Between Lions and Men

17: hold your peace

Briseis

"I still think knocking him over the head is justified, I really do. It's very very very tempting on a daily basis mostly when he opens his mouth—," Captain Peleus, sitting at the piano with a glass of wine even though it's two in the afternoon.

"Someone, or thing, is locked in the basement and they were kidnapped to get them away from it, that's an issue," the physical manifestation of Captain Peleus' brain says.

"As I said, we were trying to get open locks to the basement, and someone was definitely down there, and there were two locks—why put two locks if it was a dog or something?" I ask, as I sit on the sofa by Major Ithaca who is still out. It's not that bad, several people have assured me that he just doesn't sleep of his own volition and this is good for him. So we are back at the farm house, waiting for him to wake up, while we plan.

"Big dog? My father doesn't trust any animal not to randomly turn into a person. I understand he had a unique youth, but as I rule I don't pay attention when he speaks. But I agree with you, someone should look into it. I vote a mature person who hasn't had a drink yet, Sergeant Menoetius why don't you go and take care of that?" Captain Peleus, cheerfully, tapping away at the piano.

"Wait just a minute, when did I become the 'mature' person in this relationship?" Sergeant Menoetius folds his arms, "That is not at all fair—,"

"A very very very long time ago—,"

"Who has been acquitted of murder three times? Me, not you, me. Who has a permanent floating poker game in camp? Me, that's who. Who is banned from eighteen different drinking establishments on two continents? Me. That's who. Who says 'ah, all right' whenever you suggest doing something idiotic and likely to get us both killed or cursed? Me, that's who, not the mature one, no, I'm out," Sergeant Menoetius says. Sadly, I'm sure over half of that is true.

"You are the mature one because when I say 'let's go stick something to the back of Diomedes' head you just say 'ah all right', instead of actually proposing the thing. By having one sixteenth more rationality than I, you are the mature one—what you can't expect me to do it? I don't like doing things, as a rule?" Captain Peleus, pathetically, sipping his wine, "If there has to be a mature one, it is you."

"Her!!? Is that not why we have her?" Sergeant Menoetius, pointing at me, with both hands.

"Not fair, you can't make a woman be mature for both of us that's horrible; have you met us?"

"I'll be mature for both of you and end this conversation. We are going to get someone who is trapped in a basement, out of basement, I don't care if it's in the house of a god, we are going," I sigh. Every single conversation with these two just affirms the fact that they apparently spent their entire lives up until this point having increasingly poor ideas and encouraging the other to do them. That is it; that is all they did it would seem. I keep expecting to find contradictory evidence, but I cannot.

"Right. Menoetius will help you out with that—,"

"You sent Auto to bring Aias I'll go with him," I sigh. I don't like the man particularly, however he's not strictly cruel and calls me 'my lady' which is rather nice when I'm his Captain's bed slave.

"No, I sent for Aias to come and take HIM away," Captain Peleus points at Major Ithaca, "I may want to have sex in every room of this house with one or both of you and I can't do that with him here breathing like he does and it's getting late." Once more, it is two pm. "We're going to want to start that soon whoever wants to go first or not at all is fine, but have some wine and consider. Not like we're doing anything else—,"

"We are finding out who is in your Colonel's basement," I say, angrily.

"One of you is," he nods, "How many people can it take?"