Swallow

Chapter 1.30:

As we walked out of Bannon's, I broke off and started to follow Mark and Aiden. I couldn't even force myself to look in Riley's direction or I would have never been able to walk away from her.

Space. I just need a little space. Maybe some time too. Time and space.

Riding in cramped quarters next to her wouldn't give me that. I was already stuck in a loop, replaying the way she shook as I touched her. I thought being with her would have ended my sick fascination, but it only did the opposite.

I only wanted more.

Mark started to open the passenger seat and I shot him a quick warning and nodded towards the backseat. He let go of the door handle and proceeded to climb in the back without putting up a fight. I opened the passenger side door and plopped down.

I closed my eyes and sat in silence as Aiden and Mark got in the car. They started gabbing on like teenage girls, giving a play-by-play of the concert. Mark kept smacking my shoulder and asking me random things about the music. I kept mindlessly nodding my head like I agreed. I didn't even have the slightest clue what they were talking about because my mind was still in the wrong place.

I was still back at the concert. I was stuck on her.

This nagging longing in my chest didn't make sense at all. What was it about her that made me feel this disoriented? I had been with a ton of girl's and none of them had ever left me starving like this. There were a hundred numbers in my phone right now I could call. Any of them would give me anything I wanted if I sent them a one-word text. My phone should be in my hand, setting up one or two of them to come over to help me forget.

Fuck me. I should just let her go and move on to the next one.

The problem was I didn't want to call anyone else tonight. None of them would do the trick for me. In fact, I didn't even remember the last girl I fucked because it had been so long. I had never gone without for more than a few days and it was all because of the game Riley was playing with me.

That must be it. I only wanted her this way because she was an actual challenge for me. She didn't just immediately give me what every other girl did.

We beat JD and the girl's back to the house. I was tempted to hop in my car and go for a drive to clear my head, but I decided to go clean myself up instead. It had been a long time since I had to deal with dried cum in my pants. It felt like someone had taken paper mâché and smeared it all over my cock. It was starting to itch and I think one of my balls was permanently glued to my leg.

I went upstairs to my room and grabbed a clean pair of shorts and boxers to change into. I decided I was just going to go to bed as soon as I was done showering. The rest of the crew would be living it up downstairs and I wasn't in the mood to join in.

I stood in front of the mirror and began peeling my shirt off over my head. I chucked it to the floor before turning my attention to my pants. My boxers were practically standing up on their own. Once I broke the rigid fabric loose from my skin, I pushed them down and kicked them off the side.

I caught my reflection in the mirror and turned to try to figure out what was wrong with me. I looked like the same person. The tattoos and piercings were all in the right places, but something in the way my eyes stared back at me was off. It was like the reflection flipped and I was on the other side, beating on the glass to break free.

"This is your fault." I looked down at my dick and reprimanded it.

It just fucking shrugged at me like it had no idea what I was talking about. The other brain down there had found a way to take control of my body every time Riley came within a few hundred feet of it.