With the help of Remus Lupin

The talk with Lupin

 Harry got back to the Gryffindor common rooms and ran to where his chest, more precisely where his razor lay. He began to rummage through the chest, but couldn't find the razor anywhere. This was bad. What if someone had found it? Then, it hit him. He had hid the razor beneath his pillow after Hermione and Ron barged into the room. He quickly got on his bed, and picked up the pillow. There lay his precious razor, almost begging to be used.

 He picked up the silver object, and as always, headed to the bathroom. He began to cut mercilessly. He kept telling himself that he was doing this, because he had forgotten his assignment. Being honest, Harry felt little to no guilt for not doing Snape's homework. After all, it's not like Snape treated him like any other student. Snape never stopped himself from showing how much he hated the boy, so why should Harry care about what Snape says to do, or not to do? He simply wanted an excuse to cut.

 After about five, Harry decided it was enough. If he cut too much now, he wouldn't have room to cut later on. He tried to always limit where he cut; his bottom (upper if necessary) left wrist. He was about to get out when he heard someone knocking on the door. "Harry, are you in there?" Ron had returned from breakfast. Harry was about to tell Ron that he was getting out until he realized that blood drops were falling to the floor. "Yeah, I'll get out soon. Just give me a moment!" Harry quickly proceeded to washing his wrist though it stung terribly. He then got some paper towels, cleaned the few droplets of blood on the floor, and flushed it down the toilet. He unlocked the door, and quickly got out while hiding the razor in his robe pocket.

 "Mate, are you ok? You're looking kinda pale..." Ron asked Harry, seeing how fazed he looked. "M'fine. Just got up on the wrong side of bed this morning..." Harry quickly brushed Ron's words away.

-During Potions-

   "Everyone shall turn in there essays, this moment." Snape murmured in his usual tone. Harry, unlike others, remained silent and seated. "Ah, Mr. Potter, and where might your essay be?" Snape gave him a slight glare. "I forgot to write it sir." Harry refused to look at Snape's eyes. Seeing the hatred in Snape's eyes was the last thing he needed. "So, the famous Harry Potter thinks that he is above all his professors, and that he doesn't have to follow their orders, does he?" Snape stepped closer, and spoke in a mocking tone.

 "I don't think like that sir. I was just busy, and forgot about it." Harry was fuming at this point. How dare Snape make such accusations? He didn't think that highly about himself. In fact, he thought so low of himself that it was frightening. Snape gave his twisted smile and said "And now we're talking back are we? I think that and not doing your assignment deserves a detention don't you think?" His smile faded, and he spoke in an intimidating tone, "Today, in the dungeons at 10 p.m. You shall prepare all the ingredients required for tomorrow's class."

 "Class over." Snape murmured and returned to his seat. Everyone rushed out, including Harry who was receiving worried glances from his fellow Gryffindors.

What would Snape do to Harry?

-After DADA class-

 "Well everyone, class is over, and don't forget to practice the 'Riddikulus' spell!" Lupin headed to Neville and said "Neville, you did a wonderful job today. I must say, I am quite glad that Severus wasn't here to see that!" He chuckled, and Neville gave a nervous laugh at the thought of what'd happen if Snape heard of what happened during class. Harry was packing his bag and last to leave, when Lupin caught Harry's attention "Harry! I was wondering if you had some time to spare?" Harry spun around and mumbled "Well, I do have detention, and I'm pretty sure that Snape would kill me if I was late...But then again, it isn't until night so..."

 "Wonderful!" Lupin tried to look as enthusiastic as possible. Harry raised an eyebrow, and Lupin quickly added, "Well, I mean it's bad that you have detention Harry, but it's great that you have time to speak with me." 

 Lupin took a seat and started the conversation "So Harry, how have your classes been recently?" Harry took a moment to think. He had been paying less attention to his classes recently. "I...I don't know...I suppose I have sort of..placed less importance on my classes recently..." Lupin looked as if he were in deep thought before he continued, "Harry, I've also noticed that you've been skipping a lot of meals recently. Are you alright?" Harry was starting to grow more anxious. He didn't want Lupin to find out how he's been feeling lately; about his habits, and about how he's seriously been considering suicide as an option. He wouldn't be able to stand it if Lupin found out how weak and vulnerable he actually was.

 "Yeah, M'alright. I've just had a lot to do recently, and the only way I could catch up with everything was by skipping a few meals." He tried to act nonchalant while saying this. However, Lupin asked in response "And is that why you forgot to write Snape's essay Harry?" Lupin could quite clearly tell that Harry was lying. 

 Harry had nothing to say. Lupin was too quick at noticing things, and Harry couldn't think of how he would convince Lupin that he was fine.

 "Tell me Harry, are you sure that you've been doing okay? You've been missing quite a few meals. I suppose that's because you haven't had much appetite or you could be self conscious about how you look, which in that case I'd tell you that you're fine just the way you are. You've also been paying less attention during class, and I'm pretty sure it's not just my class that you're not paying attention to, as I know that this is one of your favorite subjects. I've heard from Ron that you normally struggle to get up in the morning as well." Lupin stopped for a moment before continuing "Did you know that all of those are classic signs of depression?"

 Lupin had said this as if it were nothing, but Harry instantly tensed up. "I-I'm not depressed." Lupin proceeded to speak "Don't worry Harry, I'm not trying to accuse you or anything. Besides, it would be completely understandable if you were. I mean, after all that you've been through..." Unconsciously, Harry began to scratch his left arm where his cuts lay, and Lupin, who was eyeing Harry's actions caught sight of this.

 "Say Harry, what are some ways you cope with your feelings?" Lupin asked. Harry looked at Lupin "To cope with my feelings..?" Lupin looked Harry in the eyes and spoke "You know, such as drawing or reading. It really differs from person to person." Lupin was looking him in the eyes, making it more difficult to lie. His eyes just looked as if Harry could tell him...anything. They looked so trustworthy.

 "Well...I practice Quidditch." This was partly true. After all, playing Quidditch always seemed to get his mind off of things for a short while. "Very good! It's smart to cope by doing something that gives you joy." Lupin continued "Are there any other?" Harry could only think of his razor...hidden in his chest...just waiting to be used again..."I-I pet Hedwig's feathers? Th-They're really soft." Lupin smiled "Ah yes, Hedwig, quite an adorable pet. Helpful as well."

 Lupin carefully asked "You don't happen to have any bad habits do you Harry?"

"Bad...habits?"

"Well, things that may cause more harm to you than good" Lupin was watching Harry carefully. "I-I don't think so?" Harry did not like where this conversation was heading at all.

'Does Remus know?' The thought crossed Harry's mind. (And yes, Harry and Lupin are on first name bases. It's just that Harry was nervous so he was calling him 'professor Lupin'. In the books, you can see that they call each other by their first names later on in the series.)

 "Well Harry, I can tell that I'm making you feel uncomfortable. My apologies." Lupin got up from his seat and continued "Please do note, that you can come and talk to me whenever you need to." Lupin gave a warm smile. Harry got up and spoke "Thank you professor Lupin. I will." He tried to look as natural as possible, and walked out of the classroom.

 Lupin was lost at thought for a while. He just couldn't help but have a flashback from the past...