Thoughts That Keep Me Up At Night

7

So I've had a streak of good luck, but all I can think about is when the bad is going to come to level it out again. I'm so used to being surrounded by less fortunate situations that now that I'm getting lucky and having a good time, I'm spending it being anxious about when the next bad thing is going to come along. All of this has affected my capability to take care of myself. I'm not eating right, I'm stressing all the time, I'm pushing myself more than I should and then I get on my own case when I don't meet my unattainable expectations. I can't even take compliments, I've cried twice today bc one friend said that I'm like a mentor to them and another told me they trust me. It's just simple things, but I cried bc I can't understand why they look up to me or trust me of all people. It seems so stupid and so simple, and yet I just can't grasp it, I can't seem to explain to myself why.