Dinner with the family was supposed to be a special moment for me. Ever since I was a child, I always look forward to this. Kasi this is the only time na magiging complete kami sa hapag kainan.
But as we grew older, nawawala ang saysay niya. I have two older sisters and one younger sister. All girls kami, obviously. Minsan lang kami magkita sa bahay. Kung hindi sila naalis, nakakulong sila sakanilang mga kwarto.
I couldn't blame them though kasi kahit ako naman mas pipiliing magkulong na lang sa kwarto 'o umalis. The house is too vast for us to even greet each other and if none of us would even make the effort, hindi talaga kami magkikita sa bahay. As if I'd make the effort to see them, tapos susungitan lang ako after. Even my younger sister is like that! I guess we all have the same attitude pala.
Tahimik lamang kaming kumakain sa hapag kainan. Paminsan minsan ay magsisimula ng topic si papa pero ang iiksi naman ng mga sagot nila sakanya. I was the only one who tried to converse with papa as much as I could. Papa is the sweetest and it hurts to see me that no one is even trying to return his energy. Mabait lang sila kapag may kailangan!
Though, I could understand where their lack of energy comes from. Mommy is too controlling and papa has always turned a blind eye to mama's attitude. Papa may be a good man but his love for mommy has made him... ignorant and oblivious and well, stupid.
That's why I promised myself that if I ever fall in love, I will never tolerate any kind of foolishness from that man. Especially if it comes to my future kids. There is no way in hell I'd control their lives like what my mom is doing to all of us right now. But it doesn't mean I'll let them rebel against me. They can't do that to me! Baka ako pa mag rebel sakanila!
"I'm glad everyone's doing fine," Papa said as he sipped on his glass of water.
Tahimik lamang si ate Elenora habang inuubos niya ang kanyang pagkain. Nakangiti naman si ate Carolina kay papa. Si Anastasia naman, ang 15 years old namin ay lumingon sa gawi ko.
"You're gonna be a model now?" She suddenly asked, "I want to be one too"
I fake a smile. Buti na lang at si mommy ang sumagot sakanya. "You will be one, dear, pero sa ngayon, si Cleobella muna"
"Why don't you grow up fast? para ikaw na magtake-over sa posisyon ko" Bulong ko sakanya ng pa-sekreto.
She gasps. Tinignan niya ako ng nanlalaki ang mga mata. She lean in just to whisper back, "You don't want to be one? Omg, isusumbong kita kay mom---"
I stepped on her foot as hard as I could to shut her up. Kasabay no'n ay peke akong umubo para hindi marinig ang pag-aray ni Tasia. Kinurot niya ako kaagad sa tagiliran at napaimpit ako sa sakit--- but I did my best not to be heard! Malalagot kaming dalawa wala sa oras.
I turned and eyed her. Giving out a warning. She stuck out her tongue at me, playfully.
"Anastasia, what's with the tongue" Malditang sambit ni mommy kaya napaayos kaming dalawa ng upo.
I wanted to laugh then. Poor Anastasia. Siya ang nakita.
"Oh, nothing mommy. Meron lang kasing... uh... you know, my tongue was a little bit... makati" Pagrarason niya. She was dumb for that. What a stupid reason.
Sa harapan naming dalawa, nakita kong napa singhap ng hangin si ate Elenora. While ate Carolina gave us a suspicious look. I beamed them another fake smile of mine.
Pagkatapos ng dinner, dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko at agad na tinignan ang aking phone.
It's been days since Kaz and I talked. The last message I sent was the one where I apologized about re-scheduling our dinner.
