(Red vs. Blue) Project Freelancer: The Other Agents

Trouble in Paradise

"Ham, if you spray that, I swear I'll kill you," Rhode Island threatened the bulkier agent after catching him with a canister of cologne.

"What's wrong with it?" New Hampshire asked, inspecting the subject of his comrade's ire.

"It's the stuff they stocked the grunt lockers with," Rhodie explained and held out a demanding hand for him to surrender his contraband. "Why would you want to wear that stuff?"

"Figured I'd smell nice while we're out on shore leave, but that's just me," Ham shrugged.

"Dude, those guys make chemical weapons," New Mexico rounded the lockers ruffling his damp hair. "You really gonna trust them with how you smell?"

"I heard they started out as a body spray company," Hampshire tried to defend his choice. He honestly didn't care anymore, but he also wanted to see where his friends were going with this.

"Yeah, and it was so bad they turned to chemical warfare instead," New Mexico said.

"Alright, alright. You guys win," New Hampshire relented and surrendered the can of cologne with a sordid history. Rhode Island thanked him before immediately hurling it into a nearby wastebin. Ham was moments from a chuckle when Mex closed the distance and spritzed him with a smaller bottle. "The fu-?"

"You can thank us later," New Mexico passed the bottle to Rhode Island after applying a few dabs to himself.

"It'll keep you from smelling like sweat and dirt," Rhode Island twirled the bottle before storing it into a nearby duffel. "And must."

"You guys are nuts," New Hampshire shook his head and smiled. But, I'm still with em, so I guess I'm just as crazy.

"You guys ready?" Maryland asked as she approached, the only one of the group dressed in something other than the green shirts and khaki slacks issued to them by the UNSC. Rather, she sported a shirt matching her armor color and pants as white as her hair.

"Sure, but where's Vee?" New Mexico asked as she sidled up next to him. New Hampshire noticed the boys weren't the only ones who had applied something to aid their scents.

"I'm here," Vermont gracelessly stumbled around the corner while attempting to braid her brown hair, her silver eyes proving a surprisingly competent compliment to the otherwise drab garb they all wore, and New Hampshire could've sworn she... he shook the thoughts from his head. What the f**k, dude? New Hampshire voluntarily led their departure from the locker room and into the open air.

"You kids have fun," Puerto Rico called to them before they exited the base's premises, nursing her side and supporting her weight against D.C.

"What happened to you, Nita?" Maryland abandoned her post and rushed over to check on the other off-duty agent.

"Got my a*s handed to me by some crazy b***h wanting to join the program," she explained through grit teeth.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure those rounds didn't count," D.C. pointed out.

"Oh, don't try it," she nudged him before jabbing a thumb at him and adding, "she whooped his a*s too."

Maryland called over New Mexico, leaving the three from the original bunch to wait for them. "I'm glad you told him," Rhode Island said, watching his friend converse. New Hampshire and Vermont both exchanged a look, prompting Rhodie to follow up, "You guys said you were gonna tell him."

"We were," Vermont said. "But things got busy really quick and, before you know it-"

"They moved really fast, dude," New Hampshire deflected. "Besides, it's not like he hasn't seen her in that state."