor of having one day. Call me cliché for planning out my wedding but I truly feel my love for her embedded in my veins. She has always helped me through all of my struggles. Whether it was me having a panic attack at 3 AM and her waking up to answer my calls or her protecting me from my parents when we had fights. She was the one person who secured me. The one person who showed me they cared. It's easy to have people use you for certain advantages when you're rich but none of that mattered to her. I may be rich but she still works her ass off to provide the most for me. She knows better than anyone how bad me and my parents relationship is so she stepped up and gave me that comfort that I never had. Then in an instant my heart fell at ease when my crying was overpowered by the sound for her ring tone. It's almost like she knew something was up with me. Like she could feel it. I picked up.

Y/N's POV

'I love you' she said. It kept replaying in my mind. She had told me she loved me many times before but when I looked into her eyes I felt like I was looking through layers and layers of our past and it was all lining up and making perfect sense. She is my past present and future. I hate how the words 'I love you' is so overused. Saying 'I love you' is such a powerful statement that has been back washed with its meaning over the years. People say that they love stuff all the time. To me when you love something it is directed towards some thing or someone you would rather die than live without. When Jennie looked into my eyes and told me she loves me I felt like all of the meaning of that statement came flooding back to surface. She meant it. I know now it isn't surface level. Her statement is connected through years and years of our past together as children. Tell me I'm overthinking all you want. I know Jennie better than anyone that has ever laid an eye on her. I know the way Jennie works better than I know myself. And I'm dedicated to making sure I wasn't gonna let this beautiful Angel escape my grasp. I was gonna let her know how much I love her. Eventually...but for now I just needed to hear her voice.

Jennie's POV

Y/N: "Hey Jen! Are you okay? I couldn't help but feel like you were acting a little off Yesterday.

'Yesterday?' I checked my phone. 'Holy shit' I had cried through the night.
Jennie: "No no it's ok I'm fine. Just had a headache that's all."

I tried to sound as cheerful as I could but the long silence that occurred signaled to me that Y/N didn't believe me.

Y/N: "Hmm well will you be attending the dinner next week?"
Jennie: "What dinner?"
Y/N: "The annual dinner, duh. Did you forget about it? Your mom invited me. She said I could keep you company."
'Fuck'
Jennie: "y-yeah of course I'll go. I can't miss the big dinner! Haha"
I laugh awkwardly.
Y/N: "Well you better get ready it's almost your big day!"

    I had totally forgotten about the annual dinner my parents were hosting. The thought of it made me choke up even more. The dinner happens every single time a kid in my family graduates and goes off to the city to start their own business. Every single kid that has ever been born into my family has become insanely successful. That's why my family has money going way back. It's basically a way to celebrate my departure into the world of business. My family are all super snobby people that only care about money. The thought of me, their next grandchild becoming the owner of another huge company of course deserves a snobby people rich dinner with a bunch of fake commentary. I just know from experience this dinner is not gonna be a pleasant occasion. My mom knows this so of course she brings Y/N into it. The only person I truly care about is now being dragged into dangerous territory. Every single year without fail each kid is set up for marriage. That's how my mom married my dad. One of her family members brought him to her graduation dinner and convinced her into marriage. Just by the way my family works I know they're gonna set me up with some tall, rich, box brained man with an ego bigger than his dick. I liked girls and I knew my family wasn't gonna react well to it. Y/N doesn't come from a lot nor is she looking to go to college. I know all of this is just gonna piss my family off even more. But there I stood up, walked to my closet to look for the perfect outfit. The perfect outfit for a dinner in hell. No matter what I was gonna fight for me and Y/N's love. No money nor penthouse could ever drag me away from the one I was meant to be with all along. There was no backing out of this dinner. I had to face it full speed ahead. Whatever is planned for the dinner is definitely not going to be a friendly situation. I'm Jennie Ruby Jane Kim. Daughter of the most successful franchise owner in all of East Asia. I have power behind my name and I was certainly gonna use it. My mom inviting Y/N to this shit show sent a flame off in my brain. I declare war. After I'm done no one will dare to even think of ripping me away from my Angel. And I was ready to deal with it.

Whatever it takes

Authors note~
Sry this chapter is a little uneventful. This is just the preparation for the craziness of the next chapter.