Psychotic Kids '-' Eli Moskowitz

Fucking Tears

The next morning I woke up, my head was pounding. I groaned sitting up, my vision was blurry, and I was so disoriented I puked over the side of my bed. Luckily when I opened my eyes, the puke had ended up in a bowl… being held by someone. I looked up slowly to see

“Hawk? What are you doing here?”

“Aisha’s over at Miguel’s. We figured you’d be totally hungover so, we each took one to look after” he chuckled

“Ah, thanks” I nodded, slowly lying back down.

Hawk took a small bag of fishy crackers and a water bottle off of my bedside table. He held them out for me and I gave him a look.

“Come on Harles, fishy crackers were your favorite snack when we were kids, and we got the tournament in a week. We can’t have you passing out on the floor now can we?”

“I haven’t passed out in over a week” I pointed out

“Actually, you passed out on wednesday, remember? You took a high kick, I got you to eat half an apple afterwards?” he corrected

“Oh shit right” I sighed

I cracked my neck taking the water bottle and chugging half of it. Hawk watched me with a sad look, and I knew he was gonna say something.

“Harles you gotta eat more-”

“No I don’t. I’m perfectly fine” I tried to stop him

“No you’re not!” he exclaimed “You barely eat anything, and you don’t sleep, which I know isn’t totally your fault but still. You need to eat more-”

“I cant”

“Why not?”

“Fucking look at me!” I screamed, jumping out of my bed and onto my feet “I’m disgusting! You don’t think I see myself every day!? You don’t think I know what I look like!? Huh!”

“Yeah and you’re gorgeous” Hawk stood up, inches over me, but I still had to look up with how close he was “Harley, you’re the most badass girl in our school. You’re one of the prettiest too okay? So shut the hell up about all that shit, because i-if- if I were a girl I would want to look exactly like you, okay? I mean it”

I froze. In his own way, Hawk knew how to comfort me better than anyone else ever could. I sniffed back tears, cause for some reason I felt like I wanted to cry. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. Not even close. Out of anybody I was glad it was Hawk. I didn’t want anyone else to have said it.

“Fucking tears” I scoffed, raising my hand to flick them away as quickly as possible.

“I won’t tell anyone” Hawk assured “Promise”

I looked up at him with his open arms, he was genuine. He gave me a wink and I couldn’t help but smile. I collapsed against Hawks chest, wrapping my arms around him, crying into his chest. I didn’t know what else to do, but with Hawk I felt like I could do anything I wanted. He wouldn’t care, Hawk was always there for me no matter what.

~~

A week later was the tournament. We were all nervous, though we didn’t show it. I had lost fights in my life, believe me, but the number was low. I was mostly worried about Miguel, he’s been really worked up since the party. Infact, he was currently taking practice shots in the air as we all stood outside the sports center, waiting for my dad to show up.

“Yo Miguel, calm down man. Save some for the tournament” Hawk advised

“Hey, are you sure you’re good to fight? It’s only been a few weeks since-”