Sincerely, Sinclair || Sinclair Bryant x Reader ||

Chapter 12: Loss of Inspiration

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"I was wondering if you'd be my plus one?"

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Mum's words sat with me for the rest of the night. I had never seen her so passionate about something. I had never heard her so serious about something. She meant it with all of her heart when she told me that Sinclair was the one for me. Mum had never said that about anyone. Mum hadn't even said that about Travis, and she loved him endlessly. There was something about Sinclair that had resonated with my mother. So, that was definitely something to think about.

To be honest, that entire evening was still swimming around in my head. I hadn't expected Sinclair to be so forward about the way he felt about me. He spent the entire ride home babbling on and on about how much he enjoyed my parents' company. I don't even think that he realized the weight behind what he had said. 

And I know that he didn't realize what it had done for the way that I felt about him.

I loved Sinclair. There was no point in denying it. In the span of a month, I had allowed my heart to fall in love after I had sworn off loving anyone ever again. The icy walls that I had spent the last year building as protected were suddenly melted away. My heart was open again, and it was open for Sinclair.

I knew that I had been being difficult. What I wanted what being presented to me on a silver platter, only growing more and more tempting the longer than I ignored it. I knew that I was letting my insecurities and my fear hold me back from what I wanted. Sinclair was what I wanted, and I'd be stupid to let him get away.

Sinclair didn't stay long after he dropped me off my apartment. He had work in the morning and still had a few things to do at home, so he didn't exactly have time to stay and chat. I went straight to bed, wanting to have some time to sit and think about what Mum had said. I didn't sleep much that night, because the whole ordeal had totally shocked me. 

I knew I needed to figure out what I wanted. Scratch that, I knew what I wanted. I knew that I needed to figure out whether I was ready for what I wanted.

For now, I knew that I was not ready.

Before you judge me, I am WELL aware that I deserved to feel guilty about that. Trust me when I say that I did feel guilty, but looking back, I think that my reaction was valid. I wasn't holding out on Sinclair with the intentions of dragging him along and toying with his feelings. I just didn't know how I felt about being in a relationship after spending so much time avoiding one. 

I knew that I needed more time. I needed that perfect moment that assured me that I was making the right choice with Sinclair. I needed to be absolutely sure before my put my heart out on the line again.

I had a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of things to consider. I needed more time, and I just hoped that Sinclair's patience was as strong as he claimed for it to be.

Despite my lack of sleep, I was rather refreshed the next morning. I woke up from the small bit of sleep that I did get, my feet ready to set me into action just as fast as my eyes opened. I needed to call Audrey and Jade, but I figured I'd be better off to see Jade at the bakery. As her deadline grew closer, the harder she worked. Her fear of losing the bakery was all too real now, and she was already beginning to pack things up.

 I immediately noticed something was off when I entered the kitchen. There was a half-folded piece of paper placed perfectly in the center of the countertop. I picked it up with a quirked brow, but my brain registered the handwriting of the note immediately. A smile came forth to my face as I began to read.

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[Y/N], 

I'm so sorry that I had to dash out as fast as I did last night. Summertime is a busy time of year for me, and I'm afraid that I don't have much evening free time during the week. I had an absolutely wonderful time last night. Your parents were positively lovely, and I hope you'll allow me to see them again soon. Make sure that you eat breakfast to get your day started, and maybe try to work on your book if you feel like it. Oh, and call me whenever you're up and moving!