Love made Visible

XXXVII. Let go.

Sana.

I felt great. I enjoyed this day more than I thought I could. I was smiling as I wait for the elevator to reach our floor. I hurriedly went out as soon as the doors opened. The first thing I thought of doing as I entered the dorm was to go to Mina. Im not sure if she have seen my post, but if not I'd be glad to fill her in on what happened today. 

As I got into my sleepers I turned right towards Mina's room. I saw Jihyo who clearly have been there. I was about to walk past her when she asked. 

Jihyo: Where are you going?

Sana: to Mina's room. I can't wait to tell her what happened today.

I said excitedly and was about to turn when Jihyo took hold of my arm. 

Jihyo: I don't think that'll be a good idea to do now.

Me: Why?

I saw Jihyo looking like shes trying to think of something to say. Did Jihyo went to her because shes feeling down?

Me: Is she sick?

Jihyo looked at me startled but suddenly looking like she solved a mystery.

Jihyo: No, she's not sick but she's not feeling good right now. I just went to her she said she'll sleep on it. 

She's not a good liar. But if Mina isn't really feeling well, does that mean she saw it.

Me: Did she saw my post?

Jihyo: Yes she did, we did. It looked like you had a great time. 

Me: I actually didn't expect I'd have so much fun. 

Jihyo: What are you doing Sana?

Me: What do you mean? 

Jihyo: What are you doing with Chaeyoung?

Me: We cooked, ate dinner, talked and laughed.

Jihyo: You know what I'm asking.

Me: I'm just spending time with a new friend thats all.

She was eyeing me like she wants to say more but she didnt say anything.

Me: Hooh! I'm actually feeling exhausted now. I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow. Good night Jihyo.

Jihyo: good night Sana.

I hurriedly went to my room took my phone and messaged Chaeyoung.

I then went out for a shower and did my night routine. When I'm done I checked my phone still no reply from her. I went to my bed and lay down. I was staring at the ceiling thinking of what happened today.

My plan was to spend time with Chaeyoung to make Mina jealous. I know her so well that I knew why her mood changed when we were having dinner with Chaeyoung. Mina is smart but she can be dense sometimes specially about emotional stuff. She clearly likes Chaeyoung but it looks like something is holding her back. Its either she haven't realized it yet or she's controlling herself not to fall further. I wonder what it is that made her avoid Chaeyoung.

I'm glad she have already seen my post. Chaeyoung gave me a perfect scenario when she taught me how to make a pizza. I somewhat feel sorry if Mina got upset or cried over my post but hopefully it made her realize what she really feel. 

I haven't had that much fun before with someone aside from the girls. Just thinking about it already makes me smile. It was different to have a friend who's not in the same line of work as we are. 

An hour and a half later I heard my phone notifying me of a message.

----------------------------------------------------

Chaeyoung.

It's like time went slow as I lift my head up and saw her there. I instantly felt the warmth through the cold night. The worries I felt for the past few days suddenly vanished. 

I stayed a few minutes more just staring at the terrace even after she went in. Maybe I was still hoping that she'd come out again, say sorry and that it wasn't the last time. But it was just a wishful thinking.

I hurriedly went in the car and drove off. I tried not to think and fight the tears but I can't. When I felt like I was about to break down I noticed I was near the Han river.

As soon as I parked I went out and ran towards the river. I stopped at the railing panting. I then climbed the railing and sat by the edge of the river.

As soon as I sat, I broke down. Tears kept flowing as I sob. Damn, this really hurts so bad.

I just saw her and talked to her again. Yet I didn't dare ask why she was avoiding me. I was afraid that it'll hurt even more knowing the truth.

She agreed to see me when I said it's for the last time. Then there she was pretty as what I remember. She was near, yet far. How I wish I could hold and hug her. 

Somehow I knew this would come. That it'll end soon cause being with her is too good to be true. Our worlds are different. Like a princess who can't be with a peasant.

I didn't even get the chance to tell her how I feel about her. Maybe it's better that way. That it's better for us not to go any further when we will eventually end up like this.

That was it. A bitter ending to a brief chapter of my life. The time I've spent with a pretty angel. 

I closed my eyes and pictured her on my mind. I could clearly see her. Her hair flowing with the wind, happiness shining through her eyes with her gummy smile radiating her face.

Tears starts to flow again as I opened my eyes and saw she's not there. 

This is the end, I thought. I gotta wake up from this dream. Live my life in reality. This is where I let you go.

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Author's note:

Sorry for the late upload. I've been busy lately... I'll try my best to upload as soon as I can... Take care girlies! 😍