Silent Cries H.S {AU}

Chapter 29

"Please, kiss me again for I'm not sure if I can make it through the night."

                                        -A.H.N

I sat in my room, curled up in the corner as Nirvana rang in my ears, my door locked and my razors on the floor where I'd dropped them. Today was the day. The day I hated most out of the year. And when I'd opened a drawer in search of a notebook, I'd found them, dropped them, and ran to the other side of the room. I'd promised Harry that I wouldn't do that anymore, but it was so taunting, on today of all days.

I chewed my lip and looked out the window at the setting sun. I'd slept in until noon, knowing the less of the day I was awake for, the better. But when I had the nightmare, I knew that sleep was out of the question for the rest of the day.

"Fuck." I murmured, grabbing my phone. I hadn't wanted to bother Harry while he spent time with his mom, while she looked for her wedding dress, but I needed him. And I was hoping he would be okay with saving me from some dangerous thoughts.

I closed my eyes and held my breath as the phone rang, turning my radio down as I listened to it ring. I sighed in relief as he picked up on the third ring.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I tensed at the sound of his voice, my eyes finding the silver blades.

"I-I just needed to talk to you." I whispered, finding myself standing, but I forced myself back down as my eyes looked at the calendar on my nightstand, the horrible date marked.

"You sound upset, what's wrong?" I heard sounds around him dim and guessed that he was walking away for privacy.

"Nothing." I lied, making my way to my bed, staring off to the side at the sight of my old friends.

"Yes there is, what is it? You can tell me remember?" I bit my lip and sighed, his voice tricking me into sharing.

"I just needed you to talk me out of a bad place." I heard Harry take in a sharp breath.

"I'll be there in two minutes."

"No, Harry. Stay with your mom!" I ordered, regretting my decision.

"A dress isn't anything against your life." I looked to the blades again. "I'm coming over. I love you, please hang on for me baby."

"Okay." I whispered. "I love you, be careful." Harry getting in an accident on his way to save me was the last thing I wanted.

"I will."

The call ended and I sat, curling into a ball and trying to fight the urge to cut. I needed to escape it, I couldn't do that to Harry.

Within minutes, Harry was there as he had said, and burst into my room, sighing in relief as he saw me there, perfectly unharmed, physically.

I watched his eyes land on the razors, grasping the box and dropping it in the trash before sitting down on the bed and wrapping me in his ample arms. "I was terrified that I would get here and it would be like when you tried to kill yourself." Harry murmured into my hair, his pounding heart slowing gradually.

I snuggled into his chest, breathing in his thick cologne. The panic in my chest began to shrink as I sat, wrapped up in what could only be described as 'Harry'. I looked up at Harry through my eyelashes, finding him with his eyes closed tight as he tightened his grasp on me. I scooted closer to him and tucked my head under his chin, feeling him bury his face in my hair.

"I love you so much." He murmured, voice thick with emotion. "And if I would've found you on the floor... B-Bleeding out." His entire body shivered. "I don't think I could live."

I closed my eyes tight, ashamed of myself for worrying him this much from a simple phone call. "I'm sorry I'm such trouble." I whispered.

Harry hushed me softly, kissing the crown of my head. "I wouldn't want you anyway but how you are. You're my dream girl, Kellie. Depression or not." I nodded and sighed. "So what brought up the urge?" He questioned, tilting my head up after removing his chin.

I looked deep into his eyes and gulped. "It's the anniversary of when my dad died." His green orbs dulled into mucky green as his face fell even more.

"I'm so sorry baby. If I would've known I would've been here earlier." I shook my head.

"I wanted you to be with your mom. But I couldn't handle it alone." Harry hushed me and rubbed my cheek gently.

"It's no problem, darling." I nodded and leaned my head into his hand, looking up at his angelic face. He looked down at my arms and frowned, kissing my forehead before taking my arms into his hands, running his thumbs over the scars.

"Can I count them?" Harry asked softly.

I raised my eyebrows, looking down at the faded and newer scars running up and down both arms. There were straight lines, jagged ones, horizontal, and vertical. All telling a different story of when I just wanted to feel something or have some control over my life. All of them were shameful and made me sick.

I was such a weak human being.

"Why?" I whispered, voice soft.

Harry looked deep into my eyes, and sat in silence for a moment, thumbs caressing my arms. Then he leaned forward and gently slotted his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed as my heart sped at the sweet, delicateness of the soft kiss. The fire ran through my veins, just as it had since our gazes first met, and my skin became tingly under his hands. I leaned closer to him as he dropped my arms to wrap around my waist instead, my hands sliding up his chest to the back of his neck. It was amazing what a sweet little kiss could do.

Harry was first to pull back, his eyes hooded as he looked into my own green ones. He smiled softly, my thumb running over the dimple in his left cheek. He caught my hand before I lowered it, pressing a kiss to my fingers, palm, and the inside of my wrist. "I want to know how many times you needed me, and I wasn't there."

And in that one sentence, I knew he was the boy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He was my true love, my soul mate. Because only your other half could speak so lovingly about something you were undeniably ashamed of.