Past, Present and Future (George Russell)

Chapter 5

Y/N 5 years ago

I sat in my house with my friends as we watched the pre-show of the Grand Prix live on sky sports F1. This week they were in Austria. I was missing my boyfriend, Emil Bernstorff. He was a driver in F2 and we had been dating for 3 years.

He was having such a good weekend so far and it was only Saturday and they had only done one sprint race. With 2 tomorrow morning before the F1 race it was all to play for. He had finished 7rd.

Even when he wasn't here, we texted and called throughout the day if we could. We were enjoying the pre-race as they talked in the paddocks when Olivia suddenly noticed something at the side

"isn't that Emil?" she asked pointing to the screen

Yes, it was. He was standing with his back to the camera but by the back of his underarmer you could see his number and also see he was clearly kissing another girl that wasn't me. I was shocked.

"Who that fuck is she?" Libby asked what I was thinking "that fucking cheat." She added

I couldn't say anything. I just stared at him on the screen kissing her. How could he do this to me? when they finally moved on, I snapped out of the trance I was in.

"Are you ok?" Mia asked

"no," I replied a tear sliding down my cheek

"Oh, honey I'm so sorry you don't deserve this," Chloe said hugging me

I sat there and cried as my friends all gave me a big group hug to try and comfort me. When they finally parted Libby took control

"Ok. Tonight, you can cry and be all sad but tomorrow you build walls like mine and confront him when he's back." She said

"Ok," I said

"Good. now Olivia we need ice cream, Mia get some chocolate, Chloe your on-Gin duty and I will find a move. Ok, girls get moving." She said

I just sat and watched as she found a movie for us to cry over. She got out some blankets and tucked me up in one. The others each came back in with their items and a few minutes later we were all settled on the sofa. Libby started the movie and we all ate, drank and I cried a lot and they all joined in with me when the movie started getting sad.

Once that one was finished, we started another sad one and watched that. After we decided it was time for us to go to bed. All the others went to their rooms and Libby made sure I would be ok on my own in my room.

I said I would be and she left. After she left though I hugged my thighs and cried myself to sleep. He had chattered my heart and he probably didn't even know or care. I had ignored his calls all evening. When I woke up the next morning it was all over social media.

Everyone had noticed that he had cheated on me with another girl while he was away. I turned my phone off not wanting to see any more. I headed downstairs for some coffee and breakfast.

"Morning." Mia said

"Morning," I replied

"How are you feeling?" Libby asked

"Like shit," I replied

"Aww, honey. You just need to build some walls and heal. It will take time but I know you can do it." she said

"Yeah, I'll try," I replied

Libby had been hurt by her boyfriend when she was 16 and ever since then her heart had been locked up with the key thrown away. She has only ever opened up to me and the other since then and even then, the others don't know everything like I do.

Even though we only met last year it feels like longer. She's my best friend in the entire world and I love her. She's always there for me and for some tough love at times I need it. I didn't even want to watch the race today, which is very unlike me. I grew up watching it and with my dad being Mercedes team principal I was closer to the sport and drivers than ever but I couldn't risk seeing him in the background again.

The girls spend the day trying to distract me with things and tasks to do but I didn't work. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was scared to talk to him when he got back this evening but I knew I had to. I spent the evening just waiting for the doorbell to go.

When it finally went my heart started beating so much faster. I got up out of the living room and answered the door.

"Hey, babe." He said smiling

I glared at him and walked into the kitchen. I heard him close the door and follow me, I sat down at the table and he sat opposite me.

"So, I guess you saw it." he said his face now normal

"of course, I fucking saw it, how could I not," I shouted

"I didn't mean for you to find out this way." He said

"Well, you should have been more careful then or better than that break up with me before cheating like that," I said a bit calmer but my heart still racing

"I know." He said

"How long?" I asked

"a year." He said

"What! Are you fucking kidding me? you've been cheating on me for a year!" I shouted standing up

"Yeah. I know I should have ended things first but I just didn't know how?" he replied

"Are you Fucking serious right now. All you had to say was I think we should break up not fucking cheat on me for a whole fucking year." I shouted the rage building up in me

"I know. I just liked you and her and I didn't know what to do." He replied

"Oh my god," I said turning from him before the tears came. I took a deep breath and spoke "get out." I said

I watched as he got up and walked out of the door. I followed and saw Libby standing at the living room door

"you're a fucking asshole." She sneered at him "you should be sorry for what you have done to her." She added

He looked like he was going to say something but then thought better of it. He just grabbed his stuff from the door and left. Libby then came and hugged me as tears started to trickle down my cheeks again.

"Hey, none of that now. Good riddance to him. He doesn't deserve you anyway. No one does who's like that." She said

She was right. Drivers were bad news. I needed to stay away from the sport for a bit and well everything really. That evening I deactivated and deleted all my social media. I was done with it. I needed time away from everything.

From that moment on. I changed, from this kind loving girl to one who doesn't have many feelings and started building high walls around my heart to heal it.