Sineye Plamya [Nikolai Lantsov]

foreword

。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。

His eyes were so beautiful. Not entirely brown but with bits of green seeping in and combining together into a colourful palette. Neither colour could ever win over the other and it made his eyes so interesting to glance at, to stare into. To never look away when crinkles appeared beside them because he was smiling or laughing or even when a tear slipped past those irises and plummeted down his cheek. 

She could not look away.

She reached out, pressed her hand to his cheek and wiped the fallen tear away with her thumb, barely holding her own tears at bay. The feeling of seeing him cry, seeing how he willingly showed her the vulnerable side of him was unexplainable. She wanted to ruin the person causing him to feel this way, but it was not possible. To do so she would have to ruin herself. And yet the pain already did its part on this.

His cheek was burning under the touch of her soft, tender palm. And he tried to embed that feeling into the deepest part of his heart and burn it in his mind, not sure when he'll get to feel it again. Not sure if he'll get to feel it again. Suddenly the intensity of her deep eyes became too much for him to bear and he averted his eyes to the floor, sadness consuming every cell in his body.

There was an invisible connection between them. It was dark, created by evil forces, yet it was there. But even this connection was not a glue strong enough to keep them together. Their hearts felt like two pieces of a complete puzzle, each in different hands of the world that was intentionally not piecing them together.

Her journey was what it all started with. A journey for lost memories, for finding out where she came from, what family she has that may still be alive, who she really was. It was all a giant black hole in her head and she felt the need to fill that hole with something meaningful, not really fearing what she might find. She knew nothing apart from the past few years of her life, it was as though someone built a wall around her old memories and she had to take it down without any tools, only her bare hands.

Who did this to her? Who was trying to keep her away from her past? What happened? All those questions were now answered, but the path to them was steep and never-ending.

Unexpectedly that path crossed with him and stayed parallel all this time. He was like a wave that crashed into her, swallowing her whole body but letting her resurface and take a fresh breath of air. He took her to the shore safely but didn't leave her, not after he found her so captivating.

They were so unlike one another. He knew how to use his words for his own benefit while she stumbled at the simplest of speaking. He knew how to adapt to every situation, finding his way about while she hid at the back of the crowds. He knew how to fight, to fire a gun, to command and steer his own ship and she was like a toddler, fearful, barely making it through the world. She knew how to run away from problems, and she was fast too. A lot of the times she acted by instinct, which was the only thing keeping her alive, while he was clever enough to calculate his every move.

But there was one thing they shared – the passion for more.
To know more, to learn more, to be more.

Slowly with every stroke of a carefully guided brush, she painted the picture of her past, a picture of her true self and splashed it with colour and added texture. She was blinded by the hope of finding herself through what she never knew about her childhood only to realise the past can't change her and she had it in herself all along. The picture wasn't complete yet though. One major subject was missing at the centre of it. He was missing. He came along. And now she raised the brush of the canvas leaving the picture incomplete, with that letting him go and leaving him behind.

She removed her hand off his cheek and took a meek step back. The pain was too much for her to bear and if she lingered only a moment longer, his welcoming arms would wrap around her and never let her go. But this is not how it's supposed to be.

Neither knew what will happen next but there was one thing they were sure about – their paths were now parting.

This story may have a logical ending even though it is sad, that fact alone is for everyone to determine by themselves. The end is painful and it wants you to scream at the pages of the book, to shout and prevent these characters from parting at all. But that's the thing with stories – they always end. Above all, this is still a beautiful love story worth reading.

And it goes something like this...

。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。˚ 。