(Red vs. Blue) Project Freelancer: The Other Agents

Shore Leave

Agent Vermont ducked down behind a boulder as a bullet zipped by her head. The rest of her squad had a delayed reaction then scrambled for cover as well.

"D***it, Howard!" she shouted at their stocky scout. "You were supposed to be watching for them!"

"I was," the blue in EVA armor put his hands on his hips. "I told you I'm the best at my job. See, I'll prove it to ya." The big man poked his head out from their cover and narrowly evaded a bullet that pinged the boulder. He slouched back down and pointed over his shoulder, "They're right ova there."

"You mule-head!" the blues' other Howard, Moe, grabbed him by his chestplate. "Samadda with you? You coulda had your head taken off." That would be a blessing at this point.

"That has got to be the stupidest thing I've seen all week, Vee!" New Hampshire called over to her from a position she had yet to determine. "And that's sayin somethin. You oughtta know by now that Athos here is a crack-shot."

"Hey!" Fine, their final blue, yelled back. "Now that's not fair. You've got a sniper over there using drugs! I'd call that cheating."

"What in the...?" Vermont nearly had a stroke trying to follow his line of reasoning.

"I'll handle this, chief," Moe nodded to her. That doesn't inspire much confidence. "Now you listen here, rhino-head; my moronic friend doesn't know what he's talking about. So here's what I propose, either he gets disqualified from participating or he shares some of his shooting crack with us to make it a fair fight!"

"WHAT!?!?" New Hampshire yelled, his brain hemorrhage audible.

"You heard me!" Moe shouted back confidently then swat Fine on the arm. "Now THAT'S how you do a deal."

"You always was the brains, Moe," Fine said dejected.

"Can somebody please explain to me what the H**L IS GOING ON!?!?" Vermont snapped, this conversation bringing her the closest to her breaking point than she had her entire week there.

"Ease up, sister. I'm trying to get us a score. We can make a killin offa his stash," Moe jabbed her way, but she caught his hand and began to squeeze.

"Hey, watch it! He's got tender hands!" Curly Howard tried to intervene only for her to apply pressure to his trapezius, reducing him to the ground.

She glared at Fine and sneered, "Do you have anything to add?"

"Um, you think we'll be done with them by lunch?" Larry leaned away from her and fiddled with his hands. "I's got a doctor's appointment for my pink eye." Vermont threw Moe's hand at the rock and got to her feet.

"Just shoot when you get my signal," she ordered and left. But not fast enough to avoid hearing Fine ask if it would be a left or a right turn signal.

_____

"They sure have been back there a while," D'Artagnan noted and poked at the ground with his boot.

"Well of course they have," Athos stayed scoped in. "They've nowhere to go. I just feel sorry for the young mistress having to endure those lunatics."

"You and me both, pal," New Hampshire chimed in. "But, I let her pick first, so I don't feel too bad. Just be careful, she has a modified hologram unit that she has a habit of using as camouflage."

"A fellow gentleman, then," Aramis assumed, ignoring the comment regarding the opposing agent's equipment.

"I wouldn't go that far, but chivalry isn't exactly dead with him," Vermont said from behind them, sitting on a tree stump and letting her legs dangle.