Public Service Announcements of Justice

Stapling for Sadists

Watchtower Announcement: The award for scariest superhero has gone to the reigning champion Batman, congratulations or sorry depending on your view. Batman really clinched it when he offered to teach a class on torture methods using only a paperclip, nobody attended. In related news Batman is offering a course, 'stapling for sadists' he looks forward to your participation.

Aquaman: Keeping a few fish as pets is completely fine the league has provided you a gigantic aquarium for yourself and any sea creatures you have, however leaving them throughout the Watchtower is not acceptable. Sinks, baths, drinks, and random bowls left lying around are not homes for your 'subjects'. Wonder woman has promised to start killing your fish if she find another while she is in her bathroom. Please keep track of the sea creatures taking up residence in the watchtower or they will die.

Flash: Stop vibrating through the floors and falling into places you don't belong. It doesn't matter if it's an accident, if you fall into Wonder woman's room again she will force you to eat Aquaman's fish, alive.

Green Lantern: Just because you can make phallic constructs to use as bludgeoning weapons doesn't mean you should. They don't exactly inspire fear, they just bring about more uncomfortable questions from certain league members and some villains.

Batman: Sneaking behind people and whispering in their ears is disturbing and when heroes are surprised they are prone to accidentally using their powers. This is a reference to Flash falling through floors. We know it's on purpose don't pretend that's just how you approach people.

Martian Manhunter: There is no need to stuff yourself full of food and 'borrow' chemicals from the lab to experience throwing up. It was a learning experience that nobody gained anything from, in related news the Flash is also rather upset that we're out of Oreos.

Hawk Woman: Stop dragging your mace along the floor menacingly, some heroes have super hearing and the noise is more than slightly annoying. Scaring people into giving you wing massages is in poor taste, although Green Lantern seems to need very little encouragement and we're choosing not to question what you two do together afterwards. However he does often come out of your room covered in feathers and grinning.

Superman: We are sorry you heard a child call you a dork, but you need to get over it. Letting children's opinions affect you so much kind of plays into their assessment of your 'dorkiness'. We're also sorry that someone keeps leaving pieces of paper in your room that say 'dork'. We'd blame Batman, but that might be too childish even for him, maybe that's what Flash has been doing when he falls into your room.

Cyborg: Everyone is very sorry that right after you arrived back from your long mission you were forced to witness Martian Manhunter's 'vomit experiment', we are even more sorry that you slipped on it. He will come to your room to issue an apology and bring a gift, we don't know what, hopefully not food.

Notes: Thanks for reading please let me know what you think I'm happy to hear from you. Please vote it helps.