Missing love (stolitz) (Blitzø angst)

Chapter 1 Nightmares

BLITZØ POV:

I woke up breathing heavily in cold sweat and tears streaming down my cheeks.

Great.. another nightmare..

I got up out of bed to check what time it is.

Its still 2:30, and i have work tomorrow.. great..

I walked up to my window opened it and looked out into the streets of Imp City, hearing nothing but crickets, looking up at the night sky.

I think about the nightmare i had and the voices came back.. from my hallucinations from the D.H.O.R.K.S incident.

Everyone was right tho.. im pathetic, i push people away yet everyone leaves so what's the point in keeping them around?

I don't understand why Millie and Moxxie still put up with my shit.

Like i do nothing but treat Moxxie like a fucking punching bag.

Then the fucking flash backs come back again from my past.. my dad saying i wont amount to anything, my sisters leaving me.. and my mom..

before i knew it tears started rolling down my cheeks again but i did nothing but have a straight face and stare into nothingness as the thoughts and the voices in my head consumed me and me agreeing with each word they said.

Im useless, worthless, im pathetic, ill amount to nothing, im nothing but a dumb imp, im selfish, im cold, i dont care about other people's feelings, im heartless, im cruel..
im a mistake.. and NO ONE will ever love me.. EVER!

Every single word that swirled around in my brain beat me and smacked me each time like a tone of breaks stabbing through my heart and soul..

My thoughts they wont shut up.. they just never stop...i just want them to stop....
"WORTHLESS" "HEARTLESS" "PATHETIC" "USELESS" "UNLOVED" "MISTAKE"

Shut up...shut.up..! "SHUT UP!!" I yelled as i threw the things of on my desk onto the floor glass breaking.

I sank down onto my knees tears streaming down my face and never seem to stop as i look at the floor covered in broken glass.

Luckily Loona is a heavy sleeper...i hope...

LOONA POV:

I was laying in my bed late at night on my phone scrolling through Voxtagram then all of a sudden i hear a scream and glass smashing from Blitzø's room which alerted me and i immediately run to his room but before i go in i hear crying.

I place my ear behind the door to listen in on what's happening inside.

"Why.. why me.."

i hear on the other side of the door,

"you useless fucking idiot, no one needs you or loves you.. just give up already"

my ears droop as i hear.. dad say that,

"you fucking pathetic, heartless, unloved mistake.."

hearing dad say these things makes my heart shatter. Why didnt he tell anyone he felt like this?

"I should be quite, you idiot its so late and you are making this much noise, youre gonna end up waking up Loona.."

he really does care so much more about others then himself.. and he kept all this to himself and never told any of us probably not to worry anyone.. im so sorry dad..

I hear more shuffling on the other side of the door then i hear the covers of the bed moving.

I think he went to bed so best to leave him, imma go sleep too.

I left then went to bed myself.

BLITZØ POV:

I stood up after calming down my crying a bit and slowly walked to my bed and tried to sleep but obviously the damn voices wouldnt stop so i just cried all night staring into nothing.

A/N:

And that's a rap for chapter 1! What do you guys think? I hope you are enjoyed reading this chapter and give me some feedback on what you think! Thanks and have a nice day/afternoon/night!