An Indescribable Feeling

Unforgivable Lies

Days passed with Anna barely seeing or speaking to her soulmates. She wasn't good with confrontation, so she avoided it. It was a busy time for BTS with the end of year shows rapidly approaching and they left for work early in the morning each day. By the time they got home, Anna was already in bed.

Jin and Namjoon had taken it upon themselves to be the responsible ones. Every morning they had to drag the others out the door to make sure they weren't late for work. The first morning after the incident was particularly bad. No one wanted to go to work. Namjoon had tried everything to move their schedule around so they wouldn't have to leave Anna alone, but it hadn't been possible. It was almost a week later, and they still hadn't found a chance to talk to Anna, to explain themselves and make things right.

The only one of them who spent any time with Anna was Jungkook. Since she hadn't kicked him out of their bed, Jungkook continued to sleep with Anna. However, it was a far cry from how they used to spend their nights. He was keeping his distance, not wanting to do anything that might make her change her mind. Every night he stared at her for a while before going to sleep. He wanted to hold her in his arms, kiss her, and tell her that he loved her and that he would never keep anything from her ever again.

Yoongi hadn't been in his studio since the incident. Luckily, he didn't have any deadlines at the moment, so he avoided the place where he ruined everything. He made a vow to himself to never spend so much time in the studio again. He blamed what had happened on his lack of sleep, almost as much as he blamed himself. Yoongi would never get himself into such a state again.

Out of all of them, it was Hoseok who was the most distraught. All the time he had spent with Anna in the dance studio was now tainted in her mind. She thought he was only teaching her to dance for some grand master plan to help her achieve her dream, but he had never thought of it that way. He loved to dance, and he loved sharing his passion with her. Dancing made him happy, it made him feel free, and he could tell Anna had been feeling the same way. He only hoped that he hadn't ruined that for her.

What Jimin remembered most about that night was the panic he had felt when Yoongi had come running into the dance studio. The rapper had been in such a state that they had to calm him down before they could understand what he was saying. Once they had gotten the short version of what had happened, they all immediately started to search for Anna and found Jungkook and Taehyung along the way.

The next thing he remembered was the pain in his heart as he watched his soulmate say things that he hoped she didn't truly believe. Jimin understood how your mind could twist and distort things, making you think the worst by playing on your greatest fears. It had been hard not to run to her, but after seeing how she reacted to Hoseok, he didn't think he could handle it if she rejected him.

For Taehyung, he wished that night had just been a bad dream. Every night he closed his eyes and hoped that when he woke up everything would be back to normal. Everything had been going so well, they had all been so happy, and now he didn't know what was going to happen. For someone who always had belief in a higher power telling him the right answers, this time of silence was unnerving.

Neither of them knew what to do to make this better. So, all Jimin and Taehyung could do was cling to each other as they watched their soulmates fall apart.

Meanwhile, Anna had asked Tom if they could cancel their Korean lessons for the rest of the week. However, she still had to go to work at HYBE. One of her favourite parts of her job was doing the subtitles for BTS's YouTube content, but at the moment she couldn't handle watching them over and over again. Instead, she asked if there was anything else that she could help with or even a different artist's content she could edit subtitles for. It turned out she had something else scheduled for that afternoon.

"Anna? Are you still okay to record today?"

She looked at the staff member who was a part of her media team, the team who was helping develop a fan base for her. Anna wondered if they knew about the big plan, about her future debut, that they were a part of. Nevertheless, she wouldn't blame them for just doing their jobs. They probably had no idea that she had been kept in the dark about it all.

"Yes. Of course, but I'd like to change the song if that's okay?"

"Oh, sure. You were going to sing Always by Yoon Mirae, right? What did you want to do instead?"

"Stay With Me by Chanyeol and Punch. It was the first Korean song I ever listened to."

"Have you watched the drama? The Goblin?"

"I started watching it but haven't finished it yet. But I heard this song way before I knew about the show. It just popped up on my recommended songs."

"Must have been fate."

"Yeah... Don't worry, I've been practising this one too, just for fun."

"For fun? Then why the change?"

"I just... It feels more fitting."

The staff member smiled sadly at her.

"Okay. No problem. Well, we're all set up for you, when you're ready."

Anna followed the staff member to the recording studio they had booked to film and record another cover song for her YouTube channel. The rest of her team were waiting there, and they were told about the change of song.

"Who's going to do the rap?"

Of course, Anna had always imagined one of her rapper soulmates singing this with her but that wasn't what she told them.

"I'll leave that up to you."

The staff members nodded and prepared to begin recording.

It was harder than she thought. While she was in the sound booth all she could think about was the time she recorded her part for Jungkook's mixtape. All she could see was Taehyung standing there, staring into her eyes with so much love and belief in her. Being in his arms had always made her feel safe, but now she wondered if it had only lured her into a false sense of security.

"My heart kept aching. So, I wanted to forget. If this is a dream, please let me wake up. Are you really my destiny?"

As she sang, a single tear ran down her cheek.